<p>Okay this is the third time I posted this but... I really need feedback.</p>
<p>Style Analysis and synthesis essays for AP lang.... grade grade? 1-9?</p>
<p>So i did tons of essays over the course of the weeks... I just got to lazy to post them up, but here they are~ I'm too tired to write any more essays today... i can't think straight so I decided to post these essays to use my time instead.</p>
<p>The style analysis essay is Florence Kelley's speech.</p>
<p>That speech is way too long, so i'll only post my essay here. You guys probably know her anyways xD.</p>
<p>the link -> Speaks Out on Child Labor and Woman Suffrage</p>
<p>I have a question btw. Do AP graders care about what tense you use? Because I tried remaining in the present tense the whole time, and it was kinda hard, because some of my sentences sound awkward because of that. oh well.</p>
<p>Style Analysis Essay 1:
-) "For the sake of the children... for the Republic..." (Kelley 92) is what Kelley aims to do. Florence Kelly has just one goal; to reel people using her powers of syntax and other rhetorical devices. Florence Kelly speaks through her sympathetic, caring, and convincing voice to awaken people to do what she wants.
-> "In Alabama... (Kelley 23) in Georgia..." (Kelley32) Kelley introduces these states to explain how child labor is a plague. Florence Kelley also spills asyndetons, polysyndetons, semi-colons, and compound sentences. She sparkles her essay with how young these kids are. She goes on with long-compound sentences. Her purpose fullfills achieving to surprise the audience with young age, stressed children, and stressful conditions. "They... [children] kint our stockings...they spin... they stamp... (Kelley 67-71) Kelley emphasizes "they" to represent children's many tasks. "They are in... commerce, in offices, in manufacturing..." (Kelley 16-17) Kelley's use of aysndeton also serves as a means to also list children's responsibility. "We do not wish them... We prefer to have our work done by men and women." (Kelley 78) Kelley finally finishes her speech to us. It's all up to us. It's all up to us. Kelley wants to give constant young ages to bewilder, give detailed children labor, and give repeats to remnant.
-> "Several thousand little girls will be working all night... while we sleep, (Kelley)... we prefer... work done [by adults]."... In Alabama... in Georgia (Kelley)". She punches you with pathos all over the place. She finds the purpose to hit with pity and sympathy. She wants people to take action. She wants people to feel guilty and bring changes, actually helping children out.
-> Florence Kelley wants an end to child labor. She reels people with overwhelming syntax and pathos through narrative detail. She knows people only listen when they feel guilty. That's why she attempts to touch people's heart, in order for people to touch change.</p>
<p>Okay here's my synthesis essay
Prompt: (Through my paraphrasing) Is it okay they repealed Prohibition?</p>
<p>-> Why on earth would you blame a simple intoxicating drink for your life's misery? Apparantly America once taught so. They blame alcohol for all their chaoes, when it really depends on how you use it. I don't believe in Prohibition, and i'm glad they decide to repeal it.
-> People should allow to have fun, why would the government take drastic actions by eliminating alcohol? Guadia states the 1,000,000... liquor..." consumes people everyday. He also states the "Prohibition Enforcement Union...is a joke"... because "bootleggers"...gain money even if there's resistance. The union isn't doing a good job eliminating it. In fact, people have become much worse! Bootleggers are becoming rich because of their rebellion. Once a law is given that people can make no complete sense of, their bound to rebel because of the lack of reason. Prohibition lacks the reasons why they eliminate alcohol, they blame their crimes on a substance, not like the use of it by people.
-> I ask again, why do people blame their crimes on alcohol? Souce B, E gives such accusations, but contain no evidence whatsoever! Because of alcohol, according to Nation, a person..."destroy [ed]" property... Because of alcohol, according to Source E... a man kills a baby... because of alcohol, according to there's "destruction...buisness [failure]." All these faulty reasonings contain too much emotion, and no evidence whatsoever. What destruction is source B talking about? Is it alcohol's fault that your a murderer? These documents contain no evidence.
-> The use of alcohol depend on the person's use. We shouldn't blame our stupidity of a non-living thing. We should have the least bit fun, but also be responsible. We should control our use of alcohol, we shouldn't have alcohol control us.</p>
<p>Score these essays from 1-9. Thanks</p>