I have no friends - advice for a commuter?

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So people of European descent can call themselves White, people of African descent can call themselves Black, but the second Middle Eastern folk say we’re Brown it’s racist. Damnit…</p>

<p>I’m in a similar situation. Freshmen year of college I went to a small school where I made friends easily. Soph year I transferred to a large university. My classes were huge (300 - 600 students). It’s not a commuter school, but it’s an Urban school with no campus and lots of unfriendly people. There is no campus culture, no school spirit, no one cares about sports, etc. People seemed to have made friends Freshmen year and have their little cliques.</p>

<p>I have like only 3-4 good friends and a ton of aquaintances who I’m friendly with but they’re not really “friends”. I guess that’s the way things are at large urban universities as opposed to little LAC’s in the middle of nowhere where people have no choice but to become friends.</p>

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<p>Edit: Sorry, that other response sounded rude. None of my replies in this thread result in bringing about your claim that it’s wrong to place that label upon one’s self.</p>

<p>Oh, ok. I’m sorry if I was rude then. I suppose I’m touchy about the subject because I got yelled at a teacher in HS who told me it was racist to call brown people brown. I don’t get it. </p>

<p>I’ve also been told it’s racist to use the word “colored”. The PC term white people made up is “people of color” so we all have to use that now or white people will get upset. I try to avoid that word now.</p>

<p>^It’s all good.</p>

<p>Like I said before, it’s all about what’s acceptable at the current time. I’m black, and I don’t find the term colored to be racist per se, but it is an antiquated term. It may have to do with the fact that some people are trying to shift away from those days when the word was more prevalent and racism ran more rampant in this country. That’s just my guess though.</p>

<p>Sorry they don’t like you :(</p>

<p>“Wow, northstarmom. A play? It’s 2010, seriously. No offense but you’re Dating yourself.”</p>

<p>During the last few years, I’ve been on stage in community theater and at 2 local colleges, and I’ve seen a variety of romances and friendships blossom among those – including college students – who are involved backstage and on stage. It’s a great way for even shy people to make friends and meet romantic partners.</p>

<p>Anything that you enjoy that involves teamwork is usually a nice way to meet people. You get to know the other people well, and you have lots to talk about.</p>

<p>I think “colored” must be an offensive term because up until the 1950’s it was commonly used as a degrading term for black Americans. Even though by itself “colored” isn’t degrading, in a certain context it could be. That’s why I never use that word. I wouldn’t want to offend anyone unintentionally. </p>

<p>I agree with Northstarmom. Any activity where you’re essentially forced to interact with other people - work, sports, clubs - is good for meeting people.</p>

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<p>Unless he’s looking to get with another guy - which is perfectly fine, perhaps even a Superior choice - then what use does he have for theater groupies?</p>

<p>@BlackBeltDuckie: Who are you to decide what may be considered offensive to a certain race? I hate to go on a tangent here and completely disregard what this thread is addressing, but apparently people like you would rather talk about certain ethnicties and how to distinguish them. I’m sure it wasn’t the original poster’s intent to slander a certain race of people by calling a group of people “brown,” but you had to take that entirely out of context and declare that term as offensive. I’m not sensitive to this kind of stuff, but I can’t stand the people that take it upon themselves to assess the discriminatory nature of a particular word. It seems that in this day and age, any word addressing race is inappropriate–‘white,’ ‘black,’ and ‘brown’ are “offensive.” Keep the values you believe in regarding race to yourselves and stop projecting what is right and wrong, once someone is actually personally offended by what someone calls them can you think about interjecting.</p>

<p>Um. Back on topic…</p>

<p>I think joining clubs and attending events would help a lot. I know you said that the webpages for most clubs haven’t been updated in years, but try looking for fliers posted around the school–those are usually the best way to find out about clubs, events, or anything else that might interest you. </p>

<p>At my college, students are also allowed to send (approved) mass announcement emails about an organization, clubs, meetings, events, etc. that are taking place. That could also be a good place to start. </p>

<p>Finally, if a else fails, consider forming your own commuter club. I doubt you’re the only commuter who feels left out at your college. It can be a great way to meet some people–who also can relate to your situation.</p>

<p>Friends are overrated.</p>

<p>You said you don’t party or drink. What is partying? It’s just people gathering. Don’t avoid that, awkward people can thrive off of parties. You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, but it can cure self-awareness (a good thing for shy people to a point)</p>

<p>With party conversation it’s not like you have to actually put yourself out there. What’s doin, whos house is this anyway, what are you drinking, ahhh class tomorrow bummer, this music is rad, whatever. Do socially accepted stuff like watch football, drink or smoke and you automatically stake off more people who relate to you. </p>

<p>Just now I came up with this shy person paradox. Being shy, large groups are scarier, but in large groups you don’t have to talk as much as a two person convo. If I was your therapist, I would give you a brochure explaining this concept.</p>

<ol>
<li>Where da large groups at (parties)</li>
<li>Where da parties at (homework for you)</li>
</ol>

<p>if you can pull these off you might have to deal with</p>

<ol>
<li>Where da police at</li>
</ol>

<p>but baby steps k</p>