<p>Your situation is very complicated, and I wish you the best-- but don’t count on taking a train from San Diego to UCLA. Amtrak goes to Union Station in downtown LA, a long way from Westwood. </p>
<p>It generally takes about 2 and 1/2 hours to drive from Westwood to downtown San Diego, in light traffic. We rarely see that here.</p>
<p>–from an LA mom.</p>
<p>Wow i never seen SPAM on CC. </p>
<p>You all got me thinking about the whole “its much easier with an infant” thing. So for now, we decided why not take a few courses this summer?
UCLA summer has 2 sessions, 6 weeks each. We planned on going to san diego anyhow for about 10 days to show the baby to everyone. So we figure it is not a bad deal for me to take 2 courses this upcoming summer, i would only be gone for 5 weeks b/c 1 weeks hubby would spend with me in San Diego. </p>
<p>5 weeks is really nothing, and i think the commute would be ok, i just go two times a week. </p>
<p>I think that all the planning i am trying to do is unrealistic. So for now i guess i am just going to take it as it comes. 8 units this summer is something and hopefully a summer here or there and a quarter or something and I will be all done.</p>
<p>Hi Malishka.</p>
<p>Wow, this does sound complicated. I just want to highlight a few points that maybe have gotten lost in the discussion. </p>
<p>First and foremost, having your young family separated seems like a terrible idea to me. True, people in certain circumstances (e.g., the military) do this all the time. But no one does it willingly. I can’t help but wonder whether something else is going on here…homesickness perhaps? wanting your family of origin to be in your baby’s life?</p>
<p>Bottom-line re: where to finish your degree…Honestly it really doesn’t matter a whole lot where you finish your undergraduate work. It sounds like Baruch would be the most direct route to gainful employment if you want to be an actuary.</p>
<p>I agree with others in that it seems like both you and your H are all over the place re: your career and life goals. Maybe it would be helpful to see a couple’s counselor a few times to sort some of this stuff out.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>You are going to take 2 intensive summer courses with a NEWBORN and 4-5 hours of commuting per day??? Don’t most courses like that meet everyday, or at least 3 times a week? Are you aware that the baby will probably be up at least every 2 hours every night for weeks after it is born? Are you planning to nurse this child? If so–and I would highly recommend it–are you planning to haul a pump with you on the train and pump every two hours all day while you are away? And find some way to keep the milk cold?</p>
<p>I think you hit the nail on the head when you said " I think that all the planning i am trying to do is unrealistic. So for now i guess i am just going to take it as it comes." Just stop right there, and don’t go on to the 8 credits this summer! :)</p>
<p>My courses are only 2 times a week. I would only be gone 2 days out of the week. I am not nursing b/c i cant medically do so. Considering the courses are M/W I do not think it seems that bad at all. Some new moms work and are gone daily, i would be gone 2 times a week. Even if i stay here in NY and never go to UCLA i would still not be with her 24/7, i would go to class anyways and be gone part of the day, and some stranger would watch her instead of a grand parent. </p>
<p>In terms of the homesickness- i miss san diego and being in the suburbs, not exactly my family, and i have only 2 friends there. When i went back in January for 2 weeks, i felt it was way too long. It has been about 2 years since i lived at home- i rarely visit actually. </p>
<p>I dont see how a couples counselor sorts out career goals? Wouldnt that be more of a school counselor or career counselor at a university?</p>
<p>In terms of why not just stay in Baruch- for 1 , what if i do not pass actuary exams? They are hard, and it is VERY realistic that i might not pass them at all. Another thing is that i do have a lot invested in UCLA- and just throwing it away seems lame- i would like to follow through if i can.</p>
<p>Okay, if your baby will be bottlefed, that does simplify the logistics. Nevertheless, I would still caution you that lack of sleep is a major factor for most people during the first few months. I believe you said you are due in July? How would that timing fit with the class schedules? </p>
<p>I certainly think you could manage it when the baby is older, as I said earlier, but newborns are another matter. Is there any possibility that you can wait to enroll until you see how things work out? (You know, not to borrow trouble, but you could end up having a c-section, and really not be able to get around easily for a while…)</p>
<p>A couple’s counselor can help you sort out your life goals – together. Again, I’m not sure you or your H realize how tough it would be to be living so far apart, especially with a young child involved. </p>
<p>Also, you are struggling with countless internal conflicts. A couple’s counselor could help you both sort out the “which school”, “which major”, “which career(s)”, “when” questions as well. You just seem totally preoccupied and overwhelmed with this stuff right now.</p>
<p>Good luck sorting things out.</p>
<p>I moved with 1 semester of classes left and got my Cal school to authorise a guest semester elsewhere. This was many many years ago, but even UCs are willing to be flexible at the right time if you find some one who knows what can and cannot be allowed as an exception. Talk to your department advisor and ask what creative options are open to you.</p>
<p>I would think the fastest means to the end is the best, a short tough separation, but then reunite mom & dad asap.</p>