<p>Packmom:</p>
<p>I read your post quickly and thought you had to secretly administer an illicit drug to your son in order for him to even get in the car! :)</p>
<p>Older D would not visit any school until after she was ADMITTED, which made for tight scheduling during her sport season, but it worked, there were some schools she simply did not visit, as they were further down the list.</p>
<p>Youngest D has 2 schools on her app lists, one safety public and one private w/merit $. We made the plans to visit the private- 6 hours a way- as I cannot see her only doing two apps when she has not even seen the school. She could do tours, overnights, connect with old neighbors who go there, stay the whole day w/o us, etc. Nope, no overnight, connected w/ one HS friend, lunched with us not in the dining hall-despite free meal provided- and left w/o much comment.</p>
<p>In conversation days later, she revealed that she learned nothing bad and everything else was as expected…so, why bother with the time and $ for the visit. It is what it is, on the visit it seems to be exactly what she thought, so fine. But, how does she have a clue what to think about it, I swear she has done little research and when she chose this school over a year ago, her HS acquaintance had not yet gone there.</p>
<p>I guess they know what they like.</p>
<p>I am with poetsheart on this one as I cannot imagine our son pulling a stunt like that. I know that by the time of the UofRochester tour he had decided that it was not the place for him but he completed the visit asking questions throughout. In fact of the 7 college visits there were only 3 that he was excited about. But he gave all seven a shot at selling themselves to him.</p>
<p>I remember when my niece was visiting colleges she decided that Princeton was definitely not the place for her because she did not like the tour guide’s shoes.</p>
<p>Wonder what leads to these knee-jerk reactions?</p>
<p>Our S. had a couple automatic dislikes, and in fact had almost the same reaction to BC as weenie’s did. We did always “go through the motions”, though, and explored even if the first impression wasn’t great, since all the visits had entailed long drives. Even so, the initial reaction usually stuck. </p>
<p>That said, we did a TON of research on our own before visiting, so only made the trips to the schools S. was serious about. I found it all very interesting!</p>
<p>Poetsheart and Originaloog,
Yeah, I’m with ya, too. DS was pretty meticulous about where he wanted to visit anyway, and had contacted people in advance/signed up, so he felt a responsibility to do the tour and hear the spiel. We were always careful to keep our mouths shut until after he had expressed his thoughts after the visit. If he asked what we thought at that point, we’d share our observations (though not necessarily our opinions). Sometimes he ruled out a school immediately after the tour, and for legitimate reasons based on his criteria (and I’m including his gut-check as valid), but he gave the schools a fair chance and a good listen.</p>
<p>That said, there were schools I thought he’d might want to visit, but he nixed from the get-go. Some of those decisions were consistent with his preferences; with others it wasn’t as clear. At least we hadn’t spent time/$$$.</p>
<p>The one school that was on/off/on the list for DH and DS1’s spring college visit marathon (and the one that took them the farthest from home) was one of his favorites. I never, never would have guessed that he would have liked the place that much. It is contra to so many of his criteria – but he REALLY liked the folks he talked to, the classes he visited – and he’s applying! </p>
<p>He seriously considered about 20 schools, we visited 13, he has eight of them on his list, and is seriously considering adding one more he had previously rejected.</p>
<p>The only school we made a separate long-distance trip to visit is the one WDJr is now attending. He practically lived at UW, and NO WAY did he want to go there, even though he viewed the proximity to home as a strong positive.</p>
<p>If he’d pulled the “I won’t get out of the car” stunt I would have killed him.</p>
<p>I remember my nephew traveling from Bellingham, WA to Swarthmore for a visit… his only question: “How are the burritos in the cafe?” My bro almost collapsed! My niece, his sister, on her trip to Colgate, decided against it because the tour guide student “had a really bad dye job” on her too-blonde hair. You’d think MY siblings would have learned! Their #3 child is going to school instate!</p>
<p>I was lucky in the S1 also decided to visit schools after he was accepted. Twin 1 and Twin 2 have decided between themselves to rate colleges based on their nearby fencing facilities or at least on how “hot” the girls in the college pool look. Ahhh, nothing like the brain of a 17-year-old male. haha</p>
<p>Fencersmother, just another note in the “fencing” sub-thread. John has been going to his fencing classes for two weeks now. His only two comments:</p>
<ol>
<li> Dad, my long arms are great! I can poke people who can’t reach me!</li>
<li> This really hurts my legs.</li>
</ol>
<p>At least it sounds like he’s having fun.</p>
<p>WashDad: long arms are a HUGE plus in fencing. We can’t decide if it is genetic or because of fencing, but Twin 1 and Twin 2 both have incredibly long arms (no gorilla comments, please). Almost 37" sleeve on 5’9" and 5’10-1/2" frames. </p>
<p>His legs will get used to it. </p>
<p>Glad to hear he likes it! It is a really great sport.</p>
<p>I DID have a knee jerk reaction to one school we looked at, most of the kids dressed alike, most carried backpacks, and there was little “color” in the attire and accessories</p>
<p>the most flare I saw was the frat guys pledging</p>
<p>I mean, I would expect 21 year olds to have some imagination in clothes- a scarf here, a non-back pack carrier for books (many backpacks were pretty empty), shoes besides sneakers, pants besides jeans and beige khakis</p>
<p>I don’t like fashion fanatics, but some imagination and individuality would have been nice</p>
<p>It turned me off, the more biegh, white, gray I saw felt so dreary and a feeling that noone wanted to “stand out” by wearing, gasp green or blue- I do not exagerate, it was just weird</p>
<p>So I get the gut reaction, but at least get out of the car so you can make fun of whatever you didn’t like later</p>
<p>1sokkermom, lol, I guess I should have said dragged instead of drug! No drugs used but he was definitely not enthusiatic about the trip, not rude just pretty uninterested. That was our one and only college visit. He had already made up his mind. He wanted to go to our big state u. but H and I thought he ought to at least look at one more school. S visited big state u. with his best friend (instead of Mom and Dad) had a great time and they are both juniors (and roommates) there this year.</p>
<p>CGM–that’s funny! When my kids and I were touring schools, the more people didn’t seem to pay attention to clothes, the better we liked it.</p>
<p>Though, after D’s first experience with a preppy-esque school, the site of some blue or green
hair really did lift her spirits.</p>
<p>Our guidance office gave a presentation on looking for colleges. They warned us that the kids would get to some schools and say, “Forget it, I’m not going here” before we even got out of the car. Happens a lot.</p>
<p>I told my mom that I wanted to look at Lehigh. It was 1 1/2 hours from home, the right size, and had a lot more men than women (sounded good to a 17 year old girl). We got to campus, and I said, “We don’t have to get out of the car. I’m not going here.” Mom insisted we get out and do the tour since we were there and had a “reservation,” so we did, but I knew I hated it from the moment we drove in. </p>
<p>On the way home, Mom insisted we stop at Lafayette, since my GC had recommended it. I thought Lafayette was too small, but Mom was driving. We drove into campus and I said, “Now THIS is what college is supposed to look like.” I toured, applied ED, enrolled, and loved it. (Obviously I was meant to go there, since Lehigh is our arch-rival and I had an instant negative reaction to it).</p>
<p>Flash forward 27 years. Hubby and I insist DS must at least look at the state flagship U (although he told us he wanted a small LAC). We get to the parking lot, and DS says, “We can tour it if you want to, but I’m not going here.” </p>
<p>What were the instant turn-offs? For me at Lehigh, the Bethlehem Steel plant at the base of the hill that was belching black smoke. For DS at flagship U, it was the traffic and busses in the loop across from the Visitors Center. But I know other people who’ve gone to both schools and loved them. So, to each his own…</p>
<p>But sometimes kids just have that gut reaction. You can make them take the tour, but it may just be a waste of your time.</p>
<p>My S was a trouper during a late summer/early fall tour of 11 colleges in 2006 just before his senior year in high school, although he did almost no preparation before each visit. He attended each information session and tour and had interviews at 10 of the colleges. Because interviews were scheduled, he went through with each visit as planned, although I remember he found it hard to stay awake during a couple of the information sessions. Because of his passivity in the college selection process prior to the tour, I was pleased when he expressed a strong negative reaction to four of the schools, even though his reasons for disliking each of the four seemed superficial and even random to me. The tour did help him come up with a final list of colleges, and he is currently attending one of the colleges that we visited on the tour. It is too early to tell if he chose the right college. I think several of the colleges we visited would have been good choices for him, but, in the end, luck will probably be the biggest factor in determining if he made a good choice.</p>
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</p>
<p>My d had a school on/off her list that had few of her criteria, but lots of people who knew the school said it was perfect for her. So finally she said, “OK, I’ll apply.” Not only did she apply, she got in, and guess where she is? And loving it!</p>
<p>She never pulled the not getting out of the car stunt (as with others, knowing I’d kill her), but she did ask that we not stay for a couple of tours - “They have dorms, classrooms & a library. Can we go now?” Some of her decisions were pretty random, but I think it’s more the case of not knowing quite how to put the “gut feeling” into words.</p>
<p>It wasn’t that I needed to see fashion plates, but at this one school it was almost as if there was a dress code, or dressing in anything that didn’t draw any kind of attention at all</p>
<p>Another turn off was going into a dorm at NYU and someone had gone to the toliet, # 1, and not flushed, could have been a parent on the tour, but it just made the room smell bad…the tour guide itgnored it, so I flushed it so the next group wouldn’t walk in on the smell of urine</p>
<p>I always say to trust the gut feeling, but you do have to give it a fair chance…my D said she wasn’t condering a Jesuit College at all, had that in HS, no interest for college, but once she visited and read more, it was a good place for her</p>
<p>My younger D thought she always wanted an untraditional campus, but after visiting some, realizes she DOES want that “traditional” campus feel</p>
<p>My friend told me about going with her son and another mm and son to visit a school in San Diego, I guess not the easiest trek, they flew done for one 1/2 days, it was hot and sticky, the flights were late, the step onto campus- “mom, not a chance”…</p>
<p>I had a similar experience with DS on our trip to PA last April. We visited Villanova to which he took an immediate liking (surprising me as I just threw it in on a whim). Then he said he wanted to drive into Philadelphia to see UPenn as he had a friend who was planning to go this year. We got as far as the industrial looking entry to the area (you drive under some giant metal structure that looks like a railroad bridge), and he was immediately turned off and said “This looks awful, let’s leave”. Penn was not on his list of schools so I was only humoring him by driving into town, but I was pretty irritated that we now had to turn around and leave. I had heard that the campus was actually quite nice if you park and walk around.</p>
<p>Lafalum: I had the same gut reactions to Lehigh and Lafayette that you had. I loved the Georgian buildings at Lafayette. I found it even more disturbing that Lehigh was running some kind of anti-date rape campaign the week we were there. Interestingly, DS had the opposite reaction to the two schools. Hated the architecture at Lafayette, and said the inside of the classrooms felt old and rundown. Didn’t mind the hills and town at Lehigh at all.</p>
<p>maman…</p>
<p>Oh no!! Well, maybe using those “virtual tours” or “campus webcams” on college websites will prevent this from happening again to you (and to others who might find themselves in the same situation). It sounds like she didn’t like “the look” of the campus (first impression). Looking at an online virtual tour or campus webcam might have avoided this. P.S. I probably would have killed my kid!!! You’re much nicer than me ;)</p>