<p>modest >>>> I don’t know how anyone could possibly look at a place from the car and know they’re not going there. The sheer thought of making that quick a judgment call on that kind of information makes my head feel like it’s going to explode.<<<<</p>
<p>Your post is a good one and it brings up a good point. How many of us have had to deal with someone who was so stubborn that they wouldn’t even look at something or consider something? Haven’t we wanted to pull our hair out when someone won’t even investigate a reasonable suggestion or idea. Haven’t we been frustrated when such people just say, “no” and that’s it? </p>
<p>I have 2 relatives that will say “no” to any suggested travel ideas. without any personal knowledge about the place, they’ll just something like, “I wouldn’t like that place”. BUT when they have been “forced” to travel to these places (to attend their children’s weddings, family reunions, etc), then surprise - surprise - they come back with all the wonderful stories about how much they loved sightseeing, etc. One swore she would hate going on a cruise - but “sucked it up” for a family reunion and - surprise - loved it. And, these same two don’t just do this about travel stuff. They’ll say no to many other things without any investigation or thought. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, this annoying habit of saying “no” without any real investigation was never “nipped” in the bud when they were younger, so they still say, “no” to various suggestions without much, if any, consideration. I know that both of these relatives’ spouses have had to endure a lot of frustration because their spouses are so stubborn.</p>
<p>I think that is why this thread has bothered me a bit. I think we do our kids a disservice if we raise them to just quickly say “no” to something without really giving it a fair shot. It makes me wonder how difficult they are going to be to live with when they are married.</p>
<p>Maybe because I’m a sciences tour guide that have had people tell me that I’ve literally completely changed how they’re looking at colleges from after my tour and have completely changed their opinion of my school, maybe because when I went somewhere I found my initial impressions were often not the same as later impressions (applying to 4 schools I visited all of them 2 times, once before and once after applying), I just can’t fathom someone making a judgment call from the parking lot and it meaning anything.</p>
<p>You’re example is proof to the saying, “you can’t judge a book by its cover” (or the number of pages it has - which my younger son tried doing before reading his first Harry Potter - now, he gobbles them up). </p>
<p>Letting “first impressions” be the “final decision” is just a bad habit to have… Yes, sometimes further exploration may end up being a “waste of time”. BUT, for every “waste of time” there will be many “pleasant surprises”. And that’s what makes life interesting…</p>
<p>UCDAlum, we had a cow experience this summer also, but a slightly different one. I was sure before we went to visit Cal Poly SLO that we wouldn’t like it, but son loved the laid back, hands-on feeling that he got there - it felt to him like a place where he could really build things instead of just sit in class or in the library studying. We liked the cows, especially when our tour guide, who was an Ag major, told us that the Ag students host big bbq’s with everything, including the tri-tip, produced on campus - and campus-produced ice cream for dessert!</p>
<p>Mathmom, I think that we toured a lot of the same schools as you. My daughter hated everything about CalTech except for the fact that the students could paint anything they wanted on the dorm walls. She thought that was cool.</p>
<p>MarinMom–I want DS to look at Cal Poly. He has an excellent choice here in Seattle, but I think it’s too big, and he’s a very hands-on kind of guy. </p>
<p>We never had a “I don’t want to get out of the car” event, but we DID tour a school that on paper was PERFECT for DD. It was Johns Hopkins. First of all, Baltimore has got to be the most disgusting city in the U.S. I have not been to Detroit, so some may say that’s worse, but it was by far the nastiest, ugliest, most depressing place I have EVER seen. Even dumpy South Bend Indiana was nicer than Baltimore. So we were kind of freaked out/grossed out by the city, and then when we got to campus literally every five minutes there’d be sirens because it is right near a big hospital, and let me tell you there are a lot of people in Baltimore that get rushed to the hospital…anyway the girls leading the tour were uber-preps and spent WAY too much time talking about how everybody at JHU could have gone to Ivies but instead the chose JHU. It was like they were still hacked off that Harvard rejected them. The campus itself was pretty, but way too pristine to be full of college students. It looked like Disneyland or something–like if you walked across the grass you’d be led away in chains. </p>
<p>We both hated it and couldn’t get out of Baltimore fast enough. </p>
<p>The other school she loathed on sight was Reed. I made her go see it–we were in town visiting relatives so it wasn’t a special trip. She hated the self-conscious weirdness of the students.</p>
<p>MarinMom–I want DS to look at Cal Poly. He has an excellent choice here in Seattle, but I think it’s too big, and he’s a very hands-on kind of guy. </p>
<p>We never had a “I don’t want to get out of the car” event, but we DID tour a school that on paper was PERFECT for DD. It was Johns Hopkins. First of all, Baltimore has got to be the most disgusting city in the U.S. I have not been to Detroit, so some may say that’s worse, but it was by far the nastiest, ugliest, most depressing place I have EVER seen. Even dumpy South Bend Indiana was nicer than Baltimore. So we were kind of freaked out/grossed out by the city, and then when we got to campus literally every five minutes there’d be sirens because it is right near a big hospital, and let me tell you there are a lot of people in Baltimore that get rushed to the hospital…anyway the girls leading the tour were uber-preps and spent WAY too much time talking about how everybody at JHU could have gone to Ivies but instead the chose JHU. It was like they were still hacked off that Harvard rejected them. The campus itself was pretty, but way too pristine to be full of college students. It looked like Disneyland or something–like if you walked across the grass you’d be led away in chains. </p>
<p>We both hated it and couldn’t get out of Baltimore fast enough. </p>
<p>The other school she loathed on sight was Reed. I made her go see it–we were in town visiting relatives so it wasn’t a special trip. She hated the self-conscious weirdness of the students.</p>
<p>My daughter visited a small campus and from the center of the quad could see “dumpy upperclassman housing” (private off campus little houses). This became a test for other colleges. She wanted to see something ivy covered in every direction. </p>
<p>Other campus test has been Urban Outfitters within walking distance of campus, although that test went away after her sophomore year, thank goodness.</p>
<p>Mombot, we’ve been to Baltimore many times, but always do the inner harbor area. I think it’s beautiful! Next visit I’ll wander a bit father out to see if I share your impressions. Is JHU far from the inner harbor?</p>
<p>I love this thread because I need a good chuckle these days. Another totally serious comment my S made: What happens if I go to college in a place where there’s no Ikea?</p>
<p>As I was raised in Baltimore I would like to give another opinion of my hometown. Yes, Baltimore has nasty side (as I believe most old cities do), there are neighborhoods I will not venture into during the day. However, there are also lovely areas and a few of of those are the neighborhoods just north of JHU in Homeland, Guilford, and Roland Park. A fact of life in cities is lights and noise…I could not sleep for nights when I first moved to the country, I was used to sirens and street lights. Baltimore is made up of many neighborhoods and is very diverse. If you enter from the north you would not think the city is all nasty and dirty. I am sorry you and your child did not like my city or JHU and I hope he finds the town and college he is searching for.</p>
<p>Like modestmelody, we believed in multiple visits. My DD visited her final two choices numerous times during different seasons before making her decision. My DS visited his original 1st choice a few times, including an overnight. He spent 2 summers at the school he ultimately chose - because he knew it was a better fit.</p>
<p>No Ikea? OMG! Oh well, there’ll always be a Target somewhere.</p>
<p>One of my daughter’s close friends went to France for college and isn’t very happy there for various reasons, including that they only have dial-up in the dorms, and the wireless connection in the student union isn’t very reliable. The Ikea comment reminded me of that, but actually, I think that not having a high-speed internet connection increases his sense of isolation there.</p>
<p>Daughter actually liked more of the schools that we visited than she disliked, but the dislikes make funnier stories. Our worst college visit was somewhat inadvertent. She qualified for the state sci fair, and since there were no hotels available (doctor convention) we stayed at the USC dorms. Daughter isn’t much of a SoCal fan for starters, and USC isn’t exactly in the scenic part of LA, but the science museum park where the fair was held, is beautiful. At the end of the first day we crossed the street to USC and went looking for the dorm. You would think that USC would see the sci fair as a great recruiting opportunity, but no, they put us in what we can only hope was the worst dorm on campus. Hallways and rooms smelled like mold and worse (we had to sleep with the window open, so good thing it was late May), and daughter refused to take a shower because the bathroom floors were so gross. One whiff of our room and she immediately hated USC and everything about it. She was able to turn the experience into a terrific photojournalism essay for her English class, however, so it wasn’t a total loss.</p>
<p>This is a fun thread.<br>
A word to the wise: While they do a lot of 'hands on" learning at Cal Poly, and it is a great school- it is not the small farm school that folks seem to think it is.</p>
<p>All of our college tours have happened because we were otherwise on vacation and I suggested that we take the opportunity to visit school x or y as much to see the variety of places and what college was like as those particular schools. The first tour was especially interesting because my D fell in love, but it wasn’t until the second tour that I was able to tell if she was in love with that first school or with the whole idea of college. I think she did make quick judgments, but she never refused to look. </p>
<p>I guess that if it was a place that I was foisting on her, refusal to see it would really be resentment at my leadership on the issue and fear that I might be wildly enthusiastic about a place she was not willing to consider. If we were making a trip specifically to see schools, she would develop that list and I would expect her to follow-through even if she thought it was a waste of time within a few minutes.</p>
<p>I guess there are as many different approaches as there are kids!</p>
<p>We left the 'burbs 20+ years ago for rather rural areas and when i go visit my D in Berkeley, I am amazed at the street noise- every place she has ever lived seems to have trash pick up daily at 5am…I need the quiet, though I do enjoy the convenience of all the great walk-to restaurants. MY D who attended uni in SoCal has commented on the fact that the one thing she misses is the ability to stop by any store to run any errnad “on the way home” There are so many possible routes home that everything is on the way, whereas all her growing up years, it was a “trip to town” not quite Little House on the Praire, but it seemed close to that. When you live in the country, you just don’t bother with some errands and every trip to town for dumb little things is a big deal.</p>
<p>I agree that all this visiting wasn’t done in the past and is sort of crazy, but I encourage as much of it as possible for this reason: It gave me an excuse to spend a lot of time together with my boy. We took a road trip for 4-5 days and looked at a variety of schools. That was fine, but the great part was driving together, eating together, horsing around and talking in between the school stops. It is my daughter’s turn this year and I can’t wait. I don’t care if she gets out of the car or not; I’m looking forward to driving around with her. If I could think of another good way to trap my 17 year olds in the car with me for 4-5 days on a common mission, I would do that, but I can’t and so selfishly, I won’t be denied visiting these schools. It’s got to be done!</p>
<p>It’s great that you have kids who you want to drive around with for 4-5 days. My daughter was not that kind of 17 year old, I can tell you that!!! I love her like crazy, but her teen years were not easy.</p>
<p>CMBMOM: I, too, really like Baltimore and its environs. Everyone knows to stay out of bad areas of any big city. But Baltimore has some of the most beautiful city areas, especially those that you mentioned. And Towson, is only down the road by about 10 minutes. It is a beautiful town, with great shopping, and good restaurants (Baltimore has even better restaurants!). It is probably closer than some of the bad areas spoken about in Baltimore. Guilford and Roland Park are nothing short of magnificent. And Hopkins borders those beautiful areas, and is, in itself, a beautiful campus, filled with some of the nicest kids I have ever met. I also like that it is a wonderful sports town, filled with exuberance for its teams.</p>
<p>It is true that many Hopkins (JHU) students chose it over ivies. My son is one of those, and he knows plenty of people who have done the same. To those kids, it is no big deal to have done so. I find that kids like these generally have their heads in the right place, and are very secure in their intelligence and their abilities. They would rather be at the best biomed engineering program in the country, or in the #2 writing program, nationally. </p>
<p>I look forward to every one of my visits to the Charm City.</p>
<p>stickershock: Here are some places to visit in Baltimore: Fell’s Point: very quaint with charming streets and shops. Some decent restaurant’s, too. It is right on the water, and very relaxing when the weather is nice. The have brownstones (I think they call them “row houses”), that are rapidly being renovated, and there are tons of young families moving into this neighborhood. Also, empty nesters, from the gorgeous Baltimore suburbs are moving in there, too.
Canton is another quaint, pretty area, with some good restaurants. It is on the water, too. Hampton is another nice area to visit/shop in. And don’t forget to walk through Little Italy. </p>
<p>When you visit Hopkins, take a walk/drive around Guilford and Roland Park, which surrounds the campus. This neighborhood is beautiful. Go to Miss Shirley’s for breakfast in Roland Park. </p>
<p>If you want to know where your child will be shopping for clothing, etc., or where he/she will go just to spend some time at a mall, visit the Towson Town Center, which has all the best shopping, and is 10 minutes away, in Towson. I am not sure if the Hopkins Shuttle takes the kids…but I think so. If not, taxi rides are relatively inexpensive.</p>
<p>Hope this helps. Cmbmom can probably offer you much more. Enjoy the city.</p>
<p>I agree. I loved those days/nights with S1. Now I’m scheduling for S2. Since the teen years go fast and they are a time when communication sometimes stagnates, it’s wonderful to spend one on one with a child on these college visits.</p>
<p>S1 wasn’t that interested (at first) in visiting colleges, but since I think it’s part of my job to expand my kids’ “comfort zone,” I gently pushed for the first trip. Sure, I made sure the trip had some fun elements!!! After that, it was no problem getting him to go…</p>