<p>I'm so unhappy with this school. A lot of my classes have been good, but I just feel a real disconnect with me and the "school." Whether it be the social scene... I'm just not having a fun time, although everyone else seems the be having the time of their lives. The thing is, I'm really involved. I've met a lot of people, but really have not had any lasting friendships. I like to party. Not a big party type kid (I don't mind drinking, but the weekend scene is so heavily frat and club oriented). </p>
<p>Whether the problem is the social scene or not, I still have so many qualms with this school. Being out of state, I really don't see this $40k+ investment being worthwhile. Should I transfer? Plus, I turned down Berkeley for this school because I wanted a "different" kind of college experience, as I come from California.</p>
<p>Wait you like to party but the big parties aren't your thing? </p>
<p>i don't know, do you still want a different kind of college experience? May be you should look at a smaller private school where there are smaller parties and the involvement you are looking for. I think you should do some research. Read about different schools' cultures, just right here on CC. That's how I've learned that I really like the schools. From the testimonials.</p>
<p>Is there any way you could transfer back to Berkeley? I understand the 'wanting a new experience' thing (I live in CA too), but Cal is a great school, and the party scene isn't as prevalent there as it is at Mich. But if this is your first semester, I highly suggest waiting until the end of the year. My brother goes to Cal and wanted to transfer after his 1st semester there (even though it was always his dream school), but he stuck out the year and is now in his 3rd year, and loving every minute of it.</p>
<p>I never was in Berkeley. I had been accepted, but turned it town to go to Mich. I'm in my 2nd sem. here. My first semester wasn't horrible, thanks to some amazing professors, but it wasn't the best. Compared to everyone around me.</p>
<p>What do you mean compared to everyone around you? If you had amazing professors, how do you feel disconnected from the school? Is it because they had a bad football season? You beat Florida! Sorry but seriously, what's really wrong? Do you feel homesick? Why do you want to change, what's the disconnectedness?</p>
<p>OHgiraffe, I agree with PSTU, the first year is not always good. Some love it, others need the adjustment period. It took me 3 trimesters to really appreciate the University and Ann Arbor. My first year at Michigan was actually tepid. But at the end of the Sophomore year, I was hooked. For now, focus on your classes and make an effort on the social front. Good things will happen.</p>
<p>Thank you all so far for the comments. They are all contributing to what will be a new perspective. Thank you all for the advice.</p>
<p>As far as the weather, I love it. The snow and freezing rain is why I moved out of California. I always wanted to go to a University where it snowed.</p>
<p>haha, please keep me posted! I am really interested in your experiences there, given our similar origins. Let me know how you like it in the spring!</p>
<p>@ Sachmoney: Disconnect from me and the social scene, I guess? I feel disconnected because I see everyone and their group of friends, and yet I don't have that. Wow. This is depressing.</p>
<p>And, I was really social in hs. I feel like college has turned me into this awkward loser.</p>
<p>It sounds like you're making an effort - and maybe friendships needs more time to develop. On the other hand, you might be happier at Berkley, and it costs very little to apply so why not apply to transfer and keep your options open?</p>
<p>Have you tried looking into the Greek scene? I mean I'm sure they drink a lot there, but I'm sure you could find somewhere where you fit in, and don't feel pressured to drink a lot. It takes a while to find your place in a university. Then again, I don't go to a university as big as UMich (I want to go there, and I'm prepared for the disparities between UMich and my current school).</p>
<p>Hey I can relate to you. I have my own group of friends, but, even now, I feel out of place. It is hard to find your own niche. But what I am doing is basically what people here are saying. Give it time and try to meet new people.</p>
<p>For an out of state student that doesn't have any 'clicks' yet, it's a great way to
meet new students, and if you pick a club that pertains to your interest, it can be a great way to find people that share your interests.</p>
<p>It's a bit early to consider transferring - I have several friends at U Mich, one transferred to my school because she couldn't stand it, despite my constant advice to get her to stick it out. Sometimes you fit in, and sometimes you don't - it's not necessarily the schools fault, generally, - it's yours. I wish you the best of luck - but I would give it a bit more time, see what happens!</p>
<p>My question to you ~ and I'm not being flippant, is ~ What makes you think it would be better in Berkley?</p>
<p>You need to analyze if one large university would be really different in essence from or better than another, or whether you would be happier in a LAC situation. Or whether what you are going through might be the same elsewhere.</p>
<p>Also (just a shot in the dark to consider) you may have always wanted to be in a place where it snows but some people are affected with a seasonal disorder from lack of sunlight. Coming from California, you just may not know that about yourself. It could be affecting you without your knowing or understanding it.</p>
<p>It takes time for true friendships to form. (Are the people with all of these friends still freshmen? Or are they upperclassmen? There is a difference. Also, did they grow up in the Ann Arbor area? If they did, a lot of their friendships probably started in high school.) During my first year here, I definitely made friends, but I did not trust them extensively until much later. It takes time to form strong bonds with other people, but when they do form, the bonds mean much more if they form though many shared experiences rather than just one or two.</p>
<p>OHgiraffe-hang in there before you decide for sure that you want out. A big school can feel lonely at the onset. Try joining some sort of a club/group. There are tons of them at UofM. My kid (who graduated in in 2006) had joined the Detroit Project and the ski team (now defunct) and it made all the difference. She made close friendships on both and from each group developed a social scene (which snowballed throughout the 4 years) outside of the the Greek scene (which she loved, but tired of pretty quickly). If it's any consolation to you, she found out later that several of her close friends had considered transferring as freshman, but stuck it out and ended up loving UofM. It takes a while to find your niche. It's a big school and therefore it can take longer, but get involved and things will most likely fall into place. </p>
<p>One other thing...I remember when she was a freshman she complained that she thought the school was divided into 2 "types": the Greeks, and the kids who studied all the time and would be in the library on Sat. nights. She was a "work hard-party hard" kind of kid and felt that she didn't fit into either group. She came to find out that there were TONS of kids very much the same. Sometimes in a big school it just takes a little longer to make the right connections. But once you do, you'll make meaningful friendships and your network of social (and academic) opportunities will be limitless. Give it time if you can!</p>
<p>devbee I get what you mean about the "study hard, party hard type," because that's me--albeit a little more studious. Here, I just find really stupid party bunnies, or really studious types who exaggerate how much work they have and who refuse to leave his/her room. </p>
<p>But to mhc's point: I see what you mean exactly. I don't want to go back to Berkeley because it's still a large public school.. but with no snow. The only bonuses it will have, are my high school friends who go there. I also came to Michigan to experience new things, and to not involve myself with the same people I was involved with in hs. Changes in temperature, changes in associating myself within a different region, etc. are drastic changes... and changes that I find so positive. I just feel so segregated/isolated and in a disconnect with the social scene here at UMich. I am involved in about 3 clubs? I like them, but it's still not the best thing on Earth. Maybe it's just large public universities that I do not fill well with? </p>
<p>And, as a side note, I wanted to go to an LAC but was stupid enough to just apply to the really selective ones (Williams, Dartmouth, and Bowdoin--accepted at Bowdoin but disliked it compared to Umich, which I thought was <em>amazing</em> at the time of my visit).</p>
<p>I do want to give UMich time, and a chance... but I don't want to wait until, like, Junior year to start enjoying myself.</p>
<p>If you transfer, you'll have to start all over again too. Trust me, you don't want to do that. I think the best option would be to give UMich more time. If by the end of next semester you hate it even more than you do now, then apply for transfer.</p>