A Princeton alumnus recently contacted me for an interview for my application to the university. I’m really excited, but she said, and I quote, “I typically go to the candidate’s home for the interview. I look forward to hearing from you.” However, I’m just not really comfortable with having her in my home. I’d prefer to do it somewhere a little more public. Am I being disrespectful by telling her this?
Maybe they want to observe you t home. Perhaps there are elements to your application that they are trying to understand. If you try to move it I suspect you will raise suspicion. But I will be curious to hear what others say.
No. Not at all. There are lots of reasons you might have for not being able to have her at your home that have nothing to do with her. I would suggest a neutral site so that you are comfortable with. You could say " Thank you for contacting me, I am eager to speak with you as well but unfortunately I cannot do the interview in my home. I usually do them at Starbucks on X street or X library in Y town. Do either of those work for you?" I am sure she will not mind. Good luck and wish you success
I totally disagree with @center. It’s very reasonable (and safer), to meet in a neutral location. My alma mater instructs us to meet in public places only. I don’t think there is anything suspicious in asking for an alternate location and @readthetealeaves gives good language.
You are not being disrespectful by telling her this. If you are uncomfortable having her to your home, you should respectfully request that you meet somewhere else. Do not tell her that you don’t want her at your house, just request a different location. But you should have a suitable suggestion ready. Perhaps the local public library.
It will do no such thing.
A key principle for the alumni interviewer should be to always be considerate of an applicant’s comfort and safety. It is totally OK for the OP (or any applicant) to suggest an alternative site.
I’m sure there are some Princeton alumni interviewers on this site who will weigh in, but I would be very surprised if interviewing in the applicant’s home is even allowed. I know that my university suggests that the interview be conducted in a public place and that they are not to be conducted in a home - either the applicant’s or the interviewer’s.
No, the interviewers are considered to be ambassadors to the university. We are instructed to conduct the interviews “in a setting agreed upon by you and the applicant. It is essential that the candidate feel safe and comfortable in the space the two of you choose.” Specifically the university states “Please do not interview in your home or the candidate’s home.” Princeton suggests “a coffee shop, the candidate’s school or a public library.”
Understand the spirit of the recommendations. A school interview may not fit the interviewer’s work schedule. The coffee shops in your area may be very loud. A student may have a physical condition where they would prefer a home interview. I interviewed a neighbor in my home after I offered to meet at the library. Make a polite request that the interview be conducted in several specific locations. She may request a location closer to her work or home. Assume that the interviewer has found that home interviews have been productive for her in the past. Stay positive.
Well the interviewer suggested it for some reason.
I’m actually quite surprised that the interviewer even suggested that the interview takes place at the OP’s place. I’ve done interviews for 5 years for another Ivy school and never heard of a single interview taking place at the interviewee’s place. It’s perfectly safe and fine to suggest a neutral place.
This is not Child Protective Services. There no need for the college to have someone observe the applicant in his home.
I actually think it is way out of bounds for the interviewer to suggest this. In fact, the interviewer wasn’t suggesting it, but rather used language to intimate that the applicant would be an outlier if he/she did not agree to the in-home interview. (“I typically go to the candidate’s home for the interview. I look forward to hearing from you.”)
If you feel uncomfortable saying that you’d just rather meet somewhere else, you can say that your family is having extended house guests or your sibling has a drum lesson or your house is undergoing renovations.
After you get your Princeton decision, I suggest you contact the alumni association and the admissions office to inform them.
We have no idea what the OP: applicant submitted . There may be a very good reason that they suggested this. There may not and the alum is a nut. We dont have much info. I find it odd too so I assume there is a reason.
If one of your parents worked from home, was seriously ill, or there was construction going on, you wouldn’t think twice about saying, “I’m sorry, but doing this at my home won’t work.”
Since she’s willing to drive to your place, seems obvious the closest coffee shop isn’t that much out of the way.
So you contact her. Nicely convey your home isn’t available and suggest that quiet coffee shop. Be respectful and polite. But also confident, empowered. Be Princeton.
The interviewer that my daughter was initially assigned from MIT last year was adamant that the interview be done at his house and was offended when my daughter told him she was not comfortable doing so. He accused her of judging him without meeting him. She sent a polite email to the admissions department, they told her it was completely against their policy for interviews to be conducted at the interviewers home, assigned her a new interviewer and she ended being accepted. As long as you are polite, I would not worry about letting them know that you are not comfortable with it.
In my experience, there are always a group of volunteers who want to do it “their way” regardless of university guidelines. It’s totally OK to work around them if you aren’t comfortable and the interviewer wont switch gears.