Hi. So I’m a Junior finishing up my finals week who got mixed up and made some mistakes that won’t ruin my life or anything, but that I feel anxious and embarrassed about and would love some advice on.
I was finalizing my second of two papers due by the “end of the day” yesterday when a friend called me wanting to meet in person about something she felt was really important to discuss. The thing wound up being a non-starter, but it took up about an hour and a half to meet with her, so I didn’t ultimately turn in the paper until 30 minutes after its due date. Yes, I know I should have turned in the paper days beforehand but literally did not have time. I have done really well in that class up to this point and so expect this to bring me down to an overall B at worst.
However, it took me a while to get back into sorts last night and this morning, and I completely forgot about and missed my interview slot this morning for a school tutoring job I was supposed to get next year. I don’t imagine they will give me another chance for that job, though I sent an email explaining the situation to them just in case.
Again, not getting that job and receiving a B in that one class will not seriously ruin the course of my life. It is just freaking me out because these things happened so quickly during an already stressful time and I struggle with some (generally well-managed) anxiety issues beyond this.
Does anyone have advice or suggestions on what to do next either to mitigate the fall-out from the events or move forward?
You need to get yourself organized. Do you use your calendar app on your phone? I even make an alarm set about an hour (or whatever makes sense) before major deadlines. You can set an alarm way in the future by inputting the date in the app.
When I was a manager hiring new college grads, there were two primary personality traits I was looking for; plays well with others and can you work to a schedule. So, not addressing this could seriously affect your job search.
I feel like what’s missing here is time management, if you want to accomplish different tasks/activities then you have use you time properly. This situation will serve as a learning for you in the future. We cannot undo what have passed but we can learn from it. If you missed the said opportunity then look for another one.
It’s also about priorities and decision making. Everything you do is a decision or choice. You are literally choosing A over B. And all those choices have consequences that lead you down a certain path. None of that is bad. It’s just important to be aware of the potential outcome of your actions.
Discuss this with my D all the time as she is a bit (actually quite) scattered / disorganized. Although that may be her natural MO, she can choose to change and become organized. Simple tools like planners help (if she can find them…)
Yes, priorities. Next time, you say “I have a paper due soon. We can talk after I’ve submitted it.” I say this often, but you’re in college to earn a degree. Earning the degree has to take priority.
Is it possible you may have ADHD? Have you ever suspected you might?
I’d seriously considering using something like google calendar and setting up reminder notifications that pop up on your phone. Honestly, everyone at our house except my daughter would be a mess without them. You can set up events for when projects/papers/assignments are due too with periodic notifications about it coming up.
I definitely agree with in the future, social concerns need to take a backseat during finals week. Make a habit of checking e-mailing and updating/checking your calendar every morning or late evening.
I would send an apology e-mail about the interview regardless.
Take a deep breath. This is a small issue in the long run, and will be ok–better to learn now. The normal human brain response to stress is forgetting things; isolated forgetfulness especially in times of stress is not abnormal. So you forgot two things back to back–use it as a little heads-up for yourself in the future: you need to write things down (especially during stressful times like exams) and have a plan to check your to-do list each morning so you do not get off track. And definitely, learn how to just say no to social demands that might pull you off track.
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Read this book: How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. It helps you with things like time management and how to figure out what to write about for a paper, etc.
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Use your smart phone calendar or paper calendar or list of things to do
I had a son of a friend who wanted to ask me for college advice. We made an appt. He had to cancel that appt…and swears he told me, but I had no text/email. I only found out when I texted him I was on my way. Ok…whatever. So a couple of weeks later he asks me if we could reschedule. Sure…and we set up time/date.
So I go to the meeting place and text “I am here…where are you exactly”
A few minutes later I get “I’m so sorry I’m running really late. Is it still ok if I meet you in 20 minutes?”
When he showed up, I said “I am here to give you advice… you forgot, didn’t you?” He looked sheepish.
I said that he needs to learn from this…that if you cancel an appt with someone you have to make sure they respond to you that they got it. If you make appointments, you have to put it in your calendar with reminders.
I also have a Fitbit Charge 2 watch that I can set alarms on.
My DD’s school had a career fair. She was all ready for it, but then it got snowed out. They rescheduled it…and then she totally forgot to go.
- Prioritize
Your friend said they “had to see you”…but sometimes you need to prioritize your stuff first. “I have to get this paper in and then I could talk to you.”
- Honor your promises
One time in college we had this Circuits 3 project…over the semester we had been building the components of an AM radio. The final project was put them all together and make them work. I told my lab partner that I would get him a six pack if he would do it (I forget why I couldn’t be there)…he did…but I did not follow through (as I was underage and it would have been a bit of effort). Since I reneged, he handed me the pieces and said I could finish it for my part.
Ever since then I have learned that A) Don’t make promises you can’t keep b) Keep your promises
One of my four tenets of living a successful life (and they’re so basic) is to:
Do what you say you are going to do (no matter what). So I’m going to meet someone at noon, I’m going to walk the dog before work, I’m going to bring my lunch today. I’m going to workout this evening… You get the point. If you say it, do it. You’ll become dependable to others and they will respect you.
BTW the other three are:
- Be on time (early)
- Say Please and Thank You
- Finish what you start
you do those four things consistnatly and you’re way ahead of the pack.