OP and parents really need to have the money talk. they might be thinking about decimating their nest egg for the school they think their child deserves, willing to sacrifice for the good of their child, with the best of intentions – but 20 years down the road, what if the financial sacrifice they make now leaves them destitute and dependent on their child for their support? no, that’s not a good situation for anyone.
it may be the best for everyone involved if OP can get the best value deal possible from a “lesser” school, and parents parlay the $200-250K they are willing to spend for “Elite U” into a comfortable retirement. there will be at least a few good schools willing to open their wallets for a student of this caliber. instead of completing for the most prestigious school, maybe it’s a better idea to compete for the most prestigious scholarship and program from a quality U that is lower-ranked.
my NMF nephew stayed in-state to attend West Virginia – they actually paid him to go there – and he landed a great job. my high-stats nieces attend Ohio State and Miami of Ohio, and are loving the experiences and opportunities they are finding there. believe it or not, lots of students go to NC State and Alabama and Michigan State and go on to lead rewarding, productive, prosperous lives.