OP assuming that you will get accepted to elite schools and you do not qualify for financial aid, you and your parents need to be ready to pay full price. Elite schools don’t provide merit base aid. Definition of elite is very different for different people. For someone it is only HYPSM. Someone would think that full ride to UA is elite. So you and your family would have to determine how much you can pay or how much of the “prestige factor” you are willing to sacrifice.
Not my definition of elite 
but definitely my definition of a great UG opportunity and experience. But we also live in a reality where $$ definitely limits choices. Our kids are expected to live in that same reality.
@scotlandcalling I asked several colleges this question. I was primarily concerned with doomsday economic scenarios and a change in family financial circumstances. Yes, you can still apply for parent and student loans if your situation changes even if you don’t “check the box.” We didn’t apply for financial aid. My daughter’s college will also let you apply for institutional aid (grants and the like) after two years. Some colleges allow after one year and other colleges will never let you apply for institutional aid. Each college has its own rules. However, loans can be done at any time in the process. In fact, even after admission, we were emailed by the financial aid office making sure we didn’t want to apply for financing or need any assistance.
Sorry for the poor edit. '…One might wonder though what the more elite college degree might have mattered regarding first job offer, subsequent career, grad school, business connections, etc. I am proud my daughter is a NCSU. But I’m not pretending it’s MIT. Or that Vermont and Miami of Ohio are Brown and Yale.
Mom2aphysicsgeek says that $$ limits choices, which is absolutely true.
OP says ‘the problem is that my parents feel that I should be attending an elite, private university for my college experience to be worth it and the majority of the colleges I’ll be applying to do not grant merit-based aid.’ And ‘unlike most people posting here, they are willing to pay for me but in order to do so it will difficult.’
Sounds to me like parents are willing to pay for the most ‘elite’ school he can get in. Parents know more about their financial situation than a 17 year-old. (OP is a wonderful and considerate child, that’s for sure). What’s the conversation in the house going to be when OP turns down a slot to Ivy or near-Ivy and goes instead to an OOS public for nearly free? Yes, yes, it’s the OP’s choice. And OP can save parents tens of thousands of dollars. But is that gift to parents what they really want? Isn’t OP’s reason for choosing a cheaper school for their benefit?
What do you want to major in? Are you strictly liberal arts, or are you more interested in a career in a STEM field? From what I have read on this board, pre-med students need top grades, but not top schools - they should save the money for medical school (the undergrad doesn’t matter as much as the GPA to med schools) - if you are interested in going on in Business Consulting, and working for a top firm such as BCG, they want to hire students who have been to an Ivy, as this helps them with clients (“our staff is Ivy educated.”) If you are interested in engineering, there are a number of engineering schools recommended over Ivy’s, as they are more affordable, and it doesn’t really matter after your first job.
I know of a few families who wanted their kids to go to Ivy’s because of the bragging rights - one couple would repeatedly put down the schools other students were applying to. Ugh. Ultimately, there are schools which are right for you, not your parents, and which might be Ivy League, or might be elsewhere.
Note that “liberal arts” includes science and math (the S and M in STEM).
- Sit down with parents and find out exactly how they are willing, and able, to pay for your entire college bill.
- Find out their definition of elite college. For it is only HYPSM, or the Ivies, or Top 20 Unis or LACs. If they are expecting a Top 20 college, that may not happen, even with your stats. Are they willing to pay just as much for CMU or JHU as for Harvard or Stanford?
- Make sure they understand the more merit an individual student gets, the less elite the college.
- Even if they are willing to spend way more than you think they should, consider that maybe more than anything, what they want to give is the best college education they can afford. It will pay off in financial and other ways throughout your entire life. It’s not just about them bragging where their kid went. It’s what is best for you.
But it may be worse for both them and you if their financial situation becomes bad enough that they end up being financially dependent on you when they retire.
Hmm…depends on the school. I happen to think that Duke and Vandy are pretty elite schools…and they give merit aid to a select few students. UVA has Jefferson Scholars…and UVA certainly is considered to be an elite school by most folks.
Okay, one could turn down full-pay at Harvard and go to Duke with merit. Maybe there is elite and there is ‘elite’. Don’t know that I’d pin my college hopes on getting merit from a tip-top school, though.
I give the parents some credit in considering college costs with their retirement income. Doubt they’ll be living in OP’s basement.
To everyone’s relief, I am done posting on this thread. Good luck to OP.
Honestly I’m a homer here but smu offers a fair amount of president scholarships (full ride) every year. Something near 40 and they go to students that fit in your category. It would definitely be a school to look into