<p>If money were not an object, each of my kids would probably have chosen to attend a different school than the one they attended. However, I would not have “sent” my kid to a different school. My kids had a choice, given the parameters of what we could/would spend … if money were not an object, they MIGHT have CHOSEN to attend a different school. We’ll never know, of course. And they are just fine as it is.</p>
<p>If money had been MORE of an factor for my first 2 kids, they would’ve gone to cheaper schools. Since we sent the first two to the most expensive schools on their lists, money then became much more of a factor for the next two kids–who are taking full rides at a school they wouldn’t have considered except for the scholarships. It is all working out, so far.</p>
<p>@atomom I will never forget what one of the friends of S1 said-kind of joking but it came true. His parents sent the older brother to an expensive private (Vanderbilt at full pay) because he just wanted to get out of town (and we are in Virginia so he had many great options). The friend said that he knew he’d end up at a state school (but he said it in a funny way) because his parents had blown all of their money on his brother! That’s exactly what happened . </p>
<p>Sort of what is happening to my younger kids, too. No resentment so far. The oldest two have been cut out of our will… :)</p>
<p>That is great, atomom. Glad there is no resentment. I don’t remember tons of old conversations vividly but the one with this friend’s mother still stands out years later. The kids were good friends ( and still are ) but the mom and I were acquaintances because of our kid’s sport. I casually asked the mom at a game how her son liked Vanderbilt. She proceeded to go on a rant about how she could not believe they were paying over 40000 a year for Vanderbilt when the kid could have gone to UVa at less than half that and that even the kids on his floor at Vanderbilt were telling him he was an idiot! It was so funny that I still remember it. My S1 did seem to take away something from his friend’s situation when it came time to apply to schools. He was a viable candidate for top ten schools but decided to apply to UVa ED ( for 2005 they still had that). The two privates he had an interest in would have been much more expensive and this was before the more middle class initiatives( we are in that middle area -not at all poor but also not wealthy) that some schools initiated. I encouraged him to apply anyway and we would see what happened. But he wanted to apply ED somewhere and we told him he could only do that with a state school. One of the last things he said right before he pushed the ED button for his state school was that he wanted to be fair to his younger brother. I was very proud of him for taking his brother into consideration. I thought at the time and still do,that UVa really was the best fit for him , despite being ranked lower than the other two schools. Things have a way of working out many times.</p>
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<p>They might down the road… this happened in my family, and I (youngest, only girl. and strongest stats by far of the 3 kids in our family) got the short end of the stick. I still harbor some resentment 30+ years later. </p>
<p>I still have 3 younger kids now in elementary thru high school. So they will be able to spread the resentment around. . . But I hope there won’t be too much “harboring” in the future. (I still sort of resent the fact that H let the oldest kid turn down the full ride and go to the full pay school. It was not MY idea.)</p>
<p>Seems like parents with multiple kids may want to figure out how much they can budget for each kid’s college (with accounting for inflation) before telling the oldest one what their parental contribution will be.</p>
<p>@ucbalumnus I do believe most parents still do that. It’s easy to be carried away with the first due to lack of experience and the idea that the dream school must be the “right” school. I’ve found in my circle though, most aim for equal budgets for both kids. It’s the reason why we told D she couldn’t go anywhere that required us to take a parent loan. If we took out a loan for her, then her little brother would be screwed when his time came.</p>
<p>Yes, we wanted to be very fair in treating the kids equally in terms of what we would contribute. We were very clear with both kids what we would pay and we also expected equal contributions from them . We were full pay (at their state schools) and did expect them to contribute some to their education, in terms of minimal student loans. Second kid paid a little more than his older brother but that was based on inflation since they were 4 years apart. I think they have come away thinking they were treated fairly and equally, and that was the goal… </p>
<p>DD might have been able to consider additional schools had money not been a factor. Whether she would have actually applied, then been accepted, and gone is a different matter. I think DD’s school is a good match for her. If money weren’t a factor, she could fly home at Thanksgiving. Not sure if she will be able to fly home over Spring Break or what will happen over summer of 2015 if she works out that way.</p>
<p>My D went with the best financial offer, but the school was in her top 3 anyway and it has turned out to be a perfect fit. My S definitely would have made a different choice if money was not a factor, but now he is excited about going - I pray that it turns out to be as positive an experience for him as it has been for his sister.</p>
<p>My kids would be able to consider additional schools if money were not a factor. As it is, the Ivy League, and all non-merit granting schools (except for state schools) are out of the question. Elite schools that offer merit are on the table, but they not only would have to be accepted, they’d have to win the merit money lottery.</p>
<p>No, we would not. D. was applying to combined bs/md programs. She was accepted to 3. She choose the one that was at the UG that she actually liked and the program was more flexible than others and it happenned that this UG gave her full tuition Merit award. Nobody in a right mind would turn these “all in one” package down. Having UG for free made is possible for us to pay for her Med. School. The competition for the spots at bs/md programs is huge everywhere, D’s program had only 10 spots for incoming freshman. Well, somebody might say, that going to state public is not a huge accomplishment. D. is saying even now, 3 years later that it was the best place for her UG, exceeded our expectations greatly. </p>
<p>Yes definitley for one of my kids who is at a State U, even though he likes it probably would have made a different choice. With the oldest, I think he ended up at the right place, but he may have picked a comparable school that did not offer any merit. It is hard to imagine being in a financial situation that would have left that much money on the table for a school that was comparable in all ways but location!</p>
<p>I don’t know. S1 applied to three academic matches, was accepted at all three and just graduated from his financial safety. He got a job right away and is doing well. S2 will be entering the same school next week, although I tried to get him to attend a much smaller religious LAC where he could have gotten a lot of fin. aid. I think I might have encouraged them to apply to top schools for their majors (especially S1), but we did the best we could with what was available and affordable, and so far I have no complaints. </p>
<p>As I have written before, money was a huge factor for us, and ultimately determined the choice of the local CC followed by a decent in-state public U. Had money not been a factor, there would have been many more options available for freshman applications or for transfer applications after attending the CC. So yes, the application list(s) would have looked completely different, and the choice of institution(s) to attend would almost certainly have been different.</p>
<p>Do we have regrets? Only in the most abstract sense. Happykid has a strong career network, good professional contacts, is working steadily in her field (theatre tech/design), and has good friends from the CC and the state U. Despite having to go the cheap route, things have turned out very, very well.</p>
<p>Yes, DS would have went to a LAC in Southern California. We were both really smitten with the Claremont schools.</p>
<p>Money made him choose Alabama. This was the BEST decision in hindsight because he choose Engineering Major which seems to be a great fit. If he would have went the LAC route, he likely would not have found a career path so early.</p>
<p>We are not ultra wealthy, but comfortable enough that money was a non-factor. So our kids went to the colleges which were the best fit for them.</p>
<p>No. The school my son is attending is the school he liked best after visits, the best fit academically and the most convenient for getting home easily. Even if it hadn’t been the one with the best aid offers (both merit and NB), he probably still would have chosen it.</p>