I just came back from a gut-wrenching performance. My girl sang a beautiful solo (in French) that left her mother in a pool of tears. This is a partial translation of the French song:
My dear parents, I’m leaving.
I love you, but I’m leaving.
You won’t have a child anymore
Tonight.
I’m not fleeing, I’m flying.
Try to understand, I’m flying.
Without drugs, without alcohol
I fly, I fly.
Do not turn around.
Get a bit farther away.
There’s in Gard another station,
And finally the Atlantic.
I ask myself on my path
If my parents suspect
That my tears are flowing
Along with my promises to myself
And the desire to move forward.
Just believe in my life,
In its promise.
It’s strange, this cage
Around my chest.
I can’t breathe anymore!
I can’t sing!
I’m flying, I’m flying.
As if to make it more poignant, she carried a suitcase and wore the trench coat she had on while we were touring boarding schools for interviews. Oh she knows how to pull on those heart strings of mine! The theater was full but I felt she was singing for me. I don’t know how you BS parents do it. You must be saints! I am so not looking forward to seeing her go…
I am not going to lie, @goatmama. That first year is very, very tough: on parents. But then you see them grow, and learn, and improve as people, and it gets better. I promise.
@london203 is lying. It doesn’t get better. I missed my kid more each year, and now that hole in my heart is big enough to throw a basketball through. If I had known he was going to choose the military, I’m not sure I would have allowed him to leave for BS at 14.
Oh my. If my daughter had done that, I might be home schooling her now. ChoatieMom speaks truth. But it is really, really good for the kids. Just hold onto that.
Yep. I have a son in the military too and he’s not all that far away, but we see him twice a year and that’s it. I cry every time we say good bye. That sounds like such a beautiful song. Brought tears to my eyes just reading the post.
@6teenSearch is on point. I’m not so sure anymore what news I wish to receive on M10. I think I may be seriously overestimating my readiness for all this. Ugh. This aspect is way harder than writing parent statements and keeping application spreadsheets.
I lived the first three years across the country from my oldest while he attended school. I missed out on so much. When it became apparent that my younger 2 would be attending the school as well, I moved. I live about 25 minutes away and the kids board on campus. For us this works. I attend all their sports games my schedule allows and have them home for dinner almost every Sunday. This isn’t a perfect solution as my husband commutes- but it is the best scenario for us.
vegas1 - do your children appreciate having you near by? Is that something they wanted as well? Part of what appeals to DS is the independence and the idea of being away on his own and knowing he can do well. If I had it my way, I would buy a small cottage near BS also but I don’t want to give DS the message that I don’t trust him.
CLNMOM - when we moved my kids were adamant that I not live to close that they have to be day students. Our town is a choice town ( day or boarder). My kids have total independence. I don’t think it is a trust issue at all. My kids love having a friendly face on the sidelines, they love seeing their pets on a weekly basis, being brought replenishment snacks and not schlepping across the country during breaks. I have mastered the art of being a hands off parent while allowing them to still have the comfort of home. My son never sleeps at home during the school year- but loves cooking dinner on Sunday nights. My daughter stays at home at least once monthly as well as has her friends from school sleep over. She likes me to run her to get birthday gifts for her friends etc. I let them dictate the schedule-
@vegas1 Not sure why they didn’t want to be day students. Its the best of both worlds. My kids are at school until very late every single night and they are there on weekends. They still have a family life, a town life, and a school life and are just as independent as boarders. They will have plenty of time to sleep away from home during years 18-100 of their lives… I’m glad we can still be together now as a family from years 14-18 and still give them a challenging education. Isn’t that what BS is all about? Giving kids a challenging education, experiences with kids from all over the world, close relationships with teachers, excellent sports and EC programs, etc… I don’t think the ‘sleeping away from home’ part is the big draw of BS - I think its the hardest part actually, and so do most of you from what I’m reading on this thread.
For my kid residing away from home part is the main thing of BS. “Challenging education, experiences with kids from all over the world, close relationships with teachers, excellent sports and EC programs, etc” are less important things that are available elsewhere as well. For one thing, we don’t give her an order. It has been like that for a long time. She thinks she is already old enough to leave the nest for good.
Our parents-child relationship has already been changed into more like a friendship over recent two years. We love each other. Doesn’t mean that we should be able to hold hands daily. We can still see each other using technology. We all have our own life plans.
ChoatieMom speaks truth. But it is really, really good for the kids. Just hold onto that.