I’ve been taking guitar lessons since I was 11 years old and I want to study Popular Music in college. My grades are eh. Most of my music classes have at least 80s in them. My academic classes last year until the third trimester of the school year were all A’s and B’s. Last summer I did Berklee College of Music’s 5 Week Performance (now Aspire) Program and the summer before, I did Guitar Sessions. I decided to do regular action instead of early action. I do ensemble work outside of school and I made a list of all the ensembles I’ve done and sent that in. The first trimester of this school year was rough and the second trimester has been rough due to medication issues and the guidance counselor (who wrote my letter of recommendation) screwed up my schedule a few different times this school year and when I talked to her about it she told me I was the issue. I’m in Special ED classes due to my depression and anxiety and learning disorder. My Berklee 5 Week grades weren’t stellar but they weren’t failing either. I got a D in an ensemble because the teacher didn’t understand I had a learning disorder, I was taking 22 classes a week (most classes were 2 hours) and it was a lot for me at the time. During the third trimester of last school year I had an ex who sexaully assaulted me and took advantage of me sexaully and he’d trick me into thinking we were in a relationship when we really weren’t and I had zero support from the school social worker as well as my old thearpist who started working at the school. My nana passed a year ago and it has been very hard for me emotionally to deal with. Outside of my school, my ensemble director, an old SPED teacher and my guitar teacher wrote me my letters of recommendations which were very well written. I met with my enrollment officer recently and explained the D in the ensemble, my awful third trimester grades and my not so great first trimester grades and the ongoing meditation issues and lack of support in my life from friends and thearpists. She was very happy I came and explained all that to her since admissions will be asking her why certain grades are why they are the way there are. I don’t know how to sight read and the song I’m doing only has 4 chords. I just am super nervous.
I also forgot to add that I had no IEP accommodations while I was down there.
You probably have good reason to be nervous - you don’t know how to sight read, your audition song has 4 chords and you’re applying to one of the most popular music programs in the country. All the grades and personal stuff don’t really matter so much for admission to Berklee but you do need to be able to handle their program as a musician as well as impress them with your talent/training. Do your best this year but if you don’t get accepted and it’s still your goal, maybe take a year to study music - learn more theory, learn to sight read, work on your audition materials. That way you can be less nervous next year because you’ll be better prepared for the challenge. Good luck!
Do you have applications in to other schools? Are you applying only to BM programs with popular music? Have you considered BA programs without auditions, where you can develop over time without this stress?
Wherever you go, summer or year-round, try to provide documentation of your depression, anxiety and especially learning disorder. Register with the disabilities office and provide a list of accomodations you need (you can research or an MD or therapist can do this, or the neuropsych. who diagnosed you).
Plenty of people do fine in a music career without going to Berklee. I hope that takes away some stress. You may get in but make sure you are in a position to be okay if you don’t.
Good luck and best wishes for your health!
I have a solid background of music theory and jazz but I don’t want to study jazz and there’s just so much stress going on in my life. I got into UMaine Augusta with no audition. It’s a pop punk tune I’m doing.
My guitar teacher was a jerk to me two weeks ago and threatened to put a knife into the table if I made one more mistake on sight-reading. I know how to read music but sight-reading is a struggle due to my learning disorder.
Thank you for the well wish!
Apply to Berklee. Take your shot. But consider also the merits in not just the most famous place for everyone, but the best place for YOU. Your personal health, well-being and happiness are far more important. What settings can provide that for you? I’ll bet it’s more than 1 place.
Also, stop a minute and name 10 great popular musicians you really respect… No matter who you named, it’s prettly likely that most of them didn’t go to Berklee!
I’ve been thinking a lot about failure and success. It seems most success looks like this: Fail, Fail, Fail, Fail, Fail, minor success, Fail, Fail, Fail, Fail, BIG FAIL, Fail, SUCCESS! And then you own success. So, don’t worry so much about failure.
Be happy and healthy. Good luck!
Great post philmusic…
I echo the sentiments from others above and would like to add… what you shared above sounds like a very unsupportive teacher at the very least and bordering on assault depending on the circumstance. Did the teacher actually have a knife on him/her and gesture with it? I would certainly talk about this with another supportive adult you have access to and seriously consider changing your teacher (at the very least).
All the best to you. Good luck!
He had knvies in his kitchen but never brought one over.
He had knvies in his kitchen but never brought one over.
You need to get away from that teacher. Is it possible for you to find another one who understands your challenges (and doesn’t make threats of violence!!)?
Yeah but my parents don’t really want me to get another teacher. They aren’t a fan of that idea.
Do they know about the knife threat?
Imcalledhaley,
You mention that you have learning disabilities. You mentioned your grades were not great for Berklee 5 week. And then you say that this was because you found the schedule to be very intense and also you had no IEP accommodations when you were at Berklee in the summer. I happen to be a special education advocate and I have mostly worked with teens and their parents. I am assuming you have a current IEP. Have you met with your IEP team and talked about transition? When you attended Berklee 5 week were they aware of the program and what it required? I hope you are aware that if you are over 15 you are a member of your IEP team and your voice matters. If you feel somebody is not being supportive of you or if you feel they are not meeting your needs you need to speak up
But let’s talk about your next steps. First you do not mention why you want to go to Berklee and what you hope to do after attending. Do you want to perform? Create Music? Work in the industry? Teach?
Second you need to understand that once you graduate from high school there will be no IEP. Berklee in their summer program is not required to follow your IEP but they are required to provide reasonable accommodations for you under section 504 of the law. Accommodations can be things like a reduced course schedule and untimed exams. A university or college will not automatically give you accommodations you will have to learn to advocate for yourself and this skill is something that your IEP team should be working with you on as part of a transition plan
Third Berklee might not be the right place for you at this time. University of Maine might be a better place for you to gain confidence and skills while you learn to manage your mental health and advocate for yourself with your learning disability. Berklee will always be there. Students who attend Berklee range in age from 18 and up. Many international students are in their 30s. If you were to go to Berklee and struggle it would be harder than if you go somewhere where you can build your confidence and skill set and then show up at Berklee ready to take advantage of everything it has to offer.
Remember life is not a race. College is a beginning not an end point. But you want to start college (especially because it is so expensive) with has many tools and skills as possible so you can get the most out of it. If you go off to college and get so overwhelmed and stressed that you find you are not going to classes and you are not keeping up with the material than you are just throwing money away.
Take a deep breath. Definitely go through with your audition at this point because it will be a good experience for you. But treat it as a rehearsal and try to just enjoy the experience and not focus on admission. Because at the end of the day if you do not get accepted it could be a blessing in disguise. (Said by a mom whose son is now employed by the University that rejected him for undergrad…he had LD and mental health issues).