<p>My EA is due soon for Stanford and someone that recently checked it told me I wasn't SERIOUS enough in the essays and I should redo them.
Hold up.
I've bled and shed tears over these essays and they absolutely sound like me.
The few I've asked to read it loved it.
I like it.
And it's not like I spent the whole essay writing blatant puns or jokes at all. They were straight-from-the-heart essays that represent me, though I do have a tendency to sound (what was the word she used?) "cute" at times.<br>
So they weren't angst essays or something like, "this is my 20 step plan for success", or "this is what is wrong with my community and this is how I plan to change it" essays. Is that wrong?
Should I change everything and try to sound more "serious" at the risk of losing my voice in my essays?</p>
<p>I'd say no. As long as it's your voice and not forced goofiness, you should be fine. At the same time, make sure that there is both substance to the essays and an underlying thread of maturity, even with the jokes.</p>
<p>No. The most important thing in the essay is to sound "alive". A lot of students kill their voice by revisions aimed at sounding more profound and sophisticated. Don't do it.</p>
<p>Thanks!
But it was the advice of an ex-admissions officer from Bekeley though. So I can't help but wonder if she had a point with it being too "cute". However, I do realize that's only one person's opinion, so I'd still torn.</p>
<p>No!
First of all, are you trying to go to Berkeley? No? Then quit worrying about it. I just started at Stanford and one of my essays was definitely the antithesis of seriousness. As long as your essays are sincere, stop worrying about them.</p>
<p>I stand by my advice, HOWEVER...</p>
<p>if the person who read your essay was an ex-admissions officer, I would be a little more careful about completely dismissing her opinion. It could be that she just has a different taste, and did not appreciate your essay (but your admissions officer will). Or it could be that the essay is bad, and she was trying to tell you that without hurting your feelings.</p>
<p>I think you should ask your English teacher (or another trusted and competent adult) to read it, and give you their honest opinion.</p>
<p>I figure it should be perfectly fine to have an informal tone for some of the essays, especially the "note to roommate" :D</p>
<p>I actually had the opposite problem...When I first wrote some of my essays, they were said to be too serious!</p>
<p>As soon as I read the first sentence, I thought you were one of my friends: his letter to a future roommate was hilarious, for one of the short answers asking about the most important events in the past year, he put the release of Halo 3 -- he inserted clever humor throughout all of his short answers/essays. The content indicated maturity, but his execution made it enjoyable. And when he discussed it with his counselor and language arts teacher they both told him not to change a thing because that's just who he is: his voice really came through in his essays.</p>
<p>If you really feel like your essays are well-written and reflect you, then don't change that.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! Actually, my teacher DID look at it, however, the ex-admissions officer explained that it was a good ESSAY, just not a good personal statement because it wasn't about some activity I've done. ><" Are personal statements supposed to be so formulaic?</p>
<p>My personal statement is about a friend of mine, whom I've watched grow through the years. It's more of a narrative than any of the "Person who has inspired you" essays I've read (and there have been a lot), but my English teacher said that it was solid. </p>
<p>The point of the personal statement is to convey something about you. That "something" isn't always conveyed through an activity (though theoretically, the activities you choose reflect who you are). </p>
<p>My rationalizing for not writing about an activity was that it shows through in many of my Short Answers (by the way, did anyone else find those extremely difficult) and the 150-words-describing-an-activity.</p>
<p>
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the ex-admissions officer explained that it was a good ESSAY, just not a good personal statement because it wasn't about some activity I've done.
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</p>
<p>In that case, don't change it. I think UCs ask for a more formal "personal statement", but Stanford definitely does not. If it reflects who you are, and is fun to read -- you're done.</p>