We spend too much of our day/life at work to hate it. Punishment is no better feeling than guilt!
You could always just trial not working at your current job. Don’t call it retirement. I know I personally have a aversion to the word “retirement”. After not working there for a bit see how you feel.
No offense to anyone but one thing I dislike is everyone saying “don’t worry you will LOVE retirement!” Well, that’s for me to decide - you are not me!
If you do stop working where you are, in addition to helping your parents and working on your ministry, is there something you’d like to do for your own pleasure? A personal interest just for you ? If you stop working there should be some personal enjoyment perks to look forward to - even if that is just longer morning walks, or daily coffee and newspaper time.
That would apply if putting up with an unpleasant situation is necessary for some reason. You have not mentioned anything that this job is necessary for (money, medical insurance, career advancement, helping others who are important to you, etc.).
@greenbutton , you have just provided a more than adequate litany of why you should leave this job. It doesn’t deserve your time!
Now…if you feel, after getting your footing and giving some time to what matters to you that hasn’t had time so far, that you want to leave the worls of full time employment on a higher note, you can find another job. I have a handful of friends who have made serious job moves very late in their careers for precisely that reason. They felt that having invested so much of their lives in their professional endeavors that they didn’t want to leave the workforce feeling the way they did about work and themselves in it.
But getting yourself into a better situation is not quitting. It is taking care of yourself!
My personal experience is pretty dated but I’m guessing this might help to keep in mind: If/when you leave this current job and take a break from working for pay give yourself 1-2 years minimum to adjust. This is a super duper big life change and these things take time to adjust to and see if if it works for you or not and whether another major change might be necessary.
Transitions are often difficult. Oh, I remember the last few days before leaving college as being really hard… even though my boyfriend (who’s been husband for past 37 years) was headed to the same company / town as me. All turned out OK, so sometimes I look back on that memory for inspiration.
I chose to leave a toxic work environment a little more than three years ago. I needed to take a breather and get some balance in my life. I fully intended to get another job after a couple months. H was retired, but I really didn’t think I wanted to retire yet. Then my in laws needed us, and Covid hit, and my granddaughter was born … somewhere along the line, I stopped wanting to get a job. We found that we spent less money than we thought we’d need, and I found that I didn’t have a desire to be stuck working when I want to do other things. For me, leaving turned into retirement, although I could take on some part time work in the future, I suppose … but I’m not feeling like it at this point. My advice is to leave your job & see how you feel. If you feel like getting another job after you leave, do it. If you like not working, don’t work. If you decide not to work, but later decide you want to work, then work again. But ditch the job that makes you unhappy, and go from there.
Life is too short to spend time doing work you don’t find fulfilling and rewarding. I will be 60 next year and given how my “career” had been going, I seriously thought about just retiring when my then boss did. I was miserable. One of my favorite lunch activities was reviewing Indeed to see what other opportunities might be out there - and one day I saw one where I had no direct experience but thought I might have other skills that would transfer. It sounded interesting. I applied and I now have the job. If you’re not sure about retirement, look and see what’s available in the job market. I have been in your shoes career wise and it’s not a fun place to be.
I’m not sure what is confusing,so let’s reframe the question : why would a 60 yr old person with no career track and substandard pay NOT be at least considering leaving work? The chances of being paid for meaningful work at my age, as a new hire, are pretty slim, so it is stay in this job another 4-5 yrs or leave for volunteer/personal work.
My previous job was the one I expected tohave until I was 65 or older. Unexpected changes closed that choice, so I found this job since I was not at all ready to stop earning money. But this job kinda sucks, and I have other things I would rather be doing if only I had those 35 hrs a week back. (I worked 40 hrs/wk until this fall, when I asked to reduce my hours to attend to various family)
Convincing myself to “jump, and the net will appear”. Maybe asking myself tobe 100% okay and comfortable is asking too much.
I retired at age 60 from a job I really loved. I didn’t work for pay for a full year after I retired. Then I was offered some long term leave positions, which I started to do. And I liked those!
I volunteer in a number of places, and really had to learn to say no when asked to do additional things.
Do what is right for you @greenbutton . I’m quite sure you will find plenty of positive things to fill your time. It doesn’t sound like your job is/was a positive thing at this point. So…take a “leave” from working…and then reconsider what you want to do. You may find a perfect part time job that will be fulfilling and fun for you to do.
@greenbutton I think your post was clear. And some people will relate to this and others won’t!
If you had a job you liked more - pay aside - would staying at the job or retiring/stopping work sound more appealing???
Is your job now with the same company/org that your previous job that ended? Would you consider finding another job that just provided some enjoyment, had you going to a purposeful job daily or a few days a week (again pay aside)??? Like @sabaray mentioned have you browsed through Indeed or similar to just see what’s out there? (I’d wait until the start of the year to do that much because I think this time of year employers often wait till after the holidays).
You are lucky to be in a position where the money is not a primary concern - and I think you realize that. So next comes your happiness - and home/life needs. Nothing wrong with WANTING to keep working. Are you feeling guilty because your H will still be working?
I thought you are a bit ambivalent about leaving this job, but wasn’t sure it’s a toxic environment or something else. If you don’t need the money then go.
Oh, I definitely feel guilty bc DH will still be working…but he has said over and over that he would like to see me do something that is purposeful,and not pointless, whether or not I get paid.
So many of you have said you found other jobs, and at our general age that surprises me. I am easily twice the age of most of my coworkers, and they see me as the cautionary tale of “see what could happen to you if you don’t make strategic choices in career path?!” My soft skills are unimportant, my hard skills are not utilized. Maybe I will go work in a bakery (wonder if my knees could hold up!) , there’s a dream job
If you aren’t happy with your current situation, make a change and keep making changes until you are happy. Given the support of your spouse and your financial security you have earned the guiltless and active pursuit of happiness.
Enjoy the ride because destinations are always changing😀.
@greenbutton , dig a little deeper on what’s making you feel guilty. It sounds not just that DH is working but that you are walking away from this with no other reason than it’s miserable. What makes you think that’s not a great enough reason?
You are not being used well in your life - seeking a better outlet for your gifts is a great reason, even if that’s not quite defined yet.
Bakery? Go for it! Seriously some people need to be in a serious profession till their last day of work and some people really love getting paid a fair $ for a job that makes them happy. I always say when I leave my job I want to go work at Trader Joe’s stocking shelves or giving samples or whatever- only problem is our town doesn’t have one!
Assuming you are on CC because you have a least one child - would your advice to them be to stay in a job that makes them miserable? It a family member.
Sometimes we need to work on accepting we can be of value - and happy - outside of a paycheck.
I was a pharmacist for the state for 29 years. I loved my job and I was good at it. The job ended because the facility closed. The last few years were tough between the downsizing and Covid. My plan was to take my pension (which includes health benefits) and take 6 months off and find a part time job. In the meantime, my dad died. One of the investments I inherited generates a monthly income so between that and my pension (and my kids having graduated college and grad school) we are fine financially. But at 58 I have a hard time saying I am “retired”. I find it easier to say “I am not working right now”. It has been 18 months and I think I am used to it. Between tennis and my grandkids and I having so much fun!
