Impossible Decision: Lawrence vs. Earlham

College Search & Selection
1

This whole experience (first kid to college) has played out like a season of Survivor…and only 2 remain! I never knew it would be this difficult! Everyone kept saying the overnight visit would make things crystal clear and…well…it didn’t!

Rather, S18 had nearly made up his mind to attend Earlham because on paper, academically, it is clearly the best choice for him as someone whose two main interests are Japanese and music (one caveat: I realize Lawrence has a better music program, but my son is largely self-taught and not “conservatory” material.) That said, among conservatories, Lawrence seems pretty laid back and they have many courses and opportunities open to non majors. They actually have a BA in music that he could possibly strive for–but it WOULD involve some striving…and possibly a lot of anxiety over various rings of fire he’d need to pass through, such as theory pre-tests and upcoming jury exams etc. There’s no audition at Earlham and I can’t imagine they have many students coming there to major in music. I think he would get tons of one on one mentoring there.

I’m also aware of Earlham’s reputation regarding Japanese programs. Conversely, S could only minor in Japanese at Lawrence, which isn’t a very solid safety net if even the music BA at Lawrence is too stressful or unattainable. That said, they have a very interesting-looking Linguistics program which is interdisciplinary and there’s lots of crossover with other things he’s interested in and/or that might actually lead to a job (computer science). He hasn’t had a chance to dive in to linguistics yet, but looking at the course descriptions, I really feel like this could be a real opportunity at Lawrence.

How does S feel, you say? He’s confused! He went in to visit season almost ready to put his money on Earlham, and then Lawrence swept him off his feet. He had much better connections with the students, and they invited him to stay for two nights. Earlham flew him in and arranged the flight (which was so generous of them), but he only got to stay for one night and it was rushed and (from the sound of it) slightly disorganized. He did have some very positive interaction with the music and Japanese faculty, and he loves the idea of the August Wilderness at Earlham–but Lawrence is magnetic. I swear, that school deserves an award for brilliant marketing. They really exploit the power of storytelling and mythmaking in their warm and engaging correspondence. They seem to have a very solid administrative team. It has really made both of us think deeply about the importance of support staff. Earlham seems strained in this area.

Finally, he’s worried about drama and instability at Earlham. Or maybe I am worried about it and have been projecting. I know they have a new president coming in (and many see this as a promising new direction) but I think there are concerns about consensus & extreme political correctness (he’s liberal, but a slave to reason over emotion). Speaking of which, he’s also an atheist. I don’t know that he’d participate, but LU has something like a skeptic’s club while Earlham’s Christian roots seem a little more…out front. What are clubs if not a snapshot of the current student body?

As for cost, Lawrence would cost less than 1k a year more, so the difference is not remarkable in the scheme of things. The one question mark: 2 years from now his aid at Lawrence could possibly go down as his father just got a new job. This is my ex-husband, so unfortunately I do not have the full story but Lawrence does consider the non-custodial parent’s income and Earlham is FAFSA-only. I was about ready to encourage him to go for Earlham on this point alone, but there is something holding me back. If Earlham is as intellectually stimulating as Lawrence, they do not communicate this as well to parents and students. I can’t tell anymore what is truth and what is advertising. I’m too close to it, and so is he. So have at it–let me know your thoughts from the outside looking in, CC!

2

Clubs are not necessarily a snapshot of the student body - at least not individual clubs. When you take clubs as a whole, you can find some indication of the students’ preferences and predilections. Like if Earlham had 100 clubs and 33 of them were Christian interest organizations, or if Lawrence had 20 different atheist or skeptics’ clubs on campus - well, maybe then you could say something about them (and even then, how many students are members?). But the existence of one skeptics’ club doesn’t really say anything about the attitude of the school.

Earlham does have a deeper and broader variety of offerings in Japanese and East Asian studies. Lawrence offers an East Asian studies major, but it is a more general major that covers China, Japan, and Korea together - whereas Earlham’s major covers Japanese society specifically. Normally I wouldn’t let that be the dealbreaker, but I feel a kinship with this kid because I chose my college in large part because of the strength of the Japanese language offerings and exchange program (unusual at an HBCU). Earlham has a double-degree program with Waseda, one of the best universities in Japan; there’s a Japan House for students interested in Japan and Japanese; there’s an Institute for Education on Japan. Lots of opportunities.

How long has it been since engagement with the storytelling and the visit? Might be worth it to wait a week or more to see the original effect of this cool off a bit, put some distance between it and your son. The mythmaking only works on the front end; it’s not going to be there during the every day grind of studying.

3

Thanks for the input. There’s no doubt Earlham has more to offer in Japanese, but he’s just as excited about music (if not moreso). Lawrence students actually have the opportunity to spend their junior year at Waseda, which he definitely wants to do–and that makes me think maybe the Japanese shortage at Lawrence isn’t that big of a deal. You’re probably right about just giving him time and space to breathe–it takes time to process things. He visited Lawrence 2/23 and Earlham 3/12. Oddly, Earlham did not even mention the Japan House to him on his visit–I’ve heard rumblings that the theme housing is difficult to get in to.

4

What does his head say and what does his heart say?

5

Sounds to me like he can’t go wrong with either one. Time to start thinking about other factors: ease/cost of transportation from where you live, quarter vs semester (this one was a big decider for my D between LU and Beloit), Richmond vs Appleton, internship opportunities, study abroad opportunities, and the list goes on. I like the ^ head vs heart question, too…gut feelings are important.

6

I think his head says Earlham and heart says Lawrence. Head because the financial aid is rock solid @ EC and bc on paper major the disciplines are so clearly aligned. But we all change so much from 18-22 and majors DO sometimes change. I think gut instinct is saying LU for both of us…ironic that he’s leaning toward his heart when my OP indicated that he was ruled by reason! For music he could be really inspired and driven by the talent at Lawrence–there’s a fine line there between being inspired and being intimidated. That said, it isn’t Julliard, and I get the idea everyone works really hard to support students there & help them to get where they want to be. He won’t have a car, and to me the Lawrence campus and its location directly bordering downtown is attractive. I also think he does better with fewer classes and swifter deadlines, which is another mark in favor of Lawrence since they’re on the trimester schedule. Flights are roughly the same, but not needing to fly home at Thanksgiving AND Christmas would help.

I am going to try my best to take a week long break from saying ANYTHING related to financial aid, professors, dorm room art work or anything else related to the college search. Hopefully the blackout will make room for an epiphany to emerge. Next week he will waltz in, head held high, and announce: “Mother, I have made a decision!” It’s bizarre what we dream about at this time of life. I absolutely want for this to be his decision–it’s a delicate balance. The real triumph will come when I fully accept whatever name slips from his lips at the moment, and resist the urge to say “But what about…”

7

I’ve also heard of people using eenie-meenie and coin tosses. I’ve heard them say that if they’re unhappy with the winning result of one of these, they pick to the other one.

8

How will you pay for Lawrence if your ex’s EFC goes up but he refuses to pay it? Can you absorb the loss of the scholarships? If not, I’d send him to Earlham.

9

My college student visited both Lawrence and Earlham as an athletic recruit several times – for what it’s worth, we did not experience Earlham as any more religious (after all, Quakers are the antithesis of proselytizing – these are the folks who sit still and rarely speak in religious services) than Lawrence, nor did we experience Lawrence as any less liberal/PC than Earlham. Lawrence is a larger student body, so the pure numbers may mean that a student has more places to find their niche, but I don’t think there is a dramatic difference in campus culture.

Differences of note include that Lawrence has greek life, and certain dorms/houses are designated for specific chapters, though it is “not traditional” greek life as you might find, say, at Washington & Lee. Lawrence athletic facilities are not as great as at Earlham, and we were surprised to hear that students get free membership to the Y down the street – the student work-out space on the main campus side of the river (varsity facilities are across the river) were modest. My student-athlete-musician very much liked that Lawrence holds open auditions for all its ensembles, and that he could contemplate a double major with music, but also heard that it could be very challenging to manage the demands of a music major and a varsity sport, so that became less important to him. As for Earlham, its physical plant generally seemed fresher and better maintained, with gorgeous new construction/renovation in fine arts/music building, sciences, admissions and athletics. As best I recall, Earlham’s endowment is about the size of Kenyon’s – so solid, especially given that Earlham is about 500 fewer kids than Kenyon. Earlham’s admissions process was not as warm and fuzzy as Lawrence – my kid did not feel “wooed” by Earlham admissions, though the academic/music/athletic folks he met with were very warm and encouraging.

Our impression was that both schools are full of independent, interesting kids who value tolerance and community. There really is not a wrong answer – let it “percolate” and in a few more weeks, try the coin toss to see how he feels when it falls on one school over another. In the meantime, take advantage of all the “google hang outs” etc. that are made available to admitted students so that your son can experience more of each school. Good luck! Before you know it, you’ll be packing the car for either Richmond or Appleton!

10

Have your son pick a school and eat, sleep, work and breathe as if that school is the school he will be attending next year. Let him live with this for two days. How does he feel knowing that the other school is no longer an option? Then have him do the same exercise with the other school.

11

My son is a first year student-athlete at Earlham this year. He chose Earlham over Bowdoin and Connecticut College.

Both Bowdoin and Conn “wooed” him. They flew him out. They hosted him and he had a great time. And after each visit, that was his “favorite” school – he had fun and they made him feel wanted.
He did not have the same hosting experience at Earlham. It was more disorganized and his student hosts were less attentive.

BUT… he still chose Earlham.

He made two visits. The first one left him cold. On the second one, we wrote a personal email to his admissions counselor outlining his interests and goals, and he got an extremely personalized visit. He sat with three professors, including a professor emeritus, who gave him generous amounts of time discussing their work and student involvement in research. He got taken back campus to the bio ponds. The coach matched him with an athlete who seemed to be a similar personality.
He still did not feel “wooed” the way he was at other schools.

But – and this is a big but –
I don’t think Earlham admissions is half-hearted or neglectful; I think it is intentional. At Earlham they seem to take the approach. "This is who we are. While we would be happy to have you, you should be sure this is a good fit for you. At Earlham – he felt that he saw what the school is all the time more than anywhere else.
(As a parent, I appreciate that approach; I don’t want my kid to think a school is all admissions weekend fun-and-games and get there to find something else.)

In the end – at Earlham, his hosts were not very attentive. Which can be unnerving, if not off-putting as a recruit. But after thinking about it, he decided that it was because they were really seriously engaged in what they were doing at the school.

He also felt that Earlham students were strongly independent individuals and that their “neglect” probably came from their expectation that, as an Earlham applicant, he was independent and individualistic as well.

He had a blast at Bowdoin and Conn. He said that Bowdoin and Conn were great and he really liked the schools and the kids. But, in retrospect, he questioned why they had four days to drop what they were doing and spend so much time on him. He also felt that those schools were spending so much time energy, and resources on convincing people to go there and that Earlham clearly preferred to put their resources into the students they knew WANTED to be there because it was their “best fit.”

My son has been at Earlham since August preseason, and he has been happy with his choice. He likes his team. They didn’t have a great season, but half of the starting lineup were First Years, so they have room to grow. He also worked at the Natural History Museum on campus, doing tours and animal care, which he liked a lot. Sometimes when I called, he was involved in some unusual “organized” campus activities (frosting cookies, tie-dying tshirts, salamander species count at 10:30pm on a Saturday…and, no, I dont think that was a euphemism…) He did a lot of service hours, was asked to go to a symposium on race in Indianapolis as part of a group representing the school, and he went somewhere for the admissions office (I’m not really clear on what or why). He joined a spring break service trip to Appalachia, and he has been asked to TA next year for Eco-Bio class. And, to be honest, my kid -while individualistic- isn’t “exceptional.” He isn’t that top kid who always gets chosen. These are all opportunities available to Earlham students and the kids just pick and choose what they want do. You can be an athlete and frost cookies. You can do service work and catch salamanders.

My son chose Earlham wanted to go to a school where individualism is prized and where everyone is welcomed and and encouraged to be him/herself.
So, he did not feel “recruited” at Earlham, but he felt respected, which he thought was more important.

12

Thank you for sharing your son’s experience. We had a very similar experience with Earlham. We had the least amount of contact with them during the admissions process. I almost wrote them off several times. I never got the warm fuzzies. His admissions counselor even failed to return emails. Other schools called and coaxed and definitely made him feel wanted but he ultimately choose Earlham. He loves the international community and is interested in the Comparative Linguistics program. Earlham never felt right for me though and the day I put down the deposit I felt extreme anxiety. We did not hear from them for a week (finally got a letter in the mail - never from his admissions counselor). I kept comparing this to the experiences we had at other schools where the folks at admissions reached out and were always available. I made peace with the nagging feeling by deciding to believe that Earlham just takes a very different approach to the admissions process choosing to put their energy into teaching rather than recruiting. I was so glad to read the experience you shares. Glad to hear your son is happy there. I was never worried about their academics but on our visit (mid February) it seemed a little dreary and I just wasn’t sure he would be happy there. Reading you review makes me think I can stop worrying. A little. : )

13

@BB, thank you for your “review”. DS did not choose Earlham, but I have a soft spot for the place based on the people I know who either went there or are there now. The antithesis of “other directed”!

I think that offering support, but not direction, is unusual these days, yet it really allows kids to own who they decide to be. Nice to get a glimpse into how they do that!

14

I’m sure Earlham is a wonderful place, but to circle back–my son chose Lawrence. I think on paper Earlham was the better fit for Japanese, but in nearly every other way, he preferred Lawrence. Since he put down the deposit, he hasn’t looked back–so I guess it truly feels right to him. I will say this: we found out that Lawrence is FAFSA-only after the first year, so the non-custodial parent stuff I was worried about isn’t an issue. The big difference is the funding for study abroad. 100% of his aid would have applied to a year at Waseda had he chosen Earlham. That smarts. Merit at Lawrence cannot be funneled to study abroad, but there are scholarships he can apply for.

With Trump in the White House, I feel like the political climate at Earlham may overshadow everything else for the next four years–especially with such a small student body on a fairly isolated campus. S is what I’d call a free-thinking progressive who nonetheless has a low tolerance for extreme political correctness. Anyway, thank you to everyone for the input! I hope he made the right decision. Fingers crossed.

15

If in the future he will be eligible for a Pell grant, there are scholarships for study abroad:

Gilman Scholarship https://www.gilmanscholarship.org/program/eligibility/
Students that are studying a critical language get a higher award https://www.gilmanscholarship.org/program/program-overview/

http://fundforeducationabroad.org/about-fea/
The Fund for Education Abroad (FEA) was established as a 501(c)(3) organization in 2010 to address the need for an independent study abroad scholarship provider. FEA is expanding access to study abroad by raising awareness of its benefits to the individual and value to the collective, and by granting scholarships of up to $10,000.
Applicants from groups underrepresented in study abroad and those destined for non-traditional locations are given preference, in an effort to make the demographics of U.S. undergraduates studying abroad reflect the rich diversity of the U.S. population.

http://fundforeducationabroad.org/applicants/
PREFERENCES
Academically rigorous and immersive study abroad program
Study of the host country language (if not English)
Student demonstrates financial need
FEA strongly encourages students to apply who represent a group that is traditionally underrepresented in education abroad. Those groups include, but are not limited to:
Minority students
First-generation college students
Community college students