<p>
[quote]
mommusic IF they're friends--no problem. If they sign up to live together b/c they're GF/BF, what if they decide to break up? Mid-semester and there's no where else to live? Huge problems.
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How is this any different from a falling out between two friends? How is this any different from two existing roomates getting fed up with one another and wanting to move somewhere else?</p>
<p>WOW you gender-segregationists just don't think through these things do you?</p>
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[quote]
kathiep Being friends with guys, marrying one after they've grown up, or sharing an apartment (with seperate bedrooms), is fine and dandy with me, but I can't see the appeal of sharing a dorm room with a guy.
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And that would be your choice as an adult. Not everything sees the world the same way you do. Why should others who see things differently be denied to make that kind of decision in the first place?</p>
<p>Kassos:
[quote]
WOW you gender-segregationists just don't think through these things do you?
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</p>
<p>I just think it would be easier for a single-sex floor or suite to trade among themselves to fix the problem than it would be for a mixed-sex group. Suppose no one else wants to live with a member of the opposite sex?</p>
<p>I also think it IS different from a falling out between two friends. More emotional, at least for the female (that's the only side I have personal experience at being.) ;)</p>
<p>I don't know if you're M or F but you are young and entitled to your opinion.</p>
<p>My D's school imposed this rule for a two-year trial period commencing 2007-08. </p>
<p>At her school, this is less about BF/GF roomies than it is about a gay lesbian issue. The gay lesbian alliance at her school was the driving force seeking this change in housing situation and the parties initially opting for the rooms tend to include one or the other or both who feel uncomfortable rooming with someone of the same gender, because of sexual preferences or whatever.</p>
<p>A similar thread was thrown about:</p>
<p>kassos, Did I say I cared what anyone else did? I said I would not choose to room with a guy.... I think singles are the way to go anyway. My son said that's the most popular room choice on his campus.</p>
<p>Despite the admin's caveat and the over-whelming student pref for single rooms, I am certain D and BF would opt for a double, if ever given the option.</p>
<p>To clarify (because I'm really not a reactionary dinosaur, people): I see nothing wrong with choosing a roommate of the opposite sex for certain practical reasons, but if it's a GF/BF reason, it can get complicated. </p>
<p>Relationships don't follow the 9 month school year. Suppose halfway through you want to date other people? And at this time in your life, you should.</p>
<p>This is not the same as having a friend/roommate of the same sex. It just isn't, unless it wasn't much of a relationship to begin with. And in March you have to decide if you'll be together in the fall? </p>
<p>Kassos--if you don't see the dif between friends and gf/bf, it makes me wonder. Do you get REALLY attached to your roommates??? Or do you not get that attached to your significant other?</p>
<p>FWIW, I know my daughter would absolutely love the opportunity to share a room with a gay guy. Gay men are great roommates. </p>
<p>On another note, when I was in college we all paired off and shared rooms with our significant others. None of this was official -- we simply swapped. Some of the swapping required a convoluted chain -- and if there was a break up, then a reshuffle was required. All was done without intervention/involvement of either the housing office or RA's. I'd think that nowadays when everyone has a cell phone and lap top, the informal swapping around would be even easier -- I think I used to have to always make sure to be back in my "official" room on Sunday nights at 7 pm to be there to take the inevitable phone call from my parents. </p>
<p>One of the ironies of single-gender housing policies is that gay kids are the only ones who can officially room with their significant other. So the whole sex-thing (as opposed to gender-thing) really is something the cohabitants need to figure out for themselves. It isn't all that different from the problem faced by grownups who sign a lease or a mortgage together. The worse case scenario is a period of several tense and uncomfortable months -- but that can also happen with same sex strangers who are thrown together and just don't get along. If 2 ex-lovers are stuck together in a room, presumably they agree on some ground rules about dating and don't use their shared room as a trysting place.</p>
<p>I agree entirely w/ Calmom. Plenty of unofficial rooming w/ signif other when I was in college - - in fact, I attended a women's college and there were always boys living on the hall w/ their respective girlfriends. Similarly, a friend's D offered her coveted single to BF's roommate -- all three students involved viewed this as a win/win situation: rommate moved from a double to a single, friend's D and BF got the double and each other.</p>
<p>But for fear of parental outrage, I'm sure more colleges would institute co-ed rooms. I can't believe co-ed suites would be an issue anywhere.</p>
<p>Also, the fact that same-sex rommates confers a presumably unintended benefit on gay/lesbian students has not gone unnoticed by D and her hetero boarding school classmates!</p>
<p>
[quote]
mommusicTo clarify (because I'm really not a reactionary dinosaur, people): I see nothing wrong with choosing a roommate of the opposite sex for certain practical reasons, but if it's a GF/BF reason, it can get complicated. </p>
<p>Relationships don't follow the 9 month school year. Suppose halfway through you want to date other people? And at this time in your life, you should.</p>
<p>This is not the same as having a friend/roommate of the same sex. It just isn't, unless it wasn't much of a relationship to begin with. And in March you have to decide if you'll be together in the fall? </p>
<p>Kassos--if you don't see the dif between friends and gf/bf, it makes me wonder. Do you get REALLY attached to your roommates??? Or do you not get that attached to your significant other?
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Everything you say may be correct but it doesn't matter.</p>
<p>I'll give you all the benefit of the doubt and assume 9 out of 10 gf/bf roommates have a terrible emotional breakup.</p>
<p>How does that change the fact that they, especially the 1 out of 10 that are just fine, shouldn't be given the freedom to make that choice??</p>
<p>I support freedom. Everyone else it seems wants to impose their world view on others and thus deny them the ability to make that CHOICE.</p>
<p>Ah, you're all about choice. So live off campus, with whomever you please.</p>
<p>I'm glad I went to college when I did. Even house shares during New York summers were pretty gross once the boys got into the picture....talk about hygiene! (no flames, please. I have a fairly tidy husband.)</p>
<p>
[quote]
Ah, you're all about choice. So live off campus, with whomever you please.
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Why should the living arrangement of two individuals in a double room be of any concern to the others in the hall if they don't hurt anyone and are respectful to their neighbors (like any dorm resident should be)</p>
<p>I kind of doubt it, but does anyone remember when Margaret Mead spoke to the student body at Vassar way back in 1972 when coed same floor living was so new and highly controversial? Margaret Mead's lecture turned out to be an extensive commentary on her "A Cross-Cultural View of Human Sexuality" and she proudly predicted that this "experiment" would be a great success because residents of coed dorms would observe self-imposed restrictions on dating with their "brothers and sisters" by creating an implicit "incest taboo". Extended dorm family or not, most students did (and I do suppose do) settle into a platonic pattern of dorm-residential life and whatever went on behind closed doors was fine as long as the door was closed. So, we have been down this road quite a while now and coed rooms are a just new wrinkle and just as controversial for all the same reasons- really, when you think about it, the more things change, the more they stay the same.</p>
<p>Kassos - Apparently, there are parents (and probably some students, though admittedly fewer in number), who believe that the mere presence of the opposite sex sharing the same hallway or bathrooms, much less the same dorm room, creates a harmful atmosphere. That's why many schools still have parietals - - check the student handbook of pretty much any Catholic college/univ including those in the liberal East (Holy Cross, Fordham, etc.).</p>
<p>Asteriskea, your post brought back memories of my father hitting the roof in the 70's when his beloved Princeton started coed dorms. He called a housing dean and she said," Actually, the close proximity will encourage more of a brother/sister atmosphere than anything else". Just like what Margaret Meade said! ( none of us were allowed to even apply to coed colleges, needless to say. )</p>
<p>Haha. My mother kept suggesting a nice "girls" college not far from home (they were more common in the 70s) and I steadfastly ignored her.</p>
<p>When coed dorms started, students lived there by choice; if they preferred single-sex dorms, that option was still available. This changed over time so that on many campuses today, students no longer have a choice - <em>all</em> dorms are coed, and they cannot choose single-sex housing even if they prefer it.</p>
<p>Now that coed dorm rooms have started, students live there by choice; if they prefer a same-sex roommate, that option is still available. I wonder how long it will take before the colleges start "gender-blind" housing assignments, so that students may be assigned to share a dorm room with a person of the opposite sex whom they have never met.</p>
<p>My daughter (a senior in high school) recently visited a small, private college. The women students that she spoke with recommended the all girls dorm -- more fun, better smelling, much easier to study.</p>
<p>"Actually, the close proximity will encourage more of a brother/sister atmosphere than anything else". Just like what Margaret Meade said!"</p>
<p>Thre is no evidence whatsoever that Mead was correct, and some significant though anecdotal evidence ("friends with benefits") that she was not.</p>
<p>(I'm supportive of it in any case.)</p>