<p>Am I the only one who sees co-ed dorm life as a loss of freedom for female students?</p>
<p>I went to nursing school in the early '70s when the nurses' residence was ALL female (foreign trained nurses and nursing students). I loved the freedom of being able to run around the entire dorm in a surgical scrub top, big-ole plastic rollers, w/ zit-cream on my face :D. Having four brothers meant these were things I could never had done at home.</p>
<p>It is difficult to believe, girls don't alter the way they live - having males sharing their living spaces. Your dorm, your dorm floor and most of all your dorm room should be a place where you can be totally relaxed. Can that happen when you have young males and* young* females sharing the same living space?</p>
<p>I'm with you TutuTaxi, but I'm wondering if it's just the lack of modesty in college girls and guys. I have one daughter and two sons but I don't think any of them would feel comfortable changing clothes in the same room as each other. I would just like all students to be able to choose what's comfortable for them and not have something foisted on them because of the mistaken belief that all students want the same set up.</p>
<p>Well, I really don't think anyone is ever going to make girls and guys room together, despite the dire prediction a couple posts up.</p>
<p>I would've felt it weird to have guys on my floor, but I really think my kids thought that living in mixed company (though not rooms) was the norm. Though as a junior and senior, my D did choose to room in apartments with all girls.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Kassos - Apparently, there are parents (and probably some students, though admittedly fewer in number), who believe that the mere presence of the opposite sex sharing the same hallway or bathrooms, much less the same dorm room, creates a harmful atmosphere. That's why many schools still have parietals - - check the student handbook of pretty much any Catholic college/univ including those in the liberal East (Holy Cross, Fordham, etc.).
[/quote]
That's because they aren't used to that kind of living arrangement. You can just imagine how people felt when co-ed by floor dorms were a new thing in the 70's. Someone of the opposite sex living in the same building.. oh the horror!</p>
<p>I would say that their opinion is invalid just like a racist opinion is invalid. Think of it this way, if someone was horrified by the fact of someone of a different race living on the same floor as them, who is in the wrong? Should we be catering to those types of attitudes? Why is racial discrimination bad but gender discrimination okay?</p>
<p>In time things will chance. My way of thinking is the way of the future.</p>
<p>Actually, I would feel more comfortable rooming with some of my guy friends than I would with some female friends. I am female (and we're all straight for what it's worth).</p>
<p>
[quote]
Why is racial discrimination bad but gender discrimination okay?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>kassos--Don't be rediculous. Segregation by floor or suite is NOT discrimination, unless every other floor has a kitchen or special lounge and the boys are consistently assigned the floors without amenities. </p>
<p>Girls who don't want to live WITH boys (in the same room) have nothing against them, they just feel entitled to some privacy. In today's society it's hard to go against the flow, but you do still have the right to privacy if you WANT it. Sometimes the pressure (from the media, fashion magazines, movies, and general society) to conform is so great, girls feel somehow inadequate if they are not as free and easy around the opposite sex as they think they are supposed to be. They should have a choice. (And there's something to be said for maintaining a certain amount of mystery.) ;)</p>
<p>And if my daughter didn't have a choice, she would just take her tuition dollars elsewhere.</p>
<p>kassos - I'm not sure that everyone who disagrees w/ you on co-ed dorms is unelightened or lacking in life experience, as opposed to just having different values. DD who would certainly share room w/ BF, is still a bit shy about changing in front of her female roommate (both girls still occasionally use their nightgowns as "tents"). I can't imagine her being comfortable sharing a bathroom or other living space w/ boys. She's not close-minded - - just modest.</p>
Actually there isn't because that's exactly the kind of social backdrop that allows for extreme behavior like sexual assault. If men and women were used to one another's presence, treated each other as equals, lived on the same floors, that kind of behavior would drop. </p>
<p>Anyway, we're getting off topic.</p>
<p>Bottom line, people should be able to live with whoever they want, and anyone that is uncomfortable with the living arrangements of others needs to learn how to mind their own business and be accepting of other people's private lifestyles, or move out if they are so offended.</p>
<p>I think we can agree people are entitled to a choice.</p>
<p>But kassos, have you heard the statistics on women getting raped in the army? It's horrifying...they are afraid to go to the showers alone, their superiors don't support their reports of rape, and they ultimately feel they can't trust these guys to watch their backs in battle. Very demoralizing. And these are men and women who live together and treat each other as equals, as you say.</p>
<p>I'm not at all saying it's "dangerous" to have mixed sexes in the dorms, just that this scenario won't create the perfect world you might hope.</p>
<p>"that's exactly the kind of social backdrop that allows for extreme behavior like sexual assault"</p>
<p>A bit overstated, I think. By that measure, I suppose colleges should be outlawing misogynistic songs bc these, too, promote "exactly the kind of social backdrop that allows for extreme behavior like sexual assault."</p>
<p>Add me to the list of those who appreciate that my son's university is not suggesting to him, through its housing policy, that he is ready for a committed long term residential relationship with a young lady with whom he has a romantic relationship. When and if he is, that will be something he has to include us on as long as he has to come up with off campus housing and the money for it.</p>
<p>I agree with the privacy- but I don't agree that you get more privacy and modesty with segregated dorms.
I am not a prude-
However, just because I am female, doesn't mean I want to live in a situation where other females think they don't have to cover up whatever is hanging out. I don't want to see it, I think that outside the bathroom that everyone should be covered up no matter what sex you are.</p>
<p>If it takes having dorms that are coed to get people to start respecting each others privacy and exhibit some modesty then I am all for it.</p>
<p>Additionally, unless a "womens" dorm actually bans men, then there are liable to be random males wandering around, the problem is you wouldn't necessarily know who or where they belong.</p>
<p>If women choose to be in a womens dorm or men choose a mens dorm thats fine- they have a choice- but I don't think that most will choose a segregated dorm, from my observations, the people who lived in coed dorms were very happy with that situation, much more family style and dorm choice was assigned by interest or theme, rather than by chromosomes ;)</p>
<p>The students that lived in my older daughters dorm were sufficently modest and respectful of each others privacy, that I was comfortable having her younger sister stay with her during visits- BTW she was 11 when sis was a freshman.</p>
<p>With a single this yr in a dorm that is coed by floor, he has been able to have as many overnight guests as he wants, as often as he wants, for whatever (lawful) purpose. But what he def cannot have in this housing situation, or in next year's, is "living space pressure" to stay in a relationship that might otherwise not have survived, or the myriad day to day living in the same space problems that are likely to arise if one or the other decides to call it quits before June 2008. (Housing lottery for next yr is actually occuring at this very minute - 6/08 is a long way off for an 18 year old.)</p>
<p>I don't think gender blind housing should be allowed- you know why? Because it did not exist when I went to college ! :)...seriously I met my wife in college. If we had roomed together in the second year until graduation that would have had some positive and I am sure negative consequences like maybe we would have never married- HA! Just kidding honey!</p>