Hi everyone. I just need to slap some sense into me because I’m being overdramatic and I hope someone can help me out! I applied to nine out of state schools and one in state school and decided to stay in state. It’s a private university. My friends however are all leaving and it makes me regret my decision…I think because of jealousy? But also the fact that I feel like a failure because I stayed here instead of going out and exploring and learning new things like I thought I would. I know I’m being overdramatic and jealous and stupid. I just need some sense into me that I’m not a failure and that I’m going to end up okay.
If you are happy in state, then just tell yourself to knock it off. Why try to talk yourself out if happiness?
Besides, if you lived in Mass, would you be jealous of your friends all leaving and you sticking around to go to Harvard?
Just be happy!
I went to a private college in my home state that was about 20 minutes away from my parents’ house. I had a wonderful time, and I moved away after I graduated.
There’s no failure in staying in the location you grew up in. Most young adults do. You can grow into an independent adult, explore, and learn new things in your home city. It’s most likely that you will experience the city very differently as a young adult in college than you did as a high school student.
Many kids just happen to live near the perfect school. Would you not go to Princeton or Harvard or Cal if you lived in those cities? If you wanted to make the Olympic ski team, would you not stay in Vail to train and practice? Sometimes things just work out.
I’m sure you will have lots of opportunities to study abroad, so the “staying in my home state” issue will be muted. Also, don’t discount the fact your familiar “backyard” will look totally different–and be experienced differently–as a college student. The college campus life will likely be all-enveloping, and you will definitely feel like you’re in a new place, even if you’re just a few miles down the road.
My son stayed in state at a state school. Almost all of his friends went away. One dropped out at Christmas, 4 are transferring from far away (AL, FL) back to NJ next year. My son has loved his decision since day one. The old saying “the grass is always greener”…
You’re 17 or 18. After college you have the next 70 years to live anywhere. Just do well in school. Too much drama.
Well you have until May 1 to make a final decision. If you have second thoughts, continue to look at your other options where accepted. It may just reinforce your current decision which is fine. Good luck.
Look at how much it costs. The most you can take out is student loans is $27k for a 4 year degree. Your parents pay for the rest. If they can’t pay it, then none of your choices are good. You might need to seriously re-think your college options and reapply to something affordable in the spring.
The main issue here is that like many HS kids you want to view the world in simple black-and-white terms. Cognitively it makes things easier. Something or someone is great/terrible, no shades of grey thank-you-very-much!
We could talk about differences between the private and public experience (although of course exceptions exist). Class size, more personal advising, not being able to sign up for classes. And weigh that against the fun of trying something completely new OOS, of the growth & independence from being far from home. But all this nuance and contrast is lost when you try to push the summary into a single bucket.
The real answer to you is time. When you are able to view decisions as not being wholly good or wholly bad then you’ll be able to evaluate whether this choice, made under considerable uncertainty, was the best decision.
Also I should also to add on, I’m staying here because the school here offered me a full ride scholarship so I took it. Less burden on my parents and myself
You chose it for a bunch of great reasons. Follow your instincts. So if you go to a school you don’t like to be more adventurous, that’s not what you othink y should be seeking exclusively. This isn’t a vacation,it’s a place to live and learn. Revisit your choices and confirm. But doing anything to follow your friends path never is a good way to make important choices in life.
If you received a full ride then you should be jumping for joy, not feeling like a failure. You are extremely fortunate!
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It may not really be jealousy, just a fear of missing out --FOMO! Moving away is considered synonymous with being independent, and that is not necessarily so. The flight response is pretty typical for 18 year olds. You made your decision to stay in state based on good reasons. You can have just as great an experience in your home state as they will going away, and you have time on your side.
I assumed that although in state you are still going away to a campus. If you are 100 miles or 1000 miles away you’re still on your own. It will feel plenty adventurous a week or two into it from my experience.