<p>I'm a theology major, and a new Catholic, so I get the question of "would you date someone outside of your faith" a lot. To be honest, I've only dated one person who actually was my faith (I was Anglican before, and there just aren't very many out there, so I had to date outside of my denomination). Personally, I just don't think I would be able to do that now. At the very least I would have to date someone who is Christian. My faith is too important in my life, and I think that because I wasn't born Catholic, if I were to have children (hopefully not too many...I've never really liked children that much...) then they would already be missing out on a lot of Catholic life. I just don't think it would be fair to them. Even though religious differences may not be a problem with dating, it will most likely become a problem when you discuss marriage and children. </p>
<p>I know it certainly can work, but I do think it depends on how important your faith is in your life. If it's something that is very important, then I think interfaith dating doesn't always work out as well.</p>
<p>I personally have nothing against the concept. It's a nice environment for a kid to grow up in (assuming they get married and have kids). It teaches tolerance and many other basic concepts that children need.
The only thing that the parents should keep in mind is that one should not pull the children in one direction and not the other. For example, say a father was Bhudist and a mother was christian, their first instinct would be for each of them to encourage their children to have his/her faith. Kids should have freedom of choice; to choose the one they find more convincing...not to choose based on the desire to please the parents.
I know a kid who is now being treated in an institution because his Christian mother wanted him to be Coptic and his Muslim father wanted him to be Muslim. He wanted to please them both but couldn't so he lost it! (he's athiest now by the way).</p>
<p>if it's just dating (without any long term commitments) then it would be benificial to both parties in terms of gaining new knowlesge about other people and their faiths.</p>
<p>I've just read through this thread and it's clear that almost all the posters have the naivete of youth when they blithely assume that (1) as long as spouses from different religions respect each other's beliefs, that it's fine and (2) they can just let the children "choose" their religion when they grow up.</p>
<p>In 99% of cases, neither of these assumptions are valid. It makes me scream when I hear people talking about letting children choose. Children need to groow up with an identity; they need to know who they are, and when religion is a part of their family's life, they need to be one or the other, or they will either grow up to be nothing, or grow up feeling like they don't fit in either religion of their parents.</p>
<p>IMHO it is totally irresponsible not to plan ahead so that if religion is important in the life of at least one spouse, they should agree on in what religion the children should be raised. This is not to say that these interfaith children should not celebrate holidays in the faith of the other spouse--(if the children are raised Jewish, I believe it's still appropriate to go to the nonJewish grandparents' house for Christmas) but children need to know who and what THEY are.</p>
<p>Too many young people refuse to think about this reality, so that the divorce rate among intermarried couples is even higher than the overall divorce rate.</p>
<p>Sorry for the "downer" message, but love isn't everything, especially when there are children involved.</p>
<p>I have to agree with the above post. You can't have 2 religions. It confuses the kids. This is why so many children of mixed religion marriages end up being agnostic or atheist. It's confusing to the kids. Your religion is right or wrong. You can't believe that the Messiah came 2000 years ago AND that the Messiah has yet to visit. You can't believe that the Pope is infallible on church doctrine AND believe that the Pope is just a spiritual guide.</p>
<p>When I was in 7th-12th grades, there was a girl in my class who was not allowed to go on any dates (even a one-time dance sort of thing) with boys who weren't Jewish. We all thought it was unfair at the time as did she, but as another poster said, she never had to deal with breaking off a serious romantic relationship for religious differences.</p>
<p>Both my husband's siblings and my siblings have married only within our faith. Our kids don't have to pick and choose between their parents' belief systems because they are the same for both parents.</p>
<p>A married couple will have enough differences of opinion throughout their marriage, religion should not be one of them.</p>
<p>I was raised Jewish, though I can't really remember anything besides Hanukah and Passover until third grade, when I started Hebrew and Sunday school. However, I didn't like having religion forced on me like that, so I quit Hebrew school in 5th grade and Sunday school in 6th grade, and never got bat-mitzvahed. That said, Im really not into organized religion because it involves people pushing religion on other people, even if it's just a parent pushing it on their child. Since then, however, I have found that I think I'm more Deist than any other religion, but it's not a big deal with me at all. </p>
<p>Still though, the guy I like right now is an uber-conservative Christian - I'm think he's a creationist, and he believes the world is only 6000 yrs old. So unfortunately, I know that it would never work out, because I couldn't deal with someone who believed stuff like that. I'm fine with if someone goes to church or whatever every week, but they can't push their religion on me, and they at least have to believe in evolution. I'd be fine with an atheist, though.</p>
<p>Religion is a totally mysterious and fascinating phenomenon that has existed for most of human existence. While I am going to church and reading the Bible and living my life as God would approve of, I cant say that I truly feel the presence of God in my life. At least not like my fiancé, who is very deep in the faith. I have met many people who are deep into their faith since I have returned to it and I cant find any reason for them to fake what they believe in. It is the real deal. The problem with people in general is whether or not we are perceptive to the spiritual world. I am not very perceptive of it yet but I know others who are and they didnt get there overnight. It took years of walking in the faith. Most of us give up too soon, and some of us completely deny the fact that God exists. I dont see how anyone can deny the existence of a creator of the universe. It is understandable how people can question Gods true nature and purpose but it is impossible for me to believe that we just appeared out of nothing. And the reason that the world is so screwed up is because God gave us free will. People act like just because God is good and loving, that life should be the same. But there are good and loving parents who raise kids who turn out to be bad people. It all deals with free will. Some people choose to do good and some choose to do evil (the opposite of evil).</p>
<p>I can't believe no on on this thread said they broke up with their bf/gf for religous differences because one or the other thought they were God.</p>
<p>i dont know that i could date a fundamentalist, not because of their religion, but because they have a tendancy to inform me that i am going to hell, which i just do think would work out too well in a relationship
im a Humanist who bases parts of my personal philosophy on Taoism btw</p>
<p>and i disagree with the idea that children need one faith (but then, im very young...) i think that confusing and contradiction in faith can ultimatly lead people to asking the most important questions: while I was raised in a catholic house and attend a catholic school, reading books like the upanishads and the tao teh ching awakened questions in me that ultimatly lead me in different directions entirely... i think that faith without questioning is not faith, but rather acceptance of what you have been told your entire life.</p>
<p>Theatreworm, I didn't mean that just because you are raised in one faith--and this applies to children whose parents are the same religion, too--you shouldn't question your faith. In fact, IMO, if you don't go through a period of questioning, you are not truly engaged in your faith.</p>
<p>It is true that people raised in one faith ultimately choose another for a variety of reasons. My point is that if religion is important to at least one parent, the children need to have a single religious identity. Children need to have that belonging and knowledge of where they fit in the world. Then if after being knowledgable about the religion in which they were raised, those children ultimately decide to pursue another religion, that's obviously their choice.</p>
<p>I'm all for inter-faith dating. I love getting to know people from different ends of the spectrum and getting insight into how a group of people see the world. My last three dates were with an Atheist, a Christian, and a Muslim. All were very different but all were very fun and interesting to get to know.</p>
<p>as far as raising a kid in a religious family:</p>
<p>between the ages of 0-12 (rough estimate here), any exposure a kid has to religion, is, in effect, probably brainwashing. the kid doesn't have the kind of comprehension needed to understand the real intricacies of any faith. a disconnect from both faiths merely signifies that no brainwashing has taken place. so /what/ if they grow up to be agnostic? it's no wonder - maybe that's the right decision! those who are strong in their faith and believe it out of their hearts have to come to that decision on their own, not with the help of a parent that has shaped their identity through sole exposure to their own views. </p>
<p>the people i know who are truly faithful have put a lot of soul and research into their faith. they've read many holy books, they have prayed, they've truly wondered about it...they've been agnostics, athiests, buddhists, christian and otherwise at any one point in their life to come to where they are now. i know very, very few people like this, but i truly believe that true religion doesn't come from parents raising a kid to be "christian" or "muslim" or even an athiest...it comes out of a child that has been given and thus has learned the value of respect and love and who has the desire and the quest for knowledge to forge his/her own path.</p>
<p>so, i totally reject this nonsense about the kid being "confused" and "lacking identity". please. the reason so many coming out of this situation probably lack /traditional/ faith has more to do with not wanting one parent to feel inferior to the other, not because they are "confused".</p>
<p>my parents originally had different faiths. my mother converted to christianity i suppose for many of the reasons mentioned in this thread. i will tell you one thing, i live in a family that is strictly outwardly christian (my brother, mother, and father all attend church), and ironically, /that/ attitude made me feel like i didn't have a place in the family, in the world. but i can recall more recent memories of my mom expressing some of her own religious beliefs and it felt like a breath of fresh air to me. i was so thankful that life wasn't black and white; that EVERYONE had a place in the world, that EVERYONE was different, and that nobody shared their place with anybody else, even if it seemed like it from the outside. the sooner a kid learns this, the better.</p>
<p><em>I've just read through this thread and it's clear that almost all the posters have the naivete of youth when they blithely assume that (1) as long as spouses from different religions respect each other's beliefs, that it's fine and (2) they can just let the children "choose" their religion when they grow up.</em></p>
<p>Nicely put dg5052. It's about time this thread got a breath of fresh air, nice job.</p>
<p>I'm a Protestant Christian myself and I'm not interested in dating, marriage, etc. for a variety of reasons, but if I ever were to do so, I'd only date someone who shares the same core beliefs as I do. Meaning that a particular denomination of Christianity wouldn't matter, as long as we shared the same core beliefs. But since I've been against the idea of getting married or dating (especially in America) for quite some time now, I guess the whole issue of interfaith dating is really a non-issue for me :D It's just one less thing to worry about...</p>
<p>I'm open minded and when I look at interfaith dating think its nice and as long people are realistic about the issues involved then there shouldn't be a problem.<br>
I personally am open to dating someone of a different faith but I still often wonder if I'd actually get into a serious relationship with someone of a different faith.</p>