Internships and feeling Inadequate for not being chosen for them

So over the summer my Computer Science professor held a secret Internship he didn’t tell anyone about

As of recently I found out he had chosen someone out of the entire class to be in it and the person he chose isn’t the most competent programmer in the Class.

I know I shouldn’t feel some way about it but I do, because I feel like I’m missing something; is it my personality? Because I’m not very much of a kiss ass type of person, just do the work and get my grade.

Is not getting chosen by your professor for a internship a bad first step into your soon to be career?

Should I have done something different to get approval of my professor in order to get the internship?

Sorry if this is long…

What do you mean he held a secret internship? Do you mean he choose one person to be an intern and didn’t ask others to apply? That’s not uncommon. This is why you need to develop relationships with your professors. There not going to necessarily pick the student who has the highest grades, but rather the student that they know and like. This student may have expressed interest in the prof’s research. Maybe they met and discussed this during office hours. You really don’t know the whole story.

You can’t let one little thing like this get to you. Stuff like this happens to everyone and will continue happening you whole life. That’s just how things are. There aren’t many adults who can’t tell a story about not getting the job or promotion they feel they deserved. You have to just keep doing your best. But you do have to do more than just do the homework and get the grade. It’s not kissing ass to get to know your professor. Relationships and connections are very important in life and maybe it’s time for you to start working on that.

I hear your last point about connections and relationships and it’s true but it’s just not me which is why I asked the question.

I can’t force myself to talk to someone or get to know someone if I don’t care to do it with that specific person in particular; No matter whom it is, CEO or janitor; professor or student.

I am very keen about building relationships naturally and if that doesn’t happen I’m not going to force it; even if it could lead to a potential job, It’s just not in my character.

Will that negatively affect my career, I don’t know; but it’s apart of who I am flawed or not.

I’m just trying to find a way to traverse and prep myself for getting internships with that being my own personality

Understand your take on relationships and connections and while true it’s not just me.

I’ve never been the person to try and talk to a professor if it isn’t a natural progression. Made very close connections through the years with that being who I am and glad for it.

Especially if my intention is to get a internship or better job of some sort, it just has never been me.

I’m just trying to traverse a college/ future career landscape and trying to land internships and career opportunities with that being apart of who I am as a person.

Go to your school’s career center. They can help you practice your interviewing skills that are crucial for landing a job. You need to be able to sell yourself to prospective employers and professors if they hold the keys to research positions. People skills and making connections are important.

Most, if not all, professors are doing research in addition to teaching. It’s up to students to approach the professors about working in their labs. No one is going to come to you no matter how much of an academic superstar you may be.

Yes, saying, “It’s not me” won’t cut it. If it’s not a natural ability, you need to develop it. I am an introvert, but have worked hard to learn how to speak up and be heard. It is certainly “not me,” but I do it, anyway.

There are going to be a lot of things in your grown up life that aren’t “you”. Paying taxes, filing an expense report if you want your employer to reimburse you for travel (when we go back to traveling!), switching your voter registration if you move, getting the right license plates on your car if you leave your state…

Don’t overthink this. Making connections with your professors is part of the reason you are in college and not just reading books on your own. Agree with Mom’s fine suggestion of going to the career center. And you can break down the steps necessary on your own-professors don’t need you to become their best friend, they just want to see an interest in the subject that seems genuine.

“I’m just trying to traverse a college/ future career landscape and trying to land internships and career opportunities with that being apart of who I am as a person.”

Nobody is going to hire you without an interview- and what is an interview, but 45 minutes spent “not being you”. You can do this without “selling out” your principles. Nobody is asking you to sell crack to an 8 year old- you just need to show your professors a modicum of interest besides showing up for class. Stay late to ask a question; show up at office hours to find out if there is reading you can do that explains something that wasn’t clear during lecture; send an email indicating that you’d be interested in a research project next semester. Voila.

Agree with what you are saying and don’t have issues with interviews. Have gotten couple of jobs based on interviews of course nothing serious as a actual career.

But I’ve seen especially to get higher up and gaining prospective opportunities with this college landscape and career wise, a fair amount of fakeness is involved to get higher.

It’s not the interview process, it’s the having to force a relationship just because of wanting to gain something Out of it that I can’t do.

Which Is hard to change to due to my own personality traits.

Of course I will try to make my way, but if nothing pans out due to it and I Hinder potential opportunities, that’s fine too But at least I know it was because I was 100% authentically myself.

How is it inauthentic to tell your professor that you are interested in an internship next semester??

You’re not forcing a romantic relationship, you’re expressing interest in WORK. If you’re not interested in the work, then don’t pursue it. But you can’t then complain about not getting it.

You will have issues with your future career if you don’t force yourself out of your current comfort zone in terms of how you interact with people. I am not talking about a** kissing or being the life of the party, but to be successful in almost any job, EQ will be as important as IQ. You also have to be proactive. Jobs, desirable projects don’t fall into people’s laps. Don’t expect your employer (actual or potential) to read your mind on what you are interested in or that they will be so wowed by your brilliance that they will come to you. For better or worse, it is human nature for people to take an interest in people who take an interest in them. It is also human nature for people to want to work with people that they like personally. If you do this superficially (are fake) of course people will see through it. On the other hand if you can learn to take a genuine interest in other people’s personal and professional interests, you will help yourself personally and professionally.

I think it’s important that you make an effort to find out how your department fills their positions. Some positions may require applications, but jobs like research assistants and summer internships often come about as natural outgrowths of discussions students start after class and during office hours. They share common interests with the faculty. If a student isn’t interested in their research or just wants a position because they think it will look good on their resume, it doesn’t help the faculty. It was difficult this summer because the spring semester was cut short, so the regular application channels might have temporarily changed for the summer. But you won’t know if you don’t ask.

Jobs aren’t given out based on grades. Interest matters. Some faculty like hiring students who aren’t the best in the class because they’re willing to listen and learn. They want students who are interested in the work they’re doing. If you’re not interested in what they’re doing enough to talk to them, why should they hire you?

Regarding the secret internship, when professors obtain funding for a summer position they typically do not advertise these positions widely if they already have someone in mind. And the person in mind doesn’t need to be the top student in the class (but would not be the worst student, either.). Being in the right place at the right time is part luck and partly due to networking.

My daughter was asked to do research for a professor. He didn’t advertise the job, just picked who he thought would do a good job. Daughter wasn’t top of the class, and maybe other students (like you) thought the job should go to the highest grade in the class, but that’s not how it works.

The profession probably chose based on attending class (on time), work put into problems, being a nice person. Prof needed someone reliable. He had a deadline for the project and knew she’d meet that deadline. She did, even though she had the flu (twice) that semester, had her sport to play, had her senior project to finish. Some traits are more important to the employer than just being the best at something.

It’s inauthentic because me asking again is something I won’t do.

I asked him at the start of the Previous semester about internships and he said he “doesn’t hold Internships for sophomores” only for him to give the position to a fellow sophomore along is behavior I look don’t agree with.

If nobody sees anything wrong with that behavior than I can fairly agree to disagree.

Again thanks for all the responses

The prof may not have had money at the time you asked him (the start of the semester.) Then a grant was awarded later and he hired someone else who also may have expressed an interest. The OP wants to blame the prof for something (seeing “something wrong with that behavior”) when again this might be more about being in the right place at the right time.

This is a matter of putting energy into being your authentic self. In an internship experience, it’s important to bring it. An internship is often a very long interview. Don’t be afraid to show them your authentic self. Don’t hold back.

Many of the above comments are spot on. I’ll just add sometimes becoming a T/A can be a good "in " into the department. My S made friends with many of the PHD students in the CS department during office hours through his T/A work. One in turn brought him on board an A/I research project. The professor in charge did not even look at his resume or grades when he interviewed him even though they were quite strong. He only cared that the PHD student was vouching for him, that my S was pleasant and was willing self study the foundational A/I course over winter break. Friendship pays. From this he will be involved in two research papers. People that like you help you.

The other point is more opportunities typically come when you are an upper classman. There may be an assumption that non upper classman do know enough yet to be useful. The first time my S was offered an unsolicited research position was the start of his senior year. By this time he was too busy doing other projects to accept it.

What are the terms of the grant that funded the summer internship? If you don’t know those, you don’t know if you were qualified for the job.

Nobody is going to hand you an internship. If there are 15 faculty in your department there are probably a max of 15 internships/research positions. How many CS majors and minors do you have at your school? That’s who you’re competing with. You can hang around waiting for an offer or take the initiative to go find one. If the first faculty member doesn’t have a spot, keep asking. And check with other departments too. You never know who might be able to use a computer scientist.

Your professor will need to work closely with his intern, so likely selected a student who showed continued interest and well as someone whom he felt would be open, ask questions, share insights, etc. All this in addition to someone he thought could be helpful to his project.

You need to understand what it takes to succeed In the “real world”. Grades and aptitude got you to where you are, but going forward you will be evaluated on the how you work and your relationships with other. You may be able to do the work; but you also need to to be personable, kind, helpful, curious, etc. The people who get promoted and move forward are those that have the people skills to lead and inspire and mentor.

CS interviews at the top companies require passing a coding assessment and well as behavioral interview questions. You may get the job without passing the latter, but you won’t move up far in the company.

This is why most colleges want students who are well rounded, volunteer, participate in extra curricular activities, have diverse background/interests; not just the students with the highest GPA and SAT Scores. The better schools knows what it takes to succeed in life and don’t just want to give out degrees so graduates to get and sit in an entry-level position for 30 years. These Schools want to build leaders who are successful, can give back, and represent their alma mater well.