<p>I suppose I'll try to get straight to the point.</p>
<p>In high school (I'm a freshman into my second semester right now), I thought that I would enjoy math and physics even more than I did in high school because it was at an upper level. I really thought that the upper level would bring fun and interesting challenges, but so far I have found that this isn't really working for me.</p>
<p>Obviously, as a high school student, I wasn't exactly sure what the college-level education was like, but it's not even the fact that the upper level education isn't interesting - it is. It's rather the fact that I'm losing the interest in it. I don't know, I think I'm starting to pull away from the math and sciences and starting to lean towards the more liberal areas (maybe because right now I'm in a liberal school, although I planned to transfer to Columbia through a 3-2 year pre-engineering program).</p>
<p>I just feel like I'm really giving up. Right now, I'm taking Calculus 2, and I would've taken the calculus-based physics if it weren't for the professor's bad English (yes, I know it's a bad excuse). The math is becoming a drag, and I'm sure that college-level physics isn't easy at all. And don't even mention Chemistry because I failed that in high school.</p>
<p>I'm not sure if engineering is right for me anymore, although it still sparks a small interest. As I said before, I feel as though I'm pulling away from the math and sciences, but if I stick with it, I feel like maybe I would have to have more hands on experience to really understand math, physics, and engineering because honestly, anything abstract is really difficult for some reason. </p>
<p>For example, in math, the abstract theories are relatively simple once shown, but for me, it becomes so much more complicated. Today, I just learned finding the area under the curve both above and below the x-axis. We went through the whole thing of dividing [a,b] into equal parts and then doing the rectangles so that the smaller you make delta x, the better estimate it is. Then you do the whole sigma thing and end up having it the same notation as integral from a to b of the function (I think it's a pretty bad summary but those of you who did this hopefully know what I'm talking about). I just feel like none of that abstract stuff really appeals nor makes a lot of sense to me. I'm just more interested in finding the answer the "concrete" way. I know that the abstract stuff is sort of required to know in order to find the answer, but I just don't think it works out for me that well overall.</p>
<p>I've said too much but the thing is that I'm really thinking about changing my mind about this field. I just don't know if I should just yet because I would prefer spending 8 hours doing some math problems than writing a paper or reading a Shakespeare piece.</p>