So I did it. I got in. Columbia, my dream school. But I have this lingering thought above my head that I just can’t shake-did I deserve it? Why me? Should I have gotten in? There are questions that just can’t leave. I’m a published author, and i wrote where I was published but…were my pieces that good? When Harvard asked for supplements and I sent them, I ended up getting waitlisted. I talked about the research I was doing, sure. But was it that good? Did I make it sound better than it was? The fundraisers I wrote about on my activities list, we barely lifted them off the ground. How about my essay? Did I make my life sound harder than it really was? This should be a happy time for me but it isn’t. I feel such a weighted moroseness and guilt when i should be celebrating. I have a mental illness that makes me overthink things to the point of absurdity, so maybe that’s all it is. But things have taken a darker turn lately and i can’t figure out why.
If you got in you are deserving.
But please see a therapist ASAP.
If you want to talk to someone, you could call the Crisis Text Line. You just text “HOME” to 741741. I’ve heard it’s very helpful.
You have spent so much time dreaming and devoting time, effort and energy to secure a very desired outcome. You have been functioning at such a high pitch, that you will crash into worry. A personal example. I went straight through from preschool to a Ph. D. In my 20s. I was addressed as doctor when leaving final orals and stepped out into a sunny spring day. The clouds didn’t open and project a bright light. No deep voice proclaimed you are my beloved child. So now what!?! It took a bit of time to decompress, think, enjoy, relax and so on.
You have prevailed over your first of many hurdles. That is exciting and will be energizing, but becomes less emotionally and physica!!y traumatic.
Congratulations on admission to Columbia. Learn tons and enjoy yourself!!!Hurray!!
Sounds like classic post-adrenaline blues. Try to step away and fill your life with non-college-related activities. This will pass.
Take a little time and smell the roses. Please, speak to someone if you are truly feeling low.
You did it, don’t dwell, and try and celebrate!
:D/
To answer your question – YES. You deserve it. Google “imposter syndrome.” Mental illness or not, these are real feelings and they are really, truly incorrect.
My D just showed me an article about Imposter Syndrome. She feels that way as well. She got into 8/9 of her schools and many of her friends with similar stats did not fare as well.
We sat on a student panel recently at USC. One of the panelists told us that when he got to USC, he felt like everyone around him was smarter and more deserving than he was. He said he has to remind himself that usc saw something in him and that they thought he deserved to be there even if he didn’t. That’s not imposter syndrome but I think good advice nonetheless.
“After a time you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting.”–Spock
You may be having some old fashioned buyer’s remorse, too. The application process combined with HS senior year activities is stressful. So is thinking about moving away and leaving your HS teachers and friends behind. For many, it’s the first really tough bump in the road of life.
Start shopping for your dorm room, read all about Columbia, and plan for the next chapter of your education. You are strong and you can do this!
You worked your butt off to get into an Ivy! You deserve it! You did it! Congratulations! You are a special individual that Columbia thought would fit right in. They wanted YOU! Crazy amazing you! You can question it, but Columbia wouldn’t have accepted you if they weren’t sure!
@hayisforhorse @BennyBop @Marcie123 @mom2jgd @zannah @suzyQ7 Thank you for all your support. I have been seeing a therapist for a while now + taking meds. I also just found out I got into Stanford as well. I feel so underserving, as if these people think I’m better than I actually am 
I’m trying my best to be excited
If you did NOT have Imposter Syndrome, I would worry. I have done a couple hundred interviews at Fancypants U and every single admit had some self doubt. It’s a sign of sanity.
I would add that as you are deciding which school is your huckleberry, remember that the freshman year is all about managing change and dealing with dozens of new variables. The farther you move away from home, the more variables exist and dealing with even minors issues can turn molehills into mountains. Put together a support network during your first week on campus consisting of campus personnel, psychologist, and friends. There is also something to be said for having your school within a couple of hours from home so a family member can drive over and assist, if needed.
Oh, and you ARE deserving. Those schools see something in you that they don’t in tens of thousands of offers. Go get’em and good luck!!
Stanford, too? Congrats! Further confirmation that you really, truly deserve this opportunity. Trust that ivy league admissions officers are not dummies. If you don’t believe yourself, believe them!
I got into an Ivy as well (not Columbia) and I feel the exact same way. There are a lot of us out there, but I’m just trying to keep in mind that Columbia/Dartmouth wouldn’t have accepted anyone they believe wasn’t deserving. I relate hard, hang in there 
my, my. it’s like this post was written by me, lol. i feel the exact same way. i mean, if these schools didn’t want us and/or felt like we wouldn’t thrive there/don’t deserved to be there, they wouldn’t have admitted us, right? right? i’m not sure.
Imposter syndrome is real and it can follow you throughout life. The best description I can offer is that you are comparing your inside to someone else’s outside. In other words, all you see are the outward appearances of all the other people attending these prestigious schools. You imagine that their inner world is as polished and confident as they outward appearance. You know that you don’t feel as accomplished as they look. You are intimately aware of all the places where you polished your record or inflated the importance of some activity. You don’t realize that every single one of your peers has done the same and is feeling the exact same way. When they look at you, they are thinking, “how on earth can I belong in the same company as a published author?” Each of you is thinking that somehow you are the one person out of thousands who was somehow able to fool the admissions committee into believing that you are far more impressive then you actually are.
You are also now worrying that having received all of these accolades and opportunities, you must now excell beyond reason simply to justify their faith in you. You have to keep proving yourself over and over. I understand. The first time I ever received a perfect report card (8th grade), my parents wanted to celebrate, but I just cried. I assumed that everyone would expect even more of me each year and how could I possibly keep it up?
You are almost certainly a perfectionist. The first time someone used that term in relation to me, I laughed and said, “but I can’t be. I don’t do anything perfectly.” Perfectionists live in fear of making a mistake or letting people down.
Talking to a counselor can help with these feelings, but its also very helpful just to recognize them. Understand them for what they are…normal, and perfectly understandable. Also, please remember that everyone else is feeling the same way. You just can’t see it.
@gallentjill This made me feel a lot better. I actually shared this with a couple of friends who might be feeling the same way. Thank you for your comforting words.
Thank you! I’m so glad my words helped. You have remarkable things ahead.
Good advice by Gallantjill poster. The way I look at it, you will be opening up spots to many deserving kids at many schools when you decline and choose only one. That’s not so bad. If you feel guilty or undeserving, let that be an impetus to contribute and help people around you.