My son did it four years ago in Tennessee. It was a shock to him, a right-wing politically tinged week for sure. It was pretty rough for him at first and I don’t think he would have applied had he known what was in store.
However, he found his people, got elected to a top office, and made the best of it. He’s still in contact with several of the guys and learned a little bit about getting along with those that he shared little in common.
By (the now end of) Day 2 you probably have a pretty “good” sense of how things are run 
. I remember my daughter checking in in the morning, and already working on “local election campaigns” that evening. By the second day, the program was in full swing.
That lowers the bar for me.
You know, pre-pandemic I would have been much more of the mindset to try to stick it out. Now that my kids missed out on so much, I am far less interested in seeing them suffer through something for reasons no one can really articulate. I would rather see you relax and enjoy a week doing nothing vs be miserable because of the questionable and possibly outdated agenda of an organization.
You sound as if you aren’t a quitter and are pretty independent. You didn’t take this spot from someone else at your school and you aren’t jeopardizing a relationship with someone who recommended you. If you have gone through two whole days and are still feeling uncomfortable, then trust your gut.
There are a couple of really negative reports about it on this thread alone, so it sounds like you are far from the only person to have bad experience at Boys State.
Honestly, thank you. I’m not a quitter and I’m the sort of person determined to always fight to the end, but here “the end” just seems so meaningless, not like a competition, etc. I thought I’d meet many friends, and people aren’t bad, but no one really shares my passion for government and most everyone is here for the college credit (which isn’t really important to me, aside from the fact that it’s an elective credit and not acceptable everywhere if I’m correct).
You sound like you’d like to find a reason to stick it out even though you aren’t enjoying it.
Can you see enough humor in it to write a funny account of your experience? (Way back when, my friends and I would write hysterical letters regaling each other with whatever new misery had found us at school/camp etc. It had a way of turning anything horrible- from breakfast to a prof - into productive material and a private laugh.) Are there good people there you can chuckle and commiserate with? Because it has a natural end, if you choose to endure, find a way to enjoy it and get something out of it. This can include clarifying what you don’t want/like.
The people are a big part of it. No one’s bad, but no one is really passionate about the things I’m passionate about (which I thought was the whole point). I understand that, but I’m not sure if it’s worth spending a week here. I’m determined and not a quitter, but there’s no real point to remaining, the way I see it.
It’s also much less academic than I thought it would be.
By the time you read this, you’ll be in the second day. How will you feel if you leave now? I’m wondering if you will regret it. If you leave, I’m assuming you will find a worthwhile way to spend your time.
I’ve been reading your replies here. You seem thoughtful and invested in the idea of why you came. Is there no opportunity to still get as much as you can out of that idea? Is there a way for you to make an impact there? I had a look at a Boys state schedule. It seems there are plenty of things to be involved in.
You’ve stated more than once that there are some nice people but that no one else is interested in the reason you’re all there. Are you sure you just haven’t met that person?
Bear in mind that by leaving, you won’t be putting it on your college app. That’s not a big deal in itself. If you leave, you may miss an opportunity to participate in some cool things that could shed light on your interests and which may be relevant to your college goals. Just because others aren’t making the most of it doesn’t mean you can’t. Best of luck.
The alternative is that you will sit home watching tik-tok, which you likely already did during the pandemic. Stick it out and practice interpersonal skills with people not like you-it is a good thing to master.
He has an internship that he said he preferred to be be doing, so TikTok clearly isn’t his only alternative.
He has experienced homelessness and domestic violence. He is concerned because someone has already been “outed” for their home situation. He feels demoralized. I respect both sets of advice (supporting leaving or encouraging staying), but not when they are couched in contempt.
No contempt, just realistic. The internship was previously; he is unlikely to be able to re-start that with no notice for a remaining few days. A serious problem with covid was kids not being able to interact with others and their social skills declined; OP was clear that he was not endangered in any way just felt he didnt mesh with other campers. Spending 3 or 5 extra days with those you didnt mesh with is not the end of the world and could be a good learning experience.
He should talk to the counselor if he has concerns about the counselor’s actions.
All that the poor OP will learn from this post is that adults will argue endlessly about what he did or didn’t do and pass judgement on either.
OP, you described the sunk cost fallacy very eloquently as one of your reasons for wanting to leave. That’s very mature thinking for a high school student. That’s my judgement, if you want it. Do what you want to do as long as it’s productive.
He asked for opinions, and got them. People will naturally disagree. My kids grew a lot from being in situations where they were with different kinds of people even if it was outside their comfort zone at first.
I agree OP sounds mature and talented. He will be surrounded by people unlike him regardless of which college he attends and there is value in acquiring that skill early on. As mentioned upthread, one might be able to look on the week with humor, or in clarification of what he doesnt want to do in the future.
Perhaps because I have children at home and only one grown child, my understanding of what the OP wrote is that the particular program that he is attending is a weak and poorly-run program, not a comment on his ability to get along with children different from himself. I didn’t see that in his commentary.
There are many, many poorly run summer programs available to children and high school students. The quality ones are few and far between, unfortunately.
ETA: The fact that the OP hasn’t returned is probably a good sign. A lot of quality programs take a day or an acclimation period to get off the ground. If that’s all it is, then good for all of the above!
Not sure if in his district High School is already over. I may have misunderstood - but it sounded as if he had to get permission from his guidance counselor, even if his school is not participating directly.
In that case, he would have to go back to the last few days of classes, not watching tik-tok.
This is such a weird assumption to me. Most kids these days are super busy with all sorts of things - internships, classes, volunteering, part time jobs, sports. Look at just about any Chance Me post on CC - these kids aren’t just twiddling their thumbs all summer long. So then what if they do watch Tik Tok in their free time? Right now I’m personally binge watching 90210 on Pluto TV (only because I’m too old for Tik Tok). At the end of a long work day, I need something mindless. Some people meditate to reset their brains, others watch low stakes videos. So what? Why assume it’s all or nothing?
@DigitalDad I think he meant that the meeting with the guidance counselor was to check the appropriate boxes for Boys State, not getting special permission to miss school. He was doing an internship last week, so I was thinking he was out of school for the summer. He didn’t mention the internship being over or only for a week, so if he does decide to leave, he may have the opportunity to return to it.
To the OP, I hope that whatever decision you made, it gave you peace!
In that case, I see no negative repercussions to make whatever decision feels sensible.
PS: He mentioned people earning “3 credits”, I’m not familiar with that “motivator” in our state. How does that work? They earn credits on their high school transcript? In my opinion that is detrimental to the spirit of the program as it attracts the wrong audience - as his impressions seem to confirm.
I hope he stuck it out and enjoys it more. The first day or 2 of an activity ( camp, college, work,sports team) may not provide an accurate reflection of the experience. The opportunity cost of staying in, compared to likely alternative, sounds like zero
I hope he left; even for HS students, life’s too short to be miserable participating in an activity which is, per his description, utterly pointless. And of all the possible activities to put on a college app, Boys State would be way way down the list in terms of importance.
One kid won an Oscar from it, then an internship with the DNC chairman. As in most things, it is what you make of it.
The first day or two of many jobs may be miserable.