I am currently around a day into Boys’ State and I hate it. No one seems to care, one of our counselors is horrible and outed someone else having an absent parent to the rest of us to make a point, etc.
My whole pitch as a person is tenacity, making it through things that most people my age never do. Homelessness, domestic violence, etc. I love government and I thought this would be an amazing opportunity but I’m just hating the thing and, while there are some nice people, I just feel lonely. It’s embarrassing because I’ve lived through worse but I just want out.
Is Boys’ State amazing on college applications? Is it really worth it? Would it be horrible to ask to leave?
My daughter felt similarly about a RYLA (Rotary Youth) camp that she attended. To her, it felt like some weird group think indoctrination where people were lauded for exposing their emotional trauma. She hated it and it was a week-long struggle. As with Boys State, others had very different experiences.
Why don’t you give it one more day? Have you had a lot of experience being away from home before? Could you set it up as a challenge for yourself?
As a parent, I would likely encourage you to stick with it, but also acknowledge that you may leave feeling like you got nothing out of it.
I am sure others will have a bit more wisdom, but you are not alone in struggling at a leadership camp. One thing that my daughter (and I) took away from it is a better understand of what makes her unique and different from other kids.
Leaving on day 1? Unless you are being abused, threatened, or are in danger, this seems like an overreaction. We all have to learn how to deal with situations we don’t love. It’s part of life.
It’s one week. What were you doing a week ago? Stick it out. You might end up hating the whole thing, but I am sure you’ll get something valuable out of it. It may not be clear now what that is, and it may not be what you expected.
Boy’s State by itself is a minor blip for college application purposes. The question is whether it teaches you something about yourself and your interaction with others. Might also be a good source of material for essays.
Leave ASAP. I did Boys’ State years ago and it was a colossal waste of time, pretty much for the reasons you’ve stated. Participating will have virtually no effect on your college applications, as most colleges are well-aware of what a waste of time it is.
There’s no need to be miserable, especially for an activity like this. Leave now, and spend the time you’ve gained studying for your SATs.
Not to diminish your own first hand experience, but I would argue that this student could spend his time doing a million things better than studying for the SAT, especially as most colleges are now test optional.
This was years ago, but I was a Boys State participant. I learned a bit about how our state government worked, but more importantly I met a bunch of very diverse kids from my state. While I went to a public HS, it was an affluent suburban school that would be typical Mid Atlantic. There were students from inner cities and students from the rural counties that would read more southern. For me, making 1 week friends with kids I would never had hung with was a positive. Just don’t know how bad the OP’s Boys State is being run. If it is abusive, then no sense staying just for college app purposes.
As you point out, it’s a state by state thing. Here’s our(there were six of us who went) experience:
We were told by the local American Legion guy that it would be a week of learning about government in all its different aspects, with many “esteemed” guest lecturers, and that we would have a chance to meet others from around the state, study various issues in government, engage in debate on those issues, and then create an election system and then run that election.
Here’s what happened: None of the above. The Boys State took place on a soon-to-be decommissioned military base and was run by the state American Legion, and the commandant(I’m pretty sure that was his title) of the AL decided how the camp was run. He was a former Marine, so he invited Marine DIs to run the camp. So we got up every day at 4am for PT, then marched(yep, they spent hours screaming, er, teaching us to march) to meals, etc etc. The Marine DIs, understandably, had no interest in any of the nonsense about government, etc-they were there to act like what they were, Marine DIs. The instructors at the lectures were 90% military, with little or no mention of government of any kind. And yes, it was like the military; everybody got to pull “fire watch” which meant getting four hours sleep as you’d be “on duty” for four hours, watching for fires, which made the 4am PT particularly amusing. And heaven help you if you fell asleep in class, as you were guaranteed to have DIs screaming in your ear and then ordering you to “give me 20”.
There was zero time to socialize; you were assigned to a “barracks”-and that’s what they were, basically barns with no AC in the mid-July heat-and you had no interaction with students in other barracks. And the zero socialization applied to your barracks, too-there was no time to do anything but clean the place, under the constant and vocal supervision of your DI. We had “inspection” twice a day, and there was hell to pay if we didn’t pass. It was the old parochial school type of punishment; if one person’s “rack” was out of order, everybody got to run 2 miles.
The above is a very short summary. And if you want to be a Marine-hey, knock yourself out. But none of use were told that this would be our Boys State experience-a mini(and I’m certain much less intense) bootcamp experience.
When we got back, the guy from the AL who recruited us wanted feedback. I was the last person to speak with him. He was besides himself upset, not just by the details of how it was run, but by the fact that everyone before me to told him that they felt conned by him, as the camp was nothing like what he represented. Apparently the previous five really laid into him. So he told me this, and it was clear he didn’t want to hear anymore negative reviews. With nothing to say, our “conversation” last a few seconds.
I don’t know how hour state runs in. In our state, each school could nominate only one b/g - so it was an implicit, strong endorsement of that student (especially since they were excused from classes for a week). It was run on an university campus - and my daughter came back gushing how inspiring it had been for her to be surrounded by all these exceptional young people and seeing how engaged, mature and sincere they were.
Now, clearly, this is not how things are going for you on day 1. But, given your “pitch as a person”, maybe it’s too early to call it quits based on the counselor, and see how the interaction with your peers will come together.
But, yes, if you decide you must leave, Boys’/Girls’ State is just one of possibly many “stand-outs” on your application. Except for very competitive colleges, or certain majors, it might make little-to-no difference.
I shudder to imagine what a soccer match organized by the DIs would have been like…so I stick with my advice: get out now. It’s not going to help your college apps at all, and why be miserable for a week?
I don’t think Boy’s State is going to be such an amazing activity that it will make or break a college application. It’s an activity.
But I worry about an early withdrawal from the program and the spectacle it may create. Were you nominated by a teacher or guidance counselor at your school? Teachers and staff talk, and if you gain a reputation (fairly or unfairly) as a “quitter” it could come back to bite you when letters of recommendation are being written.
I know at your age that a week might seem like an eternity, but I’d urge you to just make the best of it and complete the week.
In our case, there was a commitment to briefly attend the local post’s meetings afterwards to give a little talk to the members on how it went, since they were effectively sponsoring you. So, if someone’s state’s organization is way off the chart, that feedback should certainly get back to both the local post, and of course, the high school, to hopefully affect a change for future years.
I have to disagree; that’s the same thinking which kept me locked into an excruciating experience-when the reality was nobody cared. And when the teacher who organized it at my school heard what happened, he was extremely upset, as he felt that he, too, had been conned.
If “counselors” are “outing” people and it’s only day one-it’s time to leave. Again, there is little or nothing special about Boys State.
As noted, we all gave feedback to the local post’s rep; I have no idea how or if this was passed on to the post itself. But the state commandant, who was present during the week, was clearly pleased with himself and with how the camp was run. So it wasn’t just “someone” it was the head of the state AL who was running things.
As far as the HS went, we gave our feedback and that, I think, ended our HS’s participation.
Another day might be good, I just don’t to reach the point where I’m doing it just because I invested time into it before. I’ve had some experience away from home and I’m generally independent enough that it’s not that.
It is definitely a personal challenge, I just don’t know if it’s worth it. It feels like such a demoralizing exercise with no real point, not like the competitions and things I’ve entered before that felt like they mattered.
I arrived yesterday, so Day II. I suppose you’re right, but I felt like I was more productive last week doing my internship and living life freely aside from that.
I was not nominated, I had the necessary counselor interview but my school doesn’t typically participate. I doubt they’d ever care that I decided not to participate.
I will say that while my experience does not seem as positive as some other folks who have attended elsewhere, I do believe that the fundamental issue isn’t Boys’ State itself. It’s just not quite for me, maybe. Part of it is the lack of control or just generally being treated like a child to the extent that they do. I mostly run my own life and was even the main household financial provider for a brief time last summer. I was hoping to be surrounded by people with my passion for public service and government but most people seem disinterested and just in it for the three credit hours of elective credit or because they were pressured into it.