<p>"On my job, if I perform exceptionally well, I get a very nice merit bonus. "</p>
<p>You’re lucky; if I perform exceptionally well, I get a mediocre merit bonus. If I perform well or less than well - I get no bonus. 
Wah!</p>
<p>I’ve been told by my kids that their friends do get money, expensive gifts when they get good report cards. [ My son was pretty annoyed that his friend got a new cell phone for just getting B’s on his report card, while he got nothing for getting all A’s. And this is in middle school!].</p>
<p>We’ve always followed the policy that studying hard and doing well in school is just what they need to do - we don’t pay for this. However, we do all go out for dinner and celebrate when they get a good report card.</p>
<p>I don’t think a couple dollars for a good report card is bad. Going to dinner to celebrate is good. I am not talking about thousands of dollars of gifts! But for a college student to ask for a higher grade? The college student is making herself look silly.</p>
<p>Our family has had a low level “bonus” (not bribery) program going on for a few generations. However, the program is “run” from aunt/uncles to neices/nephews so there’s no parental involvement.</p>
<p>I’d describe it more as an "Atta boy/Atta girl!) effort. The lucky student gets money for academic classes only, so much for an A, less for a B, a C reverses payment for an A, all bets are off if there are any Ds. Payments come at the end of the semester. Occasionally, there will be a “surprise” payment for an outstanding effort. For example, after getting 5,5,4 on his AP exams, my S got an out of the blue check in the mail from his aunt (and his grandmother as well.)</p>
<p>These aren’t huge amounts of money, usually around $20-25 or so. But it gives him extra pocket money, a smile on his face and a spring in his step to know that the other generations give recognition to his efforts.</p>
<p>I did the same for my nephew.</p>
<p>My child could never, ever be motivated for some sort of material thing. Just not in her.</p>
<p>Moreover it sends the wrong message. You should be doing it for other reasons, not external rewards. A whole host of research shows the best way to KILL internal motivation and intrinsic satisfaction for a task is to give external rewards. </p>
<p>BTW, I can tell ya as a professor, no way the Dean could influence grades of a class. In fact, making such a fuss is going to make her look pretty petty. I’d much rather my child be considered of high character and have the Dean and her professors know her as an outstanding, mature student, not a whiner or grinder. I will bet she’d have a hard time getting some glowing rec letters if she ever needed them for a job or graduate school. Very short sighted of her.</p>
<p>Nope, never did it. Not for HS, not for college.</p>
<p>I never understood the idea. Similarly, we did not pay for chores. A kid got allowance because he is a member of the family and we share resources; same kid was responsible for certain chores because he is a member of the family and we share responsibilities. Never tied the two. It worked out for us. (though we heard often about other families that did it differently)</p>
<p>FindAPlace - it is nice your family is so close. We are kind of similar, I am close with my siblings and we are very close to each others kids. The down side is we take every niece and nephews’ triumphs and tribulations to heart - every year we have a kid applying to college for the next 5 years.</p>
<p>A bribe to a teacher is a drop in the bucket considering the tuition we are paying - but none seemed interested.</p>
<p>What kills me is that we pay all this tuition and end up with a GPA and test score no better then the local public - worse actually because to the lack of grade inflation and harder workload.</p>
<p>No chores requirements, no allowances, no bribery makes life much easier. If you do these, you have to keep track. Does not it take more efforts/resources than otherwise?</p>
<p>In order to get your driver’s license in our house, there is a certain level of responsibility that needs to be displayed, one of them is getting good grades(they are set at what each child is ABLE to achieve with a little work). First two were never a problem. Third child slacked off most of last semester. As his birthday approached, he realized he needed to pull out the grades to get the license. Amazingly, he got nearly all 100s the last two weeks of the semester!! Unfortunately, it was too late to make up for the lackluster performance earlier in the semester and sadly, he is not getting his license for his birthday. He has six weeks to improve the grades for another go at it. The last two weeks showed us all what he was truly capable of when he didn’t slack off! We have found that money was not a motivator for grades, but driving is!</p>
<p>I don’t believe in bribes. There’s a lot of research out there that shows it’s more effective to teach people why a certain behavior is desirable than to pay someone. My oldest got pretty darn good grades (in the top 10 of a class of over 600), and in addition taught himself computer programming on his own. We occasionally celebrate good grades by going out to a favorite restaurant, but it’s not a given by any means.</p>
<p>In principal I agree that paying for grades is a bad idea. The grades themselves should be their own reward. I never offered bribes to my older two boys and never needed to. They understand the value of good grades and also the consequences of bad grades. We sometimes take them out to dinner to celebrate good grades, and that’s about it.</p>
<p>However, with my youngest S (now 12) I have learned to never say never. Things that motivate my older ones do NOT motivate him. He has lost computer privileges, video game privileges, and still brings home mediocre grades. Worse, he doesn’t seem to care. In desperation I offered a bribe for A’s, but that hasn’t worked either. Second semester just ended and he has yet to get an A outside of PE. </p>
<p>So in our case, bribery was not really effective. However, he has other issues going on. (He just started medication for ADHD about a month ago, and we are seeing some improvement, but I attribute that to the meds and not the bribes).</p>
<p>We tried bribing one kid into taking the college offer with a great finaid offer with it. We “offered” a car, and the purchase of a condo in the college town when the kid was a soph or junior. Kid chose the more expensive school.</p>
<p>Bribery never worked with my kids. BUT we did take them out to dinner on the last day of school each year for a job well done. Does that count?</p>
<p>I never got bribed for grades. This is good, because I’m pretty certain that it wouldn’t have worked. I never really cared about my grades beyond making sure I never got a C until this semester when (whoops!) my GPA dropped just below the threshold for my honors program in college so that I’m on probation until I raise it. Parents are annoyed about it, and the excrement will hit the fan if I actually fall out of it, but overall I think I was more angry at myself than either parent was when I got the news in December. </p>
<p>Another point to consider is that of over-rewarding. If the kid is getting the grades for the extra cash, they’re likely to lose interest in the actual /subject./ This can be problematic. </p>
<p>An interesting article on the subject can be found below. </p>
<p>[Should</a> You Reward Good Grades? | Scholastic.com](<a href=“http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=3745989]Should”>http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=3745989)</p>
<p>Some of my child’s high school friends got $1,000.00 per A and a lavish visit to a 5 star resort with friends. Even if I could have afforded bribes of that level, alas I have kids who just will not be bribed, either by material things or special privileges/trips. Although both are now in college and are pretty much in charge of their own GPA destiny (aside from the beginning of the semester “motivational” speech from Mom), there were PLENTY of times in high school that I would have bribed them if it would have worked. Kids do what they WANT to do.</p>
<p>didn’t pay for grades, but did reward effort and grades with something special…sometimes a family dinner out, a mini shopping spree (daughter) or a coveted gift, (video game) depending on the accomplishment the reward was in line with its size. it created a culture of excitement about achievement, and a feeling that our family celebrated each others’ special moments. We also celebrate 1/2 birthdays (with half a cake) I always think there is enough stress in life…when there is something to be joyful about go for it…my three kids have thrived on this approach and as different as they are, they all have appreciated this approach</p>
<p>At our house, it is called a pat on the back. Two of my kids knew what school they wanted to attend since middle and had great grades and the other one did what he could to get by. They all got into college and are doing fine. Either your kids are motived and mature enough to work hard in high school, or they are not, and that comes from within. We also have done a celebratory dinner for a year well done, but I don’t consider that a bribe. I have found that my kids are so proud of their hard work. It’s that inner pride with which I am more pleased, rather than the grade. We also tell them for the price of their tuitions, we expect a certain GPA, but that’s not a bribe, it’s reality.</p>
<p>“S1, no “bribery” needed. S2, no “bribery” worked.”</p>
<p>Pack: we should introduce your sons to my daughters who appear to have been separated at birth…</p>
<p>One more thought…although not evident on CC, there are some kids who no matter how hard they work, are not “A” students…some have mentioned “rewards” for effort or improvement…IMO that makes alot of sense…especially if a “B” student is getting frustrated after putting the work in and not seeing the results he/she expected…</p>
<p>also, there are some kids that don’t “get” that intrinsic motivation…who knows why? What’s weird (and I’m sure Packmom can relate to) is when one kid is intensely motivated and the other one could care less…</p>
<p>Having been brought up in a household where grades determined the quality of your person- I chose to base our “philosophy” on the comments by the teachers. My kids didn’t even realize that they were “grades” mattered until 5th grade- and sadly it was a rude awakening for all of us. I did however, try (and in those early years it was definately a battle) to teach them that the daily homeworks, reading or whatever that was assigned were important and not optional. I do remember some bribery going on in middle school just to avoid some of those daily battles. My husband didn’t like coming home to a stressful house in the evenings so we always had the rule of homework done before dinner. Obviously by highschool they were on their own- but they rarely have stayed up till all hours doing an assignment and I feel like they learned valuable lessons about their work ethic and to this day- they like having their school work done so they can relax at least a while in the evening. We used to celebrate at the end of each grading period with an ice cream for a job well done. And though it’s kind of embarrasing to admit- I collected all the nice comments from their teachers over the years, typed them up and put them in their scrapbook so that they can be reminded of the “good” things that their teachers had to say about them. I guess in a way my philosphy was “count your pennies and your dollars will fall into place”. Pay attention, do your homework, learn good work habbits and the grades will fall into place.</p>
<p>However- for the record- I still hate grades, I still hate that the kids are judged by them and that any kid (including mine) have to focus on “the grade”.</p>
<p>We never bribed for grades, perhaps because we never had to. </p>
<p>We did, however, offer “incentives” for batches of college applications completed …</p>