Is depression reported on my school record?

Applying to College
1

In sophomore year, I was pretty depressed and stressed. Things spiraled downward and culminated in me writing a suicide note.

Unfortunately and rather stupidly, I wrote it on my school Google Drive account. The school tracks the usage of cuss words on students’ school Drives and I had cussed a few times in that note. Long story short, I was “expelled” for three days for being a liability to the school and had to have a psych eval to come back.

I think this “attempt” would go on my school record, but I’m not 100% sure. If it is on my record, would colleges label me a liability and reject me?

I don’t want mental health issues to be the deciding factor in my application, but I know colleges will worry whether I’m going to pull something like this again. Should I write an essay about overcoming depression or clarify it in the additional information section?

Thanks in advance!

2

Before writing any sort of explanation, I recommend meeting with your principal to see if that truly is on your record. Also, by no means should you make that your main essay.

3

Did your sophomore grades take a big drop? If so you may want a GC to explain that in a letter of rec which would require revealing the situation. Did you get counselling after that incident?

4

@TomSrOfBoston They actually improved from my freshman year grades, haha. I had mostly As in pre IB/pre AP/AP courses in 10th grade.

I didn’t get counseling after that incident mostly because I never told anyone, but I did overcome it in the sense that I’m not as severely depressed anymore. Would that still be valid, or would I need actual psychiatric proof that my mental health improved?

5

@ConcernedRabbit Thanks, I’ll definitely shoot him an email. My main essay is about my love of language, so I’m trying to stay as far away from depression as I can.

6

“not as severely depressed anymore” is absolutely not the same thing as “cured”-- or even “a lot better.”

I realize you don’t want mental health issues to be a deciding factor in your admissions. Honestly, as a parent, I’m a lot more concerned about them being an overriding part of your life.

Counseling is your best route.

7

@bjkmom
Yeah. I’ve thought about reaching out a lot but the prospect of telling my parents is terrifying and there’s a lot of stigma against mental health in my community. I guess I just need to suck it up and talk.

If I haven’t gotten counseling yet, would I be even more of a liability in colleges’ eyes?

8

I don’t think college will know unless it gets to the point where they need to know, or unless you tell them.

But can I speak on behalf of your parents? My daughter has anxiety, and it would bother me to my very soul if I thought that she needed help but was afraid to ask for it.

Please, let your parents know. You haven’t done anything wrong, no more than if your blood sugar numbers suddenly started to climb because of Type II Diabetes.

But talk to your parents. Or, if that’s too hard, print up this thread and hand it to them.

You deserve to be happy. Getting counseling is the first step in that direction.

9

A professor that I know once said to me that he thinks that the majority of his most thoughtful and intelligent students have at some point in their life struggled with depression. This is a common problem.

I would urge you to get counseling to talk about the depression. Also, you should talk to officials at your school (possibly your guidance counselor) about whether anything will show up on your record. However, I doubt that it will and I doubt that any problem will show up on your academic record (or on anything that the universities will see). However, you need to understand that this problem could return at some point, and that there are resources available to help you deal with it. You should not be embarrassed nor reluctant to ask for help.

To slightly mis-quote @bjkmom: You deserve to be happy. Getting counseling is important insurance to help you continue in that direction.

10

OP, in your honest opinion…do you think you are better? Let me explain.

In my freshman year, one of my close friends was severely depressed (self-harm, suicide notes, ect), so the point where she hit the low point and was standing on the roof of her two story house ready to jump onto the concrete below. She told me that she stayed there for a while…unable to think, to act, just staying there. And then she started crying, and then she called her brother, who had gone off to college.

I don’t know what they talked about, but I do know that since that day, she has not seen a therapist, she hasn’t self-harmed, and she hasn’t written another note. I don’t think her parents ever found out either.

She is happier now, and far more open about her tendencies to spiral downward. Her group of friend, including me, also are always there for her if she feels the need to talk, or if she ever slips into a bad place (which does happen on occasion). But overall, she is better.

OP, I’m not saying that therapy is bad, or that you shouldn’t see a therapist if you genuinely think you need one. What I am saying is that you don’t “need” to see a therapist to get better. The question is, do you still think you are in the extreme you were sophomore year? Or do you think that you’ve grown in such a way that you don’t believe you are at risk to fall into the same dark place.

You state that you think you’ve improved, which leads me to think that you might not need counseling. In that case, simply write it off as maybe stupid teenage hormones messing with your head. Don’t let that moment define you. I can name at least five people who have attempted, or almost but were stopped, and never saw a therapist. They are all fine people today. All of these incidents occurred Freshman-sophomore year. I suspect you are like them.

You’re a teenager. There are hormones messing with you. Stuff happens. Try to see if it is on your record. If it isn’t then there is no need to address it. If it is, you go from there.

Good luck.

11

With all due respect, possibly the worst advice ever.

@ConcernedRabbit , when you say the OP doesn’t need therapy to get better, is that a clinical diagnosis? Are you medically qualified to are that judgement based on a post on a message board? Are you willing to live with the ciponsequences if you’re wrong?

For that matter, are you sure your friend is “cured?” Or just “OK so far?”

I have a friend in AA who hasn’t had a drink since 1991. She can’t say for certain that she’s cured, merely that she hasn’t had a drink today and will try not to,have one tomorrow. She goes to a meeting every single day to help insure it.

I had Brest cancer in 2008. I can’t say it won’t return, merely that it hasn’t yet. I get a mammogram every single year on the surviving breast, just in case.

I know lots of people who have survived depression. And 2 since Christmas who didn’t.

Someone depressed enough to write and post a suicide note may very well need help. Maybe not. But as a parent, I’m going to strongly urge that the decision come from a competent therapist, not a stranger on a message board.

OP, I repeat: please have the conversation with your parents.

12

They expelled you for depression? Expel is permanent.

Or suspended you for some misuse of the Google drive? And you say it was a liability concern…but all you needed was an eval? Not counseling, to come back? The "liability " went away? Ummm.

Talk to your GC. We wouldn’t know your svhool policy.

ConcernedRabbit, “you don’t “need” to see a therapist to get better…”

Please. You don’t know this.

13

@lookingforward

Suspension is a better word, I’m sorry. It wasn’t for misuse of Google Drive but because I was a flight risk. The “liability” went away because I signed something saying that the school wasn’t at fault if I killed myself – I don’t remember the exact document or the procedure.

Other than that, I needed to have a psych eval proclaiming that I was no longer a risk to myself in order to return to school. I lied through my teeth on that eval just so I could get back to school – I didn’t want to miss finals because of a dumb mistake.

I don’t know the school’s policy on things of this nature, but I’m a student in very good standing (top 5% of the class) and have never had any disciplinary incidences or emotional problems. Maybe that’s why they let me off relatively easily? Either way, I’m not making up a story, I promise.

I am going to talk to my principal and see what he says. Thanks for your advice.

14

@bjkmom
Thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it. I don’t know when, but I’ll definitely talk to my parents. This isn’t going to go away on its own. I don’t know whether I’ll get counseling just because I’ve done better so far without it and it’s so expensive, but I will have someone to turn to.

15

@shrimpgod: No, the depression cannot be on your record and disclosed to anyone without your express written permission. HIPPA law protects this type of information from being disclosed. You could very literally sue the crap out of the school district for such a violation. So, don’t worry about that happening, if you do want to keep the info private.

I would also echo the general super solid advice here that you do indeed get a little professional consultation. That, too, won’t be divulged to anyone without your express written permission, if that’s a concern. Who knows, maybe you’ll find yourself in the profession some day as psychology and psychiatry are excellent job growth majors!

16

@ConcernedRabbit

Honestly, I feel like I’ve improved a /lot/. I still get pretty down and I’m not as open about it as I should be. But it’s nowhere near as extreme as it was sophomore year and I am able to recognize a trough in my mood and take action against it much more successfully.

I don’t know about therapy. I’ll try it out in college and see how it goes. I’m a pretty private person, so I wonder about the effectivity of talking to a total stranger.

I’ll email my principal or counselor. Hopefully, it’s not an issue and I can move on.

17

Our insurance covers my daughter’s therapy…it costs us a $25 copay for each visit. Less tha it would cost to treat my family to McDonalds.

Please. Print up your post and give it to your parents tonight.

18

Honestly, I’m pretty sure his parents know. I don’t think that any person could get suspended for writing a suicide note without parents finding out. I’m guessing that night was probably one of the worst nights of OP’s life…given how the school handled it. Sounds like they acted more in fear of being sued by OP’s parents for his suicide rather than out of genuine concern for OP’s life.

19

@ConcernedRabbit They found out about the note. I didn’t tell them about the depression/bad moods that had led up to it, or anything else. I lied and claimed it was an impulse driven by bad grades so I could get back to school and take my finals. I’m sorry for all the miscommunication. When I tell my parents, it’ll be about the underlying problem, not about the note since they already know.

20

@rwmannesq @DadTwoGirls

Thanks for the suggestions! I will try to implement them in the future. I realize I need to fix this permanently somehow and counseling is probably the most effective route.

It’s relieving to know that colleges won’t find out about it – I was really worried that I would be denied admission because of this issue. Yeah, I might go into psychology or neuroscience or something – that sounds interesting!