I mean seriously, OP could full pay for both girls at the most expensive schools in the country without ever touching his annual income and still have well over a million in non-retirement assets when it’s all over. It’s ridiculous for him to even think that schools should cut him a break and take away funds from kids that actually NEED it.
I think what some full pay families (including ours) get upset about is the price of a private elite university. Period. Yes, I know families have choices but, if the kids can get into a top school, it’s hard to choose something else. So, while the OP seems mad that he’s not eligible for need based aid, it’s still a hard pill to swallow to pay $75,000 a year for college. In this case, it’s times two at the same time. That’s not chump change for someone in his financial position. I think his main gripe should just be the price of these schools, not that he won’t get aid. But nothing is to be done about that right now.
Some families in this financial situation say that they are happy they saved, that they planned for college to be expensive and are proud that they are able to afford it. Other families, including the OP, have had financial success and been frugal and it’s still very hard to put out full price psychologically. You all know that Warren Buffett still lives in his tiny house from years ago, right? Lots of wealthy people aren’t spenders. Hint: That’s how they become wealthy. Many people with the OP’s situation have been frugal their whole lives and then butt up against these huge college prices if they have bright kids who can into elite schools.
I try to remind myself that, at most of these schools, a large percentage of families are full pay. And these schools usually spend more per student than the cost to full pay families. Another segment of the families who have kids at some of these schools are taking big loans to go there. We are thankful we aren’t in that position. The last group of kids really, really need the money and are hopefully getting grants and not loans to cover everything.
So, is it comfortable to write a check for $37,000 every six months for a family who has been frugal for years and years? No, it’s not. Making the decision to do that is a big deal. My only concern about @Al73 is that he didn’t put more thought into this earlier. He was listening to his friends say they all got discounts. He may find himself backed into a corner come April with Rutgers vs. full pay elite school and that’s a rough go if it hasn’t been decided upon early on that the family is willing to pay for the more expensive option. I hope he will just come to terms with it in the next few months and then honestly be able to offer his kids the gift of sending them to whichever school they want come spring.
This is where parents can be doing a much, much better job. A top school isn’t necessarily the one with a $75K/yr price tag. Cost does not necessarily equate to quality. If you don’t want to pay full sticker, be honest and tell your kid that up front. Don’t apply to those “top schools” where having to say “no” would be heartbreak. Then there is no disappointment.
IMO, these conversations need to start way sooner with our kids.
@Al73 - can you clarify please- How much do you have in each child’s 529 plan? The younger one is only in 5th grade so you could use that $ now and replenish it if need be . You mentioned elsewhere that you put $250/mo in their 529s plus bonus $, which is at least $50K for the twins if that has been since birth. Have other contributions been made, and perchance, do the grandparents also have a 529 for them? $70k/year full pay sure stings, but if at least $15k or more is covered by 529s, its not quite as painful.
posted in November:
Posted in September:
Which is it…bonuses…or no bonuses! Not that it matters. You are fortunate to have $120,000 in each twins bank account. That’s $30,000 a year EACH in those accounts that can be allocated to college costs. That’s terrific. So really, you are needing to figure out how to fund the remaining $40,000 a year for those very costly schools. Right?
And @Al73- can you clarify- when you said “yes” did you mean spouse works for Rutgers or “yes” that it covers full tuition for kids of those who do.
Too many personal questions. It seems this thread has drifted off basic topic.
Asking for clarification isn’t “personal”.
Yes and yes.
By " bonus" I mean proceeds from vested stock options sale. I do not have cash bonus.
What a wonderful tuition benefit for your kids! Excellent to know that option is totally available, and room and board costs could be paid from the 529 accounts!
Thank you for the bonus explanation. I know you have mentioned that you don’t see this continuing…but might it?
I think you will have some merit aid options on the table come April from some of the schools that give merit aid.
Need based aid…not likely…anywhere.
I know one applied EA to GT. Hoping there are other EA schools in the mix with merit possibilities. Maybe they will hear early from some places…along with aid…and can start making some decisions.
I understand that it may be a tough pill to swallow when paying full cost for college…when one has $1.9 million in non-retirement assets and an income of $360,000. Those checks can be tough to write even for these families. Understood.
It’s an even tougher pill to swallow …much much tougher…when income is considerably less than that, and non-retirement assets are nowhere near $1.9 million (not even close)…and you are still full pay. And…you are already living frugally. Two incomes. Small house, simple car, old furniture, shop the clearance racks, cut coupons, etc. Lots of families fall into this category.
Both have the same options to seek merit to a “lesser” school, or attend their instate school etc. There is one big difference…one may HAVE to consider merit or at least compare costs (full cost at Cornell or maybe a small FA “discount” of $5000 versus full cost at UVA OOS versus big merit and honors college with certain perks at a lower ranked school etc) while the other family likely doesn’t have to compare anything. They are free to choose the best school for them, without costs holding them back.
I think these twins may get merit at GT or the U of Washington (if it’s given), but they don’t have to accept it if they get into Penn or Hopkins. The money is there…lots of it. Yes those checks are tough, but they are still left with $1.3 million.
That’s a big deal.
That’s why cost of attendance at these colleges is so high, yes most people get aid and discounts but someone has to fund that and colleges just want to look good, they don’t want to pick up the tab, money must come from parents and alumni.
You are counting it as paying for twins but practically you are paying for quadruplets.
“is it comfortable to write a check for $37,000 every six months for a family who has been frugal for years and years?”
In my experience, people who have $1,000,000 or more in the bank or in easily accessed investments usually get it in one of two ways. One way is that they live very frugally for a very long time and NEVER spent money lavishly over several decades. There are a lot of millionaires driving old cars that were pretty modest six or eight years ago when they first bought them. The other way is that they work in high tech and got a lot of stock options, and worked very hard for a very long time, and out of the many companies that they have worked for most went belly up and the stock options were useless, but they got a one-time-only payoff of between $1,000,000 and $2,000,000 and after paying a lot in taxes $1,000,000 is what was left. In either case, the accumulation of this much money is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. It is hard to pay most of it to get bachelor’s degrees for two children. However, if you attend a big name school, they will expect you to pay a very large chunk of it over a total of eight years of education (four years per child). Of course, still more can be paid out for a master’s program or medical school or veterinary school. It is entirely possible if not likely that all of it could be gone for educating two children.
“This is where parents can be doing a much, much better job. A top school isn’t necessarily the one with a $75K/yr price tag. Cost does not necessarily equate to quality.”
I agree very strongly with this. The “big name” schools do not have a monopoly on anything that they are going to teach an undergrad student.
“IMO, these conversations need to start way sooner with our kids.”
Yup. Sending a kid off to university is not just about learning math or chemistry or biology. It is also a chance to learn about life. Part of life is to learn to live on your own and get yourself to class. Part of life is to allocate your resources efficiently. Part of this is to allocate your time and effort. Part of this is to allocate your financial resources.
OP has a choice. The easy but painful thing to do is to go for a big name university and pay the big bucks. It is more difficult to search carefully and find a great fit at a great school with great professors and great research opportunities that is also not horribly expensive. However, such schools are out there for at least most of our kids.
But with $150k+ in 529s for each of the twins, the check to be written for one twin every 6 mos is more like $22,000 every 6 mos. That’s certainly not chicken feed, but the $30K+/year coming from the 529 plan makes it easier for a family with these assets and income.
It all comes back to yes it’s unethical for colleges to offer similar product to different buyers with different price tags. Obviously, it’s not a problem for really wealthy but these colleges are literally showing predatory behavior when it comes to hard working upper middle class, pushing them back in middle middle class. That’s how status quo is maintained and numbers of middle class admits managed. They must sell a certain percentage of full pay seats, if you can’t pay, someone on waitlist would take that seat.
We can turn blue weighing value of these schools but there is no denying that there are personal and professional benefits of attending selective elite colleges. Now it depends upon if parent wants to make this sacrifice or not.
You should send them to Rutgers and spend the big money on grad school. Honestly the kids have great stats but nothing jumps out except the SAT scores. Kids going to some top schools have done amazing things. I think they’ll get into some of the schools with zero merit or $$$.
It does sting to pay full price. For us, educational spending is priority two, after a solid retirement and before leaving a big inheritance.
I agree^. These kids have great stats but nothing out of the ordinary jumps out besides the academics (congrats…they are great students!). It takes a lot more than that to qualify for merit at schools such as Duke etc.
I wonder what “amazing things” other kids did who got into top schools? I know quite a few of them and none did anything more “amazing” than my kids.
Kids from our HS with the same stats as twin 1…who also have some very impressive ECs…are often waitlisted to Duke (a neighboring state to the OP). Thats what happens at schools with single digit acceptance rates. That also helps put the idea of merit $ into perspective.
@Al73 my own kid had very high stats like your twin 1…and she raised over $30,000 for a community health care organization in our county…where she served as president. She was a two sport varsity athlete, was very involved in her HS (leadership etc) and won a tri-county award. She was waitlisted to some schools with single digit acceptance rates (accepted to others, no merit…no discounts).
I know a Robertson Scholar. She started a mental health club in her HS and took it to the national level…where it still runs.
A girl in our community got a full ride to Vandy. She volunteered with several organizations and ended up on morning talk shows. She turned down the full ride to attend a higher ranked school.
When my daughter interviewed for Jefferson Scholars, there was one boy who had his pilots license and flew all over the country bringing home cooked meals, etc to people in need.
Trust me…there are a lot of high stats kids out there doing amazing things.