I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved child.
@mom2collegekids , thank you.
@Al73 , the most selective schools in this country tend to be so because far more qualified applicants want to attend than there are seats. Many of them are private schools, and can command those high prices because so many people are willing to pay those prices, and more.
Your kids likely went to public school. You wouldn’t be so surprised at the cost of the private colleges if you had sent them to best private boarding high schools in the country. Check out the price tags of Exeter, Andover, Deerfield, Choste, etc. Check out the prices of any private boarding school for that matter, or the top independent schools in your area.
You didn’t pay for these private options; you chose to go to the public school in your area where all of your home owning neighbors helped pay for the cost of that education. Your kids could continue to go to college for very little, maybe even free, if they commute to a local public college, community college, state school.
Instead, you want to send your kids to private schools, or to other state schools, where they will living expenses, eat, need electric, heat, take up space, need amenities—who do you think should pay for those costs?
Agreed ^
There are also schools out there that would likely give significant merit to these students, but the OP wants them at top schools because they are top students. He wants a discount.
Who does he think should pay for this discount?
He expects full pay families at Duke or UNC…many who make a much lower salary and have nowhere near $1.9 million in non-retirement assets…to pay for his FA discount. I don’t expect either twin to receive the Robertson…the ECs aren’t there (unless I am missing something).
These students have two things in their favor, top stats and a college savings account.
They can get merit at many good schools, or they can go to an instate school with the college savings and a student loan.
If the parents want them to go to a selective OOS or private school, they will face the possible full cost of those schools.
Only they can decide if they are willing and able to pay that much.
I have no problem with anyone seeking any “discount” be it through financial aid, scholarship, or whatever legitimate means that can be found. As we all know these days, there have been issues of people paying surpluses, huge ones, to get their kids into these schools. Discounts are not what are in the pictures at a number of these schools unless you meet financial need criteria.
I wrote the above post because I have run into this unhappiness, even bitterness, about the cost of the top schools quite a bit. And I ran into it again with a new neighbor. I live in an area where housing is expensive, NYC bedroom community, and those areas with top school districts charge a high premium in their tax rates to live there. So, the public schools, starting from pre-K, at times, are well subsidized by the taxpayers. To live here, you pay a lot in school taxes. And you keep paying even after your kids leave the school system, even as others paid towards your kids’ education while they went to school.
The state schools are subsidized by taxes too, so college kids in state usually have affordable options. I’m a great advocate of free community college, and we are not too far away from that. Most US citizens can come up with costs to go to community college, and in my state, one tends to be in commuting distance where ever you might live
My state has a lot of options in terms of state school tuition. For low income students, on top of federal money, there is state aid, and the top 10% of the class have additional tuition free options. As ever, those kids with parents who make and have the money but refuse to part with it or cannot, for whatever reasons, are limited have the most challenged. Parental support is a huge advantage to students, the biggest outside factor.
But, in my area, as well as in most, there are also the private schools. They start at pre-pre- school levels often and some of them are very very expensive. Just as are the private colleges. And if you want to ship the kid out of the home , you have to pay for those living expenses.
As for what do some students have to boost admission chances over others, …well. …
US cillees and universities often are not academic centers but communities that touch in other things in life. Sports, politics, the arts, the good works. Also, tuition is only a small part of the income picture for these schools. So you have:
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Development Admits. Yes, if you spend millions supporting a school, are active on groups, committees supporting the visions, directions, finances, future of the school, your kid will be in a whole separate pool for admissions when he applied to a college where you have been instrumental in this area.
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Celebrity Admits. If you are well known, connected in certain areas, you bring a lot more to the school than just your tuition and donations. You can add a lot of luster to a school becoming part of its community. Not just parents who are celebrities too. Yo-yo Ma, Michelle Kwan, some names off the top of my head, brought a lot more than academic weight to their colleges.
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Athletes. The schools put a lot into the facilities and teams and hsve for md y years. Tradition. alumni, publicity, atmosphere . Like it or not, recruited athletes are important to many schools, including the most selective.
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Legacy . Again, schools like this. It brings in money, camaraderie, touches on tradition. Builds community. Some schools place more value in this than others.
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URM. Diversity is important to colleges. How to discuss the difference t issues that touch different ethnic groups, issues particular to some. A diverse community is what most universities seek.
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Expertise in a niche area: Maybe not a hook as strong as the s I’ve, but yeah, certain departments are having trouble getting top students interested and prepared in their offerings. Ancient Greek, Language studies, etc can use kids demonstrating special talents and work in these areas. Also very high accomplishments in things like Intel/Siemans competitions, math competitions, Research. There are some talented kids out there!
The fact of the matter is that there are more academically qualified kids applying to these top schools than there are seats, but these schools also have wish lists of things they want that are not as common as a high SAT score or 4.0. They’ll forgive points in those numbers to get something truly special
The acceptance rates of these top schools include those accepted through these special pools where usually as many as half those kids in these groups may be accepted. So unless you make it into one of these categories , chances of getting accepted to some of the most selective schools is far less than the accept stats show.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
The thread has devolved into anecdote sharing and the OP has not been back for some time. At this point, I’m closing the thread. The OP can PM me if they want to post an update.