<p>Sky: I’m that risk taker the nicksm refers to, and it has made all the difference. Has a lot of money passed through living risky, you bet it has. But I’m not looking for the safe life for my family. It may not end well but boy have we been living!</p>
<p>my d is an athlete but before that there was succssful art…she would have never entertained millions if I had played it safe. All of the incredible experiences my d achieved is because I didn’t treat life like an accounting spreedsheet. many of the people on this thread talk about money as if they will live forever, I believe I will die and therefore money is a tool for living.</p>
<p>^True, but if we could only have a crystal ball. It’s great that it all worked out for your family pacheight, but what if it didn’t work out? Is it more difficult to take risks that involve your family than to make that decision for yourself alone? </p>
<p>I guess some people live in the moment and are willing to risk the worst to take a chance on getting the best. Others are the methodical planners who are more comfortable following a relatively safe roadmap to success. Neither is right nor wrong. </p>
<p>it only works out occasionally for me or my kids. we have equal if not more failures than successes. Like Michael Jordan says, “I’ve been trusted with the game winning shot 280 times and failed, and that is why I succeed.”</p>
<p>the methodical, planning, safe people watch more of life than participate in it.</p>
<p>my goal in life is not to be comfortable and entertain myself. Unfortunately that is what most Americans spend their lives doing, trying to be comfortable. And hell bent on self entertainment from large screen tv’s to speed boats, etc…</p>
<p>I’m all for embracing life, meeting new people and trying new things. But I have a difficult time with financial risk. I have seen some family members and friends “go for it” and end up broke - seriously broke - like dependent on the kindness of others. I never want to put my kids or myself in that situation. Sometimes I wish I would take some big risks, but I can’t because I have no safety net and am afraid of the consequences. How did you and your family cope when you “failed”? Have you ever recovered from financial disaster on a large scale? (Not being critical, just curious!)</p>
<p>My son also didn’t feel like he fit in during K-12 - I think that’s pretty common among the smarter kids- that smarter kids often aren’t “cool” in HS - and it has been that way for a long time, it was like that in the 70’s when I was in school. But college is a different story - there’s a higher bar for admission so you are more likely to find a fit for your intellectual level. Also, colleges are bigger, so that you are more likely to find a group that matches your interests- but you have to make the effort to look for that group and try out different ones. My son found a fit in a couple of schools- luckily one of the ones that gave him a good scholarship. Even though it is a private school (American University), it costs us about the same as if it was a state university. He is in the Honors program, lives on the honors floor, hangs out with honors kids and is offered lots of opportunities for activities. If he keeps up his GPA and takes enough honors courses, he will graduate with Honors. He is very happy - but luckily, he was wise enough to realize he would have been happy in a number of different places.</p>
<p>725: all the time:) in recovery mode now. But always the same way, an ability to produce high value and therefore high income. An ability learned from working hard, risk or no risk, it’s more about working hard.</p>
<p>life is not a scary movie. and going through it should not be a fearful experience…think of it more as an adventure! And remember what the the Buddhist say, “life is suffering”. once you embrace that then failure is not so scary because we’re all suffering. we all get our turn suffering. it’s reality.</p>
<p>There’s a middle ground to the classic ant/grasshopper conflict. As I tell my kids, our family can afford anything. We just can’t afford everything. If D1 is admitted to a reach school with wonderful academic opportunities, she can attend, even as a full-pay. If she wants to spend her summers during college taking advantage of amazing travel opportunities, she can do that. If she wants to pursue a fascinating and low-paying internship after college while also taking full advantage of living in one of the world’s great cities, she can do that. But she can’t do ALL of these. </p>
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<p>In which case we are talking about a one-in-a-million individual, not only in terms of talent but also drive and focus. Let’s ratchet it down a level, to a kid who wants to act, is talented enough to be admitted to Tisch, but is going to need $80k in loans over the four years. This is a different situation than the OP’s, because it’s for a specific goal/dream/what have you. Some families would say yes, go for it. Some families simply couldn’t afford it. The reality is that very few Tisch grads are going to be entertaining millions.</p>
<p>^ We have two relatives that attended NYU in the hope of becoming actors. One is a glorified waiter while the other takes any job that he could get. They are both in their mid 30’s. What a waste of an expensive college degree. The parents of these two boys paid NYU for a total of 8 years and have never stopped helping these adult children. They curse the idea of NYU and “acting school”.</p>
You forgot luck in that list. For each person with talent/drive/focus that made millions there’s probably hundreds or thousands with the same qualities that are now still waiting tables to make a living. Chance plays a big role in life. I always find it interesting that people who do in fact make it big think they’re actually “special” and it was all there own personal drive & ambition which got them to the top. Check out the book “Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets” for more in-depth look at this.</p>
<p>i never thought of it as special or lucky, it was just something we did, like taking your kid to soccer practice. but instead of the station wagon it was a jet because we don’t live in LA. Now that we’re on acting, which is related to the op’s needs because she’s an aspiring artist, there are two things I learned:</p>
<p>1) Art is a trade and therefore you don’t need to learn it in college. not saying artists shouldn’t get a liberal arts education, just saying you don’t learn your craft in college. you learn a trade by doing it, doing it in a pro environment. like an apprentice carpenter learns from a journeyman.</p>
<p>2) lucks got nothing to do with it (successful actors work their butts off, and face months sometimes years of rejection). </p>
<p>is my d one in a million, yes she is. but i would hope every parent on here thinks of their kid as 1 in a million.</p>
<p>here’s my advice for actors: move to LA, go to any college down there for your college education, but take your acting lessons from private acting coaches…there are many very good ones in LA. And go to auditions, as many as you can, get work, start acting!</p>
<p>Agree with number one, but the idea that luck has nothing to do with success in acting is dead wrong. Any actor needs to put in the hard work, but that in and of itself isn’t enough to succeed. I am incredibly surprised to hear a parent who’s been on the audition circuit with a child/teen actor in Los Angeles think that luck plays no role. If that’s really what you think, then your child is even luckier than you know. </p>
<p>We’re drifting away from the topic, so to wrench it back on-topic: if I had a kid who was interested in pursuing acting or painting or dance, AND if the kid was talented and hard working, AND if we saw some evidence that the kid might have a chance (successful auditions, invites to take part in juried shows, etc), then I’d strongly consider taking on debt to support that dream. If I had a great kid–bright, talented, hardworking, charming-- who wasn’t quite sure what he/she wanted to do, and wanted to go to one specific college because they’d loved the feel when they visited, I might not think it was worth taking on big debt for that more nebulous dream.</p>
<p>if you mean by luck that she can memorize sides in the cab on the way to the studio, or understand exactly what casting was looking for when she was 8, then OK that’s dna advantage…because she can just do those things, they don’t require “work”. but it’s really only an advantage.</p>
<p>But I disagree that it takes luck to be a working actor. The entertainment industry is huge, there are work opportunities everywhere in LA and NYC TV/film. throw in Chicago theater and other regional union theaters and there is opportunity everywhere. But you have to work hard at it, it’s a craft, a trade, you can learn it, you don’t have to be born with “talent”.</p>
<p>You may not be the person who has the attributes to be in the lead role, but that’s no different than not being the principal attorney in the firm, or the not being hot shot heart surgeon, not everyone is going to be famous in the profession they choose. Would you tell your kid not go into medicine or law because we don’t think you have the “talent” to be a star?</p>
<p>Acting is a great profession and anyone can do it, for parents on the outside looking in, don’t expect your child to be outgoing and funny as a prerequisite for success in Hollywood.</p>
<p>It takes hard work and you learn your acting skills, they are not birth rights. It takes no more “luck” than any other profession, including carpentry.</p>
<p>sky: the last several posts are very informative, it’s how most people approach life, with caution.</p>
<p>comments like “one in a million” is essentially saying other people get to do those amazing things, but I need to be realistic. that type of thinking puts you in a box.</p>
<p>you’ll never know if you can make it as an artist, if you don’t try. And now to bring it all the way back to W&M, I don’t believe our universities and lac’s do a very good job training artists. like I said in a post above, apprentice with an artist, that’s they way to be trained. Painting, photography, acting, get in the studio of someone you admire and start learning the craft. </p>
<p>And get your college degree so you’re an educated person!</p>
<p>I know tons of kids (and older age, too, once you find out their backstory) who majored in theater and are bright, talented, hard-working…and can’t make a living at acting. They invariably get the lead in community theater productions, but those don’t pay. </p>
<p>There are just too many talented people and not enough paying positions. I believe the MOST talented, beautiful, and/or lucky will eventually rise to the top, but the rest…</p>
<p>And not being able to predict the future is why you shouldn’t go into debt for a MT degree. Take any sort of risk you want, live the vagabond, artistic, hand-to-mouth existence, if that is your preference, but don’t bet tens of thousands of $$ on your future earnings. My 2 cents.</p>
<p>agree with Mommusic. you don’t need to go to USC, Yale, or NYU to learn to act. Although those three actually do, do a good job at acting training.</p>
<p>however, i disagree with the “tons of kids”. I know those kids as well, and very few of them move to LA or NYC and go out every day to an audition or take a workshop to improve their skills. the tons of kids i know move back to their towns in oregon or Indiana or suburbs, after college having never really tried. you can not be a pro actor living in Oregon.</p>
<p>Going to few a showcase or living in the city the summer after college is not trying. It’s because they never started acting to begin with. Most MT programs are jokes and very insular and clicky, they have nothing to do with the real profession of acting.</p>
<p>Haha I’m actually a visual artist…I’m not sure where this acting thing came from, but I can’t act to save my life! But much of the advice is applicable to both fields.Becoming a sucessful artist and making a living through art are very difficult- so most likely, I will only minor (or possibly double major) in the arts.</p>
<p>A college degree is not a guarantee of a job or a guarantee of the ability to pay off your college loans. Many kids do not go to their top choice because of the massive debt! If you don’t go to your top choice you will, more than likely, have the experience of a lifetime and get a great education. You won’t, however, graduate with a mountain of debt in an economy where jobs tough to get & grad school is still a possibility.</p>
If D1 is admitted to a reach school with wonderful academic opportunities, she can attend, even as a full-pay. If she wants to spend her summers during college taking advantage of amazing travel opportunities, she can do that. If she wants to pursue a fascinating and low-paying internship after college while also taking full advantage of living in one of the world’s great cities, she can do that. But she can’t do ALL of these. </p>