Is it bad to ask my wealthy 90 yr old grandpa to help me pay for college?

Paying for College
21

It is really offensive that you think you should be spending someone else’s money. If someone came to me and decided that I didn’t need my money because I was old and they decided to analyze how much I could/should be spending on a mortgage or not when I could spend it on them, I’d be tempted to give them a kick in the seat. And don’t you think his heirs might object to you spending his money before they get any?

It sounds like you need a lot of money. Is he up to date on what college costs? If you have been discussing your plans and costs and he hasn’t offered yet, the outlook doesn’t look good to me.

22

If you are looking at an EFC that you know your family can’t afford, then the answer is to find a school that you can afford.

23

@suzy100 I’m trying to make my schools more affordable. I’d be fine attending a safety, but again, I’m trying to think of ways to make the schools I actually want to go to, affordable. I don’t think there is anything wrong with exhausting all options.

24

It’s his money. He knows you are going to college. If he wants to contribute, that is up to him. I don’t think you should be asking.

And your comment about your cousins isn’t very nice. Just because YOU think you are the cream if the crop, doesn’t mean everyone else does, or should. And it also doesn’t entitle you to a penny more of grandpa’s money.

25

@thumper1 There is one other cousin, he is 25, never graduated and dropped out. There is my sibling, parents can afford to pay. Then there are my older cousins who he never sees and are adults and are past college age. It may sound arrogant, but I am the cream of the crop when it comes to his grand children.

26

My opinion stands. I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask for your grandfather’s money.

27

Even if he says yes, what if he doesn’t keep up the commitment over all 4 years? Say his health takes a turn for the worse, and he can’t make his own financial decisions any more? His wife will likely control the money while he is alive, and she may not think it is such a great idea. And something else rubs me the wrong way-- they are not “your” schools… If you and your parents can’t afford them, and he had not offered on his own to pay, pick different schools.

28

I think you can ask, but not expect.

I’d advise you to do your applications as if you would not get this money and when you have all your choices, figure out the money needed. If there is one school you would choose if you only had $10k extra, and you could do it if you took out a loan, then ask your grandfather. If he says no, take the loan. If he says yes, lucky you.

29

I think the parents should ask, not the child. The parent is in a better situation to discuss with the grandparent (his/her parent) the entire financial situation.

My cousin has a very high EFC, but couldn’t afford a pricey private that her son wanted to attend. Cousin’s H asked his mom if she would help pay. He could discuss with his mom how much he could contribute and how much more would be needed. She happily agreed to pay that difference.

30

It’s ok to ask, but just make sure to let him know whats in it for him? I am a high school sophomore, but doesnt FAFSA help with this?

31

Sounds like a good use of an old man’s “surplus” money. Does he have better options?

32

This student will have a FAFSA EFC of $70,000 once her sister is done with college. That exceeds the cost of attendance at every school I can think of.

The only thing,this student will get by completing the FAFSA at that point in time is a $7500 Direct Loan.

Aquamarine. The FAFSA is a financial aid application form. The information on it is used primarily to determine eligibility for federally funded need based aid. With a FAFSA efc of $70,000, the student won’t be eligible for need based aid. The FAFSA doest GIVE aid. It is a financial aid application form.

Calicash…help me remember. Did your parents agree to cosign $35,000 a year (for your last two years) of college loans? Because you can’t get that amount in your name without a cosigner.

33

Nobody said you had to take out $75k in loans. YOU can’t, as far as I know. I don’t think any family should take out $75k worth of loans for one student, especially so that s/he can be a writer. That being said, sometimes parents will “borrow” money from their parents knowing that their share of their parents’ estate will be reduced by that amount. Your mom/dad (whichever is Grandpa’s child) will likely have an idea what his plans are and if that idea might work. However, your getting a $35k+ gift from Grandpa could create a problem with your aunt(s) and/or uncle(s), your cousins, and even your sister unless Grandpa has enough to give a similar gift to everyone else. Your opinion that you’re the “cream of the crop” and thus deserving of it is not likely an opinion carried by the rest of the family.

If I were you, I’d look for a school my family could afford on the income you have.

34

@aquamarine3016‌


[QUOTE=""]
It's ok to ask, but just make sure to let him know whats in it for him? I am a high school sophomore, but doesnt FAFSA help with this?

[/QUOTE]

No, FAFSA would not help with this.

35

A few things about this situation:

1.) You being the shining star grandchild should mean that of anyone, you should be able to earn the most merit money across various schools and would likely be able to afford a pretty nice school (but not tippy top) with a hefty scholarship. Doesn’t mean you should pay the most for your education (you CAN, but it’s not a given).

2.) I really believe that if your grandfather wanted to contribute to his grandkids’ college education, he would’ve volunteered. I also agree that if you do ask and he does contribute, it would cause a lot of strife in the family for playing favorites or others being jealous.

3.) If you really, really believe that you MUST ask him then I would have your parents ask. It would be much easier to turn down the offer if he didn’t feel comfortable to his child than his youngest grandchild, and it’s not fair at all to guilt someone into contributing thousands of dollars. You mention that your parents encourage you to ask, but won’t say what his reaction will be. That leads me to believe that they don’t think he’ll agree to contribute if they ask, so they’re encouraging you to ask as a way to play the cute innocent granddaughter card (which I think is wrong).

4.) You mention that you have a financial safety, you’re just trying to exhaust all your options before settling. Yay for having a financial safety, and yay for exploring payment options!- except I don’t think asking for donations from rich relatives qualifies as an option to exhaust. Typically those options people refer to are options of personal burden- working a part-time job at college, taking out private loans, etc… If you are at a point where you need big donations of $8000-10000, it’s time to go to the financial safety. Especially if you need that much per year- imagine you ask for $8k for freshman year and he says yes, but the next year you need it again and he says no sorry! What will you do?

I think this really isn’t the best idea, but if you do go for it, please have your parents ask instead of trying to guilt the man into it. Like I mentioned, if you have Northwestern grades then you could easily get huge merit scholarships at multiple schools nationwide- consider that option first.

36

<<<
You being the shining star grandchild should mean that of anyone, you should be able to earn the most merit money across various schools and would likely be able to afford a pretty nice school (but not tippy top) with a hefty scholarship.
<<<

@novafan1225‌
she may mean “shining star” grade-wise. Her test scores aren’t high enough to garner much merit at “pretty nice schools”. That has been the issue. She is able to get accepted into good schools, but she’s not been awarded much merit.

This is not a student with Northwestern stats.

37

If I were the loaded grandpa and my rich son or daughter came to me asking for $10k per year for 4 years toward college for my grandaughter, I would be quite annoyed.

I would have a different attitude toward the request if my son or daughter is lower middle class, drives a 15 year old rusty car with 200k miles, grandchild maybe qualifies for Pell and goes to an instate school and has a 30+ACT and is top 10% of her class. Then I’d likely be willing to help out with a $10k gift.

38

I read through some of your previous posts, and you mention that in 2017 you WILL be getting some money “from an elder”.

So why do you need the money now? Take out loans and pay them off when you get your money. You will be in college end of 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018, graduating in 2019. Your sibling is in college but it is a CC so the EFC will not be adjusted too much.

But, if you insist you must have the money now, that is, to pay the fall tuition:

Meet your grandfather, heck, take him out for lunch and congratulate him on his engagement and wish him luck on his upcoming marriage. Talk to him. Talk to him about what is happening in your life. Talk to him about his life, when he went to college (or if he had to decide not to go to college). Talk to him about where you want to go to school and why you don’t want to go to cheaper schools.

My brother befriended an elderly friend of a friend. Helped him out with various things, like getting work done on a summer house and so on. The guy left him a shore house, which isn’t worth much but the land is worth a million plus. All because my brother put himself out and helped out a guy who wasn’t even a relative.

Make it grandpa’s idea to help you out.

And don’t be upset if he doesn’t offer.

Asking ANYONE for money is a bad idea unless you are asking a bank for a loan.

Being afraid of 75K of loans when you indicate your parents are making 240K per year and your grandfather is “rich” is odd. But on the other hand, knowing that you want to be a writer which is a destitute or millionaire proposition, maybe you should pick schools that are within your understanding of your ability to pay.

My advice is to not worry until you get your acceptances and FA packages. Relax, yeah maybe still have lunch with grandpa because you’ll be going off to school in September, but otherwise, DON’T ask for anything other than a hug and good wishes.

Remember also, if he wants to help you, the best way is to pay some of your tuition directly, that way he knows his money is used for college and you aren’t tempted to do something else with it.

39

@mom2collegekids I’m not sure why you need to mention the she doesn’t have “northwestern stats”. That was an unnecessary dig at me. That poster had already said that I could get merit from pretty good, but not tippy top schools. Northwestern would be considered a tippy top school so obviously s/he wasn’t referring to a school of that caliber or a school that would demand stats of that caliber.

EDIT: idk, maybe I took your comment the wrong way. Didn’t mean to seem catty

40

@rhandco That relative would be my grandfather lol. I should’ve made that more clear. Unfortunately however, my grandfather lives in a different state and I am not able to spend time with him during the school year. $75,000 in loans would be a combination of the loans I can take out and loans my parents would help me take out that I would be paying back. $240,000 is a deceptive number.