My grandfather is a very old man with a lot of money. We have an okay relationship. I spend every summer with him. Those of you who have seen my threads know that in two years, my EFC will be $70,000, so that’s obviously not affordable for a middle class family like mine. Would it be wrong to ask my grandpa for money seeing that he is getting to that age? And how would I go about having that discussion. He doesn’t have a mortgage to pay and he is getting married in a few months lol, but she is signing a prenup, so nada for her.
Now would seem a great time to give gramps a big hug on a regular basis and to volunteer for to go on runs to the drug store for geritol and Metamucil when he asks, IMHO. 
@Nerdyparent Haha! I would do that, but he lives on the other side of the country.
What are your parents saying? The parent who is this grandpa’s child probably knows how grandpa would react to such a request. Your parent may know that grandpa will be happy to contribute a few bucks…or not.
How much will your parents pay? If I remember, there will be two in college next year, so your EFC for YOU will be about $35k…and your parents aren’t paying a lot for your sibling.
??? Your 90 year old grandpa is getting married soon? ha ha, good for him!
@mom2collegekids My parents have given consent. In fact, they welcome the idea. I haven’t spoken to them about what they think his actual reaction would be though… My parents won’t give me a solid number. They just keep saying, “you have to believe you will get a scholarship!”— crazy, I know.
Will this grandfather’s child (your parent) be willing to ask gramps to pay $10k per year? If I remember correctly, your parents will pay enough that you really only need about $10k from gramps. Is that right?
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My parents won’t give me a solid number. They just keep saying, “you have to believe you will get a scholarship!”— crazy, I know.
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Your parents don’t seem to know what scholarships are based on.
@mom2collegekids I haven’t asked my parents to ask. I figured I would do that myself. Is that unethical? I was just thinking about asking for maybe $8000- $10000 per year. And of course, I would walk my grandpa through the documents and explain all the costs if my parents can’t. And yes, my parents are somewhat delusional lol. Especially with northwestern. Id rather get rejected than get in and not be able to pay.
Does your grandfather have other grand children ? If yes, did he pay for their college? That should gauge how you should proceed. I agree the request should come from your grandfather’so child; your mom or dad
@sybbie719 No, I’m the youngest and the oldest are out of college with the exception of my sibling who goes to an affordable local 4 year college. Not to brag, but the rest of his grand children haven’t been nearly as successful as me, so as far as I know, he hasn’t done it for any of them. Many of them didn’t even go to college or went maybe 15 years ago.
It could get sticky, with other grandkids also wanting some help.
I recall a quote from some movie where a girl tells a boy
G: “just ask your grandpa for it,”
B: “He won’t give me any money, he’s very frugal,”
G: “I thought he was very wealthy,”
B: “That’s why he’s wealthy: he is very frugal.”
It can be a very sticky wicket. I would view him as a potential benevolent source of a loan (and HOPE he would forgive it if you made him proud with the proceeds). Market rates (student loan market rates), properly documented, and no expectation that the loan will be forgiven.
Any initial financial transaction will be heavily scrutinized by his spouse and kids. A loan will be much more palatable than a gift. A later forgiveness of the loan can be easily rationalized and it is more likely everyone will be on board with it. Plus, if you are responsible with this investment (sending him regular updates and showing him how his investment is making something very valuable possible and enhancing his legacy/family honor), you may have a financial investment partner for future dealings after you graduate.
Be sure to look at what’s in it for him, and where he could be subject to criticism. Make it as easy for him as possible, and be sure to include good faith and accountability on your part into the equation. 
The worst that can happen is he’ll say NO.
Well I’ll go against the grain here, but I think it would be extremely gauche. You would be putting him in a terrible position IMO. Surely he knows you are going to college. If he wanted to help pay, he would have offered. At most I would ask for a loan as described by ItsJustSchool.
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@GMTplus7, seriously? It can get a LOT worse that that!
@ItsJustSchool Saving money is very important, but he’s 90… I don’t need to state the obvious.
PS- Don’t think im selfish. I love my grandpa very much.
@CaliCash, no one thinks they are an old man, and no one likes to be seen as something to be harvested. Why is he getting married if he is not looking to the future? He could live to be 110, or older. Plus, his kids may have opinions on how he should spend his money. You may not be the only one in his lineage who thinks he is ripe for harvesting and is already lining up to spend his money. This could cause problems between your parent and his/her siblings.
You really need to be respectful. At that age, fear of mortality is very real. To have someone come up with the attitude of, “Hey, pops! OBVIOUSLY you are going to die soon. I could really use a jolt of cash. Any problem forking over some? I can’t see as you’d even miss it. And besides, did I mention already, you ARE about to croak!” is very distasteful.
Obviously, he is looking to a future. He is engaged to be married and looking forward to a wonderful life ahead. Who are you to decide how he should spend his money, or that he won’t live another 20+ years?
I think if you handle it right, either he or his estate will forgive a loan. If you handle it wrong, your aunts and uncles will forever remember it (as that $200,000 gift he gave you, even if it was REALLY $5,000).
Do what you want. You did ask for advice!
Why wd he offer to pay if he is not aware u have need? It’s his money; he can do ANYTHING he wants w it, including not paying for other grandkids’ tuition.
Provided your parents are OK w you asking, then ask him.
@ItsJustSchool You are 100% right, which is why I want to know how to handle it the right way. Should I suck up lol?
@suzy100 My EFC in 2 years will be $70,000. My parents will likely only to be able to pay 1/2 of that. So loans are already factored into my plan. However, I am really not looking forward to taking out $75,000 in loans, especially as someone who wants to become a writer.
I would not suck up. I would be mindful of all the players and would propose something that he will not be (even privately) criticized about. A gift is a cliff that will be distorted. You certainly can ask. A loan can be later forgiven; or not, and continues a relationship and requires continued trust. There is more risk on your part, but it can also deepen the relationship. Everyone can see that, so that is why relatives would be less likely to complain if your grandfather (or his estate) eventually forgives the loan. Even if the estate does not forgive the loan, it would come out of your parent’s share, and they could then deal with it how they see fit.
A loan from a relative is an opportunity to deepen the relationship with that relative. You can use it to give periodic updates (you could do that anyways, but you are more likely to do it each semester when the bill is due if there is a loan involved). It could be a very good thing for all involved.
A gift has potential to go sideways and out of your control. At least if a loan starts to go sideways, you have some control over getting it back on the rails.