<p>What’s strange to one is commonplace to the other.</p>
<p>Rellielou - Alfie Kohn bookshelf?</p>
<p>WMD- </p>
<p>Alfie K is a wonderful author who writes on parenting topics. Here’s a link to his homepage. [Alfie</a> Kohn Homepage](<a href=“http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.php]Alfie”>http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.php)</p>
<p>enjoy!</p>
<p>Periwinkle et al.: I agree that it’s a good idea to write about the other schools. We looked at less well known schools ourselves, and I’ve praised Holderness, for example, often on this board. I’m all about different schools for different kids.</p>
<p>It’s when I start getting a whiff of “and isn’t it better that my kid isn’t so competitive and grade grubbing” that I start to protest. </p>
<p>Again, for some kids, those grades and SSAT scores and superlative EC’s are a gateway to ANY school, not an Alfie Kohnesque, soul-destroying choice. And, as others have pointed out on this thread, some kids compete and excel because that’s how they’re made. Others don’t because that’s how they’re made. Unfortunately, without significant financial resources of their own, that second group won’t have access to any boarding school–because they won’t get FA.</p>
<p>And, again, that’s fine–really–it’s great that people who have more money than me want to spend it to educate their kiddos in the best way possible, and y’all should have a good talk about what’s good about those schools. </p>
<p>Still… .(wishing I knew how to access Winterset’s color palette here, as I’d color this one a nice bright red)… it’d be great if the praise of one kind of kid and school could be done without dissing the other. </p>
<p>Nuff said. And if someone can prove me wrong, and tell me about their good-hearted A/B student with average SSAT scores and decent athletics who got into one of these great non PEA/PA schools, you’d make me a really happy Mama. :)</p>
<p>Alfie Kohn…one of the main influences on me to homeschool. As my boys have grown older though, my thinking has shifted some. It’s useful to read Leonard Sax and Alfie Kohn side-by-side. Check link below.</p>
<p>[Boys</a> Adrift](<a href=“http://www.boysadrift.com/]Boys”>http://www.boysadrift.com/)</p>
<p>@classicalmama </p>
<p>You say:</p>
<p>It’s when I start getting a whiff of “and isn’t it better that my kid isn’t so competitive and grade grubbing” that I start to protest. </p>
<p>I don’t like grade grubbing and “screw the other guy” competitiveness. It’s real though. I saw it every day at Penn, as did my daughter and wife. In my opinion, the top NE boarding schools and the Ivies have a much higher concentration of kids/adults with these characteristics than the LACs and Western schools. I don’t think that should surprise anyone particularly. Anyway, one person’s idea of “grade grubbing” may just as easily described by another person as “focused, motivated and high achieving.”</p>
<p>All of this is why my son simply tells people that he goes to “boarding school.” If they press him, he’ll say, “in New Hampshire.” It’s not that he’s ashamed of his school or anything, he just says that all these people who have heard about Exeter seem to think they know everything about it and what it’s like and they really have no idea.</p>
<p>Again – the point of the thread is that it seems like the discussion board is dominated by the top echelon schools when the vast majority of BS students don’t attend these schools. There is no implied value judgment just a recognition of the disproportionate volume of entries. I wonder if all the GLADCHEMMS threads have a bit of a damping effect on people who might otherwise start a thread about any number of the other fine boarding schools? I wish the information flow about the other schools was as robust so we could all learn a thing or two…</p>
<p>There are other school threads. If you want to start one, I don’t think any one will object.</p>
<p>It’s true that this board is dominated by the most selective schools but if you think about it, it kind of makes sense. These are the schools that have the most applicants, thus the low admissions rate. Sometimes admission to these schools just seems random and that’s why there are so many threads about them. </p>
<p>Which other schools get the most CC press are the ones that have the biggest cheerleaders posting - and I think that’s fantastic. Sometimes a student will start a thread making themselves available to answer questions. Sometimes it’s a parent or group of parents who will talk up a school. A few years ago, there was a group of NMH parents whom I thank for turning my family on to that school with their own enthusiasm.</p>
<p>Again, there is tons of info on other schools, but it just may not be on the first page. Andover and Exeter tend to be the brass ring that so many reach for. Why? They are fantastic schools. There also seems to be a stigma attached to these two schools in particular which is not always warranted. The top 20 or 30 schools have far more commonalities than differences. </p>
<p>It’s not as if when someone starts a thread about a lesser known school, others put it down. All one has to do is ask and people come crawling out of the digital woodwork to rah rah about their school. It’s what I like about CC. So maybe people shouldn’t be so shy. I wish the information flow was as robust as well. Maybe I should start bumping up every thread that I find through a search that isn’t about the top five schools or publicly posting questions that I already know the answer to just to get the info out there? </p>
<p>If no one asks about Mercersburg, Blair, and Kent, I’m not going to volunteer what I know about them. But if someone were to ask, I’d be happy to share what we learned and loved about those schools last year. But until someone asks…</p>
<p>Ok, Neato. PLEASE…tell us what you know about Mercersburg!!! Blair!!! Kent!!! I for one would REALLY love to hear. Please! And for those of you with other fine schools out of the glare of all the attention on these boards, please, tell us! I, for one, don’t care about tiers…we want to know about those great schools out there that don’t get the attention they deserve. PM me, email me, post here - whatever… get that word out on your thoughts.</p>
<p>classicalmama - you have made some very excellent points and I wish I had the answers. </p>
<p>There are so many other schools than are discussed on this site that DO INDEED offer financial aid. The question still remains as to how the FA at those schools is allocated and does the ‘average’ kid have a shot? I’m not sure there are many here who have walked in those shoes and can tell it firsthand… but it would be nice to know.</p>
<p>2kids- I loved Miss Porters. My d who didnt want to apply to an all girls school, stepped on campus for her tour-----LOVED IT. She had taken the interview in our city due to the difficulty on getting an interview the day we needed to travel. It was great to have the “home court advantage” for the interview.</p>
<p>She was taken away by our tour guides ‘relaxness’, happiness and pride in her school. She spoke lovingly and sincerely. As a graduate of a catholic all-girls school I was happy that she embraced the school.</p>
<p>When it came down to it, she was accepted but it was not her first choice and the FA package wasnt as much as her first choice. More so, my d felt she needed a more challenging program.</p>
<p>I would recommend that parents of girls, look into at least one all-girl’s school.</p>
<p>Because of this change of heart, she is seriously considering a few all-women’s colleges…go figure.</p>
<p>My oldest is in his senior yr of boarding, full FA, if someone has specific questions feel free to ask. When we were looking for him, we did look at some of the top twenty, (though not any of the HADES), along with several others. DS2 will be looking/applying next year, and for him we’ll have a slightly different focus, because he’s a different person, different strengths, etc. </p>
<p>I can say without hesitation there are quite a few respected, wonderful boarding schools outside of the HADES that will offer needed FA for great kids that aren’t perfectgradesperfectscoresperfectserviceperfectperfectperfect. 
That said, I don’t know any “slouches” who were offered large FA pkgs.</p>
<p>@2kids: Our family has looked quite broadly at the east coast schools. Last year I would have told you that St. Andrew’s school was a bit of a hidden gem, although I’d say it’s no longer as hidden. It has a feel that is somewhere between Groton and Middlesex in my opinion. For those willing to look further south, Asheville School is also a hidden gem and located in beautiful Asheville, NC. It’s similarly sized to St. Andrew’s School and has the same feel, ie rigorous and traditional and filled with really pleasant people.</p>
<p>I was really impressed with St. Mark’s, Brooks, Berkshire, and Taft after my tours this year. I will consider choosing one of these schools over a HADES in March. They are definitely worth checking out.</p>
<p>2010 hopeful – yes there are plenty of good schools to consider. New England is chock full as well as other parts of the country. I don’t see a lot of threads for schools like Tabor, Pomfret, Suffield, Kent, etc. but they are all well worth checking out. Let’s hear from some current students and parents of those schools. What makes them distinct? Why were they chosen among the choices you had? What should we be looking for when we do re-visits?</p>
<p>Our son applied to 5 schools last year. He was actually turned down by Choate because they told us they couldn’t afford him as stated in their decision letter. We felt like financial aid played a role in his waitlist at two other schools as well. He ended up attending Exeter. His SSAt, EC’s interviews etc. were stellar. When our daughter applied this year, we only applied to the schools who truly could afford to help us with the significant financial aid we need for her to attend. It was dissapointing to rule out so many wonderful schools- but we spent alot of time applying to schools last year that could not afford us.</p>
<p>The way FA works, I figure, is this - in non need-blind schools at least, assuming the same percentage of student body need FA - let’s make it easy say 100% - if school A offers 45% of its student body FA and school B 35%. Then In theory, one needs to be in the top 45% of school A’s admitted pool and 35% in the school B’s (talking about overall “attractiveness” of one’s profile not academic qualifications only). When it comes to the amount of aid, schools with larger endowment tend to be more generous. In smaller/“poorer” schools, to receive full or substantial amount of aid, you should either have one or two bigger “hooks”, e.g. athlete + URM, a big academic prize winner, etc. or you are among the top few students the school wants to have.</p>
<p>You can decide which way is easier, but IMO, neither is. Generally, if you need significant FA, you should apply to both the “big” and the “small”, and see which door opens for you on March 10. Often times, if one door opens the other may open too if you have a strong student. But it doesn’t always work that way. In vegas’ case, Exeter took his son but Choate didn’t (by the way, they could afford - they just chose to not) not because he was not a strong candidate for either school but because Choate might’ve had a different need for their community that year. It worked out as vegas and son didn’t preset the “not applying to PA or PEA” rule for themselves. </p>
<p>That’s why my answer to OP’s question is that it is ok but not a great idea, imho.</p>
<p>@Vegas,</p>
<p>The clock resets every year. So the decision made in your son’s case is not necessarily the decision that would be made in your daughter’s. A number of schools give out a range of aid from a few hundred, to full scholarship and transportation. It’s a matter of who is in the individual pool that year.</p>
<p>@DAndrew
</p>
<p>Every time I see that tired phrase I want to “effin” scream. If that were true I’d have the cash to replace my 13-year old car. You would be surprised how many "URM"s are full pays. And perpetuating that constant mantra just fuels rants like the ones we get from parents like WBJ.</p>
<p>Why not just say * if you have something the school desires to round out it’s class sizes.* without defining a specific race. Because, frankly, a bigger “hook” at most NE BS is rural and midwestern (regardless of race). I was just told by two Adcoms at different schools to get out my “crowbar” and find some that could apply.</p>
<p>so please, really, let’s stop throwing that URM term out like it’s the only thing that counts. Or the “primary” thing that counts. It just feeds a stereotype that really hurt kids like my daughter when they arrive on campus. Then fueled resentment from the kids who did get FA (including a number of non-AA kids) when they found out she wasn’t on full scholarship (because, after all, she’s an AA URM so it must be true, right?)</p>
<p>Exie, a whole lot of excellent points. I think we overlook the difficult aspect of the Admissions Office’s job being to create a diverse <em>class</em>. FA needs & candidates are a significant factor in how that class gets put together, but there are WAY too many factors that they consider in assembling a class to jump to any reductionistic formula.</p>