Is it okay to talk about failure/how can I spin this positively?

Here’s some context:

I have failed in almost everything leadershipwise I applied for/tried to do so far in high school. I’m not saying this in a depressed way, but just as a fact. I applied to student government, ran for class positions multiple times, and ran for various club positions multiple times. I was not once successful. This includes elections, appointed positions, interview and application, etc. I even attempted to start my own club, but was turned down by the administration(I can give more details if needed).

My grades and test scores are pretty good, otherwise.

I’m going to be a senior next year, and I’m incredibly worried because I have virtually no leadership aspects to talk about. It’s not that I don’t have extracurriculars, per se; I do sports, and I can still talk about club involvement even without having a leadership position. However, having leadership is so, so important to an application, and it also gives me limited options for essays, personal statements and the like.

I’m pretty sure it’s not that I’m not cut out for these positions, it’s just a matter of not being popular enough(my fault), not making friends with the right people/teachers(my fault), and pissing off the wrong people(also my fault).

As a senior now, there is basically no time left to do anything meaningful within the next 6 months. So my question is, is it okay to talk about these failures? I really tried many, many times, but nothing worked out. Are there any suggestions for a positive spin on this?

First of all, I think that the “prestigious” universities care too much about “leadership”. As a high school kid you should be (i) getting good grades; (ii) having some fun; and (iii) getting along with people. “Having some fun” means participating in activities that you like to do, it doesn’t have to mean being the president or founder of a club.

If your grades are good and your “leadership” is lacking, this might reduce your already bleak chances of getting into Harvard or Stanford. Okay, that still leaves well over 3,000 other universities and colleges to apply to, and that is just in this country (there are more in other countries, many of which don’t care about ECs at all).

My personal advice: Don’t worry about “leadership aspects to talk about”. In essays, I wouldn’t talk about your failures in leadership, how many leaders does this country need anyway? In your essays, talk about what matters to you and what you want to do. In considering universities, think about what you want in a school and also compare your GPA and SAT scores with what is typical of students that go there. If your GPA and SAT/ACT scores are good, then you should be able to get into multiple very good schools.

Also, try not to piss off people. Regardless of how much they deserve it (and many people do – at some level the country as a whole seems to deserve to be pissed off), but it never does any good.

Why not write about how trying to get those positions helped you understand who you really are? Maybe you contribute by doing but not directing things? Maybe you didn’t really want the positions but tried because you thought others wanted you to have them. What did you learn?

Not everyone can or should be a chief; there’s a huge need for Indians too.

I wouldn’t talk about failure to lead-- talking about failure doesn’t convince them that you’re a better choice than someone else.

I would choose an essay that paints me in a positive light.

I would suggest you find a different topic. Sure, you can go the Edison quote route (“I have not failed 1,000 times. I successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb”), but its been done many times before and it won’t make you stand out.

Elite colleges want people who will become successful alums. You can be successful without necessarily being a leader. Perhaps you are so unique that others haven’t yet recognized your genius. Your essay topic(s) should focus on YOU, not what you think others want to hear. Follow the road less traveled – it can make all the difference.

In another recent thread, the idea of what role you can fill at a particular college was mentioned. Figuring out who you are, what your goals are, and what value you can offer to a school is a great place to start.

That could be the basis of your essay. Paint a word picture of yourself, one that makes you more appealing to a school.

Once you have an essay that defines you well, look for colleges that need you and your talents and strengths.

No, you won’t be going to Harvard, but neither will 95 percent of their highly qualified applicants. But you can take time now to regroup, do some soul searching, and write down attributes of a dream college for you. Large or small student body, how close or far away from home, LAC or big research school, rural or urban, those kinds of things.

There are many schools that will want you, just as you are. No need to bring up lack of leadership. Instead, use your energy to describe who you are and your positive qualities.

What will be the takeaway from your essay?

Talking about failure to land a leadership position in band and how she spun it to a positive seems to have worked for well for my DD’16. She was accepted at every school (somewhere in the 12 ballpark) she applied . She also wrote an essay on how her failure to properly prepare her oboe before a concert made her look foolish and what she learned about taking her time and not rushing things. It all depends on how you spin the failure.