Hey,
I am an Indian-American junior who’s planning on majoring in computer science in college; I need a little help refining the topic of my essay.
I am planning on writing writing my essay about how my parents pressure me to be a doctor when I grow up, but I instead want to go into computer science, which is a greater passion for me. I think this topic might be a little cliche because I know that a lot of Pakistani/Indian parents want their children to be doctors even though they don’t want to be.
Do I need to find a new essay topic, or should my current one be fine if I’m able to write it well?
A good hs essay can present a challenge you faced and your response. Hs teachers can like to see how your personal insight is developing.
In contrast, a good college app essay shows off some of the qualities those adcoms look for. My concern is this topic doesn’t dig deep enough, seems to be more about the conflict than your assets. It needs to use some “show, not just tell.”
Add to that, with Stanford and USC on your list, you seem not to have math-sci ECs. Hospital, but the others are not collaborative or stretch-y stem. So I suspect you need a break to dig into the sorts of things your targets do look for, in the activities and in the main essay.
I do feel like it is a little cliche, but I feel like if you write it you should focus on your passions rather than your parents desires. The essay should really focus on you and what makes you a good addition to campus. Think of the qualities and characteristics of yourself that you are most proud of, and write an essay that is able to demonstrate those qualities.
This is your chance to make sure you can stand out, so I would want to focus on that and what makes you unique as much as possible.
I agree that it sounds cliche. Why don’t you take out the parents and medical school part and focus on what you like about computer science? Maybe start with a scenario that got you interested in CS.
Another thought–I wonder how many reviewers get frustrated by the applicants who push how much they love the major they’re applying to. I’m thinking about a friend of mine who was one of many, many robotics students applying to X college. He wrote about how much he loved robotics. So he may have been one of many writing this same essay. Needless to say, he didn’t get in.
Even a cliche topic can work if you write it very well. Start writing and see where it takes you. But be sure to focus on you (your interests, drive, etc.) and not your parents. Keep in mind that the essay should: 1) tell something about yourself that can’t be found elsewhere on the application and 2) give the admissions officer a reason to want you on campus.
I don’t know how much the essay matters for Purdue or UIUC, but OP also mentioned Stanford and USC. For the latter (or schools in their range,) OP needs to show not just his own interests or passions or what he likes about CS. It’s not a straight answer question about why he wants to study this. Or who he is.
They’ll be looking for strengths that matter in that field and in that campus community, woven into some nice tale (again, show not tell.)
I think OP needs to find the right safeties and matches. And learn what they look for, so he can show that. There will be schools where the essay matters less (or barely.)
Instead of focusing on your parents’ pressuring you to be a doctor and you pursuing CSci, which would be pretty cliché and subject to the pitfalls described upthread, perhaps an alternate direction you could take is showing your independence in thought and action, using your choice of CSci over your parents’ wishes as one of the supporting anecdotes. You can then bring in other anecdotes throughout your life and in a variety of areas/subjects (not necessarily limited to academics). This may be a good approach if you have already established your bonafides in CSci elsewhere in the app.
I feel like this topic would have more potential if you were talking about rejecting medicine for something that subverted traditional expectations more than CS does. (Reference, for example, Hasan Minhaj’s bits about becoming a standup comedian rather than a doctor.) Turning your back on the #1 stereotypical aspiration for South Asian students in order to pursue the #2 stereotypical aspiration feels a little weak to carry the whole essay. I second @BKSquared 's suggestion to demote this topic to be one of several examples supporting a larger theme.
No one is going to be impressed if you tell them how you were able to overcome someone else’s bias regarding a potential career. Instead you should focus on showing what makes you interesting or special. If you come up with something that could have been written by 10,000 other potential candidates, then you might want to go back to the drawing board.
It needs to be relevant to what they look for. It’s fine to include that you rejected your parents’ notions, in favor of your own. But then what? How about showing how you worked with others, stretched, gave others opportunities, expanded outside stem, rounded, had some impact beyond the four walls of your hs. See the difference?
A lot of adults like kids that stand up for themselves, but then when those kids go further. I’d like to know how you did. Your original topic was only about that conflict, not how you challenged yourself, grew, and did with (and for) others.
My guess is you don’t know enough about your targets, what they do look for.