@beaglemom I’ll be curious to hear where he decides to go!
Our experience was much like what @musicprnt describes. Although the scholarship amounts varied wildly, the final out-of-pocket expense for us across the 5 schools to which he applied and was accepted hovered within a narrow range - clearly what the calculation from the financial aid forms indicated we should be able to pay. My son asked for more money from his second choice school and received enough to bring it just under the others. I do think several things we did were helpful: letting one interested professor know that money would be a factor in his decision, S asking for a scholarship increase at one post-admission lesson, and us visiting the financial aid office of another school in person to request an adjustment to his FA package. I have learned a lot and believe that S has, as well - he has never been afraid of “the ask” and I think it served him well in this process. Of course, we gained a pretty good sense of where he ranked from the responses he got and this informed his choices, as well.