To put it very briefly, my prospective major is biochemistry, and there’s a reason for that. I’ve always loved nature, and that comes down to how life is intertwined with it. Leaves changing color, the sound of crickets…it makes me feel at peace. I even admire the ugly, aggressive parts of nature as in predator-prey relationships because of the beauty to be found in its complexity. And why does that all happen? Because of biochem. Biochem makes it possible not only for me to exist but for the living things that bring me joy and peace to exist, so I’ve never stopped looking for a deeper understanding of it.
I think I could really convey my passion for biochem and make it contagious if I developed this more. I think it could also show that I value art and aesthetic which is a detail not present in any other part of my application. My only concern is that it doesn’t surround any kind of problem or obstacle. Does that make it boring and ineffective?
I think this is incredibly beautiful!!! As long as you are descriptive (you’ve already described it very poetically) I believe you’ll write a great essay!
Dude, I like it! Who cares it’s not a “problem” or “obstacle”, like I tell the kids I help…start with a moment, hook your reader in! But don’t be super complex it will just confuse the reader…then develop themes from that one moment (your passion of Biochemistry and how you plan to pursue that)…then circle back to the beginning moment! Let me know if you would like me to read it! I love reading students’ essays and helping them get to the college of their dreams
I find the way you describe you thoughts and essay idea to be very engaging which tells me you are obviously a talented writer. I agree with the first poster that it is beautiful and poetic. I’m certain you can develop a wonderful essay. With what you wrote here it made me want to read more. Your thoughts here give us a glimpse into you which is what the goal of the essay is.
Whoops I posted the comment I meant for you OP in some other thread.
We love nature at our house. If you get stuck, read some Mary Oliver with Charles Darwin, both fabulous nature observers–observing is how you get good at nature writing.
