<p>This is the first college supplement that i've written so far.. i have no idea if these are supposed to be like essays or short answers, but here it is..</p>
<p>Question:How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend? (Early candidates: Please include a statement indicating why you are applying early.)</p>
<p>Answer:Whenever I came across Colorado College while researching schools on College Board it immediately caught my attention because of its location and high academic standards. After many hours of research I became confident in Colorado College being the college for me because it has my intended major, a beautiful campus, a variety of social niches within the student body, and the possibility for me to play on their tennis team. Ever since I was little I have been visiting Colorado on a consistent basis because we have family that lives there, and each time Im left wondering why we cant just stay to enjoy the scenery for a little longer. The reason that I am applying early action to your school and hope to become a Tiger is not only because I feel like your school has a lot to offer to me, but I also feel like I can bring a lot to your school through my academics, athletics, and social qualities.</p>
<p>Please give me some constructive criticism..</p>
<p>This is a great start, no doubt! I love what you said about wanting to stay to enjoy the scenery, that’s a great detail. I don’t love the last sentence about why you’re applying EA, though. Maybe say something along the lines of “The reason I’m applying early action to your school is because I can’t imagine being anything other than a Tiger. There is no better place for me to study English (or whatever), and I can’t wait to have classes in Smith Hall (or whatever the English hall is).” Just try to address some specifics if possible, like mentioning how they have a strong program for your intended major. If you’re undecided, mention how you have confidence going to a school that is so strong across the board since you can’t decide what you want to study yet. It’s definitely good to conclude the way you did, by mentioning how you can also bring something good to the table for the school! But overall, I think this is a really great “Why us?” response! Nicely done!</p>
<p>Awesome thank you! i’m in the process of answering my second supplement question so do you think that if i post that one up on this thread as well that you could help me out?</p>
<p>Alright so here it is for supplement 1: Whenever I came across Colorado College while researching schools on College Board it immediately caught my attention because of its’ location and high academic standards. After many hours of research I became confident in Colorado College being the college for me because it has my intended major, a beautiful campus, a variety of social niches within the student body, and the possibility for me to play on their tennis team. Ever since I was little I have been visiting Colorado on a consistent basis because we have family that lives there, and each time I’m left wondering why we can’t just stay to enjoy the scenery for a little longer. I hope to become a Tiger not only because I feel like your school has a lot to offer to me, but I also feel like I can bring a lot to your school through my academics, athletics, and social qualities. The reason that I am applying early action to your school is because I can’t imagine myself being anything other than a tiger. There is no better place for me to study biochemistry, and I cannot wait to have classes in Olin Hall.</p>
<p>@stewfoo412: Sorry dude. I just noticed a few grammatical errors in your supplement.
I think you mean “When” instead of “Whenever”. You just implied that each time u visited the site, it immediately gets your attention. :)</p>
<p>Also, you’re missing several commas in your short essay.</p>
<p>Apart from that though, I think you spent too much time discussing their scenery. I mean a lot of good colleges have good scenaries, and quite possibly your intended major.
You might want to be a little more specific on what exactly your major is, which program your applying to, how that program is different from others at other colleges, what sets the academic curriculum apart from others. Though it seems that you are appreciative of this college, this essay seems pretty generic. Do a little more research and mention more specifics in your supplement, so you can articulate why you fit that college and how that college fits you.</p>
<p>oh wow. I think my response was a bit late.
rw2013 also seems to have covered a lot of my points. But if you have anything to take away from my reply, please go ahead.</p>
<p>You still need change Whenever to When I first…
comma after “College board”
comma after “research”
comma after “little”
change I’m to I</p>
<p>Also, with regard to the latest supplement, could you elaborate what qualities you have that match the school (leadership, passion, etc.)</p>
<p>And I’m not completely sure about that second to last sentence. I know you really like this school, but you sacrifice the appearance of being open-minded. (Just a suggestion, but consider it.)</p>
<p>Otherwise, the second is a lot better than your first.</p>
<p>When I first came across Colorado College while researching schools on College Board, it immediately caught my attention because of its’ location and high academic standards. After many hours of research, I became confident in Colorado College being the college for me because it has my intended major, a beautiful campus, a variety of social niches within the student body, and the possibility for me to play on their tennis team. Ever since I was little, I have been visiting Colorado on a consistent basis because we have family that lives there, and each time I left wondering why we couldn’t just stay to enjoy the scenery for a little longer. I hope to become a Tiger not only because I feel like your school has a lot to offer to me, but I also feel like I can bring a lot to your school through my academics, athletics, and leadership qualities. The reason that I am applying early action to your school is because I feel like I fit the profile of a Tiger very well. There is no better place for me to study biochemistry, and I cannot wait to have classes in Olin Hall. </p>
<p>Sorry, I feel like I missed a lot! But your most recent post sounds awesome. Lehigh2017 had some great advice and you definitely took it into account well. The only last thing I have to say is it should be “its location” and in the beginning when you’re listing why you like the school, maybe say “it has my intended major of biochemistry” instead of just “it had my intended major.”</p>
<p>But, those are just tiny suggestions, overall it’s very well done! Congrats! As far as your second one goes, I’ll definitely take a look at it whenever you’re ready. Post it here whenever it’s done! :)</p>
<p>alright cool. Here’s the second and last supplement:</p>
<p>Question-The Block Plan at Colorado College has a tradition of innovation and flexibility. Please design your own three-and-a-half week intellectual adventure and describe what you would do.</p>
<p>My Answer-Colorado College’s block plan offers its’ students the opportunity to fully devote themselves to a single area of study. With the block plan’s single-course-at-a-time complexion students and teachers have the time to pursue an in-depth and original method of learning. Approximately eighty percent of the student population at Colorado College is from a state other than Colorado. With that being said, if there were to be a course that studied the topography of Colorado then it would help the students who are new to the area learn about what their new home has to offer. An original way of learning about Colorado’s outdoors would be a weekly trip that would involve hiking, mountain biking, or rafting through the mountains so that students could get a real life experience of Colorado’s landscape rather than reading about it in a textbook. As a result of this study being highly interactive, students would learn more than they would in a classroom, and the kids that are new to the area would learn about the many activities that they could participate in when they aren’t at school studying.</p>
<p>In your beginning, I wouldn’t go through the motions of describing the block plan, I’m sure your readers are familiar with it. I would start with an introductory sentence, but then jump to “Approximately 80% of the student population…” Then just a few revisions to improve the flow: revise next sentence to “…if there was a course focused on the topography of Colorado, it would help out-of-state students and those unfamiliar with the area to learn about what their new home has to offer.” Then instead of calling it a “real life experience” call it a “hands-on experience of Colorado’s landscape”. In the next sentence, you can also just say “As a result of this highly interactive study, students would learn…” I would also conclude the last sentence by revising it to say “…and those students who are new to the area would learn about the many outdoor activities they could take advantage of during their leisure time.”</p>
<p>Sorry if you’re confused by any of this, I can clarify if needed. In my opinion, you wrote about a really solid idea, you just needed to improve the flow a little bit so that’s what i focused on! Let me know if you need any other help!</p>
<p>The definition of innovative is the introduction of something original or new. Because innovativeness is interlaced with Colorado College’s block plan they must continually think of original or new ways to go about teaching their students. I believe that in order to help continue this tradition Colorado College should introduce a class that studies the topography of Colorado. Approximately eighty percent of the students at Colorado College are from another state. If there were to be a course that focused on the topography of Colorado, it would help out-of-state students and those unfamiliar with the area to learn about what their new home has to offer. An original way of learning about Colorado’s outdoors would be a weekly trip that would involve hiking, mountain biking, or rafting through the mountains so that students could get a hands-on experience of Colorado’s landscape rather than reading about it in a textbook. As a result of this highly interactive method of study, students would learn more than they would in a classroom, and those students who are new to the area would learn about the many outdoor activities that they could take advantage of in their leisure time.</p>