Is this too personal/negative to put in the "additional comments" section of the PS?

<p>For the UCs.</p>

<p>"In the spring of my sophomore year, my father, who has a personality disorder, left his commission job, creating financial stress. In September 2012, my junior year, my parents, both unemployed, separated when my father began living with another woman, causing familial, financial, and some emotional stress, affecting my ability to study and complete work in a adequately stable home environment and to obtain funds for materials useful or necessary for school and for personal use. More stress followed when my father put the only car that my mother and I had in possession, which my father's sister had bought in my father's name, for sale on the internet for a period of time. I believe these disadvantages and stressful circumstances negatively affected my performance in the fall terms of AP Language and Composition and AP Calculus AB. In early December 2012, my parents, still both unemployed, began living together again in the house where I lived, which also caused familial and emotional stress for the rest of the school-year and may have affected my ability to perform my best in my school-work. However, I was able to achieve in most classes during this time through perseverance and dedication to my education, and I have learned to overcome such stress and to not let personal problems interfere with my performance."</p>

<p>I want to include something about my family problems, because it really was a crazy situation and kind of messed me up. But does this make me look like I can't handle things or am too self-pitying? Do you have any edits for it that would make it less so? Should I include it at all?</p>

<p>P.S. The grades that I got in the classes mentioned were Bs - the Lang grade my only B in an English class throughout high school, so I think it's quite reasonable to say that I wasn't performing at my best, at least for that class.</p>

<p>I don’t think that you should include that at all. Honestly, I think it’s pretty need to write an entire essay explaining why you got two B’s throughout high school. Even the Ivies won’t hold that against you. Plus, while it’s clear that you were in a difficult situation, I don’t think it’ll explain lower grades. Also, the last couple sentences (of the actual essay) make it clear that you’re turning this into a third personal statement, talking about how you got through this difficult experience due to hard work and perseverance and ultimately learned an important life lesson. This section isn’t a third PS, and you shouldn’t turn it into one. If that experience really is important to you, then PS#2 would be a much better place to talk about it. Bottom line, this experience is great if you’re using it to demonstrate some personal growth or some quality about you - but not so great if you’re using it to explain two B’s you got one semester.</p>