Thank you, thank you!!! How many of us are the same people we were at 17? Why are we looking at college through the lens of glorified trade school (I have kids who went to co-op tech after high school, became plumbers and electricians and are making great money- for little cash outlay).
Everyone has a story, a kid or a friend of a kid to support their position.
My kid attended an Ivy going to do STEM and graduated as a religion major (got hooked on her freshman seminar), who now does cybersecurity (who would have thought). But I had no problem with her getting an education in what ever she was interested in pursuing- because when she graduated there was going to be 45 years between graduation and retirement (plenty of jobs , career changes out there to think about).
At the end of the day, she got an excellent education, some ride or die for friends, and gives back as part of the alumni network. She had a job offer after graduation, which she turned down to teach young children how to read (took a gap year after graduating college).
She never went there with the mindset of going into IB/MC (she has never been one to chase a dollar) although she has many friends who went that route (she says HBS loves us as most of them are HBS grads). Many said while the money is great, they were not happy and went on to do other things.
One of her best friends was a sociology major who is now global VP of marketing at a major firm, another was a creative writing major who had some really great jobs and now works at FB (lots of friends at FB/Google who are constantly reaching out to her to come work with them). Plenty of friends who are doctors, lawyers, teachers, politicians, and working non-profits. I don’t think any of them have regretted their education.
I am of the mindset that you cannot always equate wealth in terms of dollars and cents (left corporate money to work with kids) along with your gift will make room for you.
I think the family needs to think about the +/- of every situation. They can look at the financial piece from the perspective of eating an elephant- one bite at a time. Year 1: parents, paying 5, student borrowing $5.5, is there an after school or summer job (what does the affordability story look like?). there will be tax credits that can be applied to the cost down the line, summer jobs, internships, etc.
Nothing for nothing, there are plenty of students who have attended schools that are not Yale with more than 60K of debt (especially those who are part of the middle class squeeze- too much $$ for financial aid and not enough to comfortably write a check anywhere).