Jumbo Parents

Thanks. We have a BofA right near our house, so that worked out the best.

Am trying to confirm mailing address for student, lol.

Is it really just name, dorm and room, at Tufts U., Medford, MA, 02155 ?? That would be simple! And are there different pick-up stations uphill and downhill, or do all collect mail at one place? (vaguely remember reading one place and is uphill)

Thanks in advance.

No worries, it’s all perfectly clear on the web site, the difference between letters and packages being 389 Boston Avenue. Should have gone there first, of course.

My D is going to Amazon Prime some of her books, and I’ve noticed that whenever I put in her Tufts address, Amazon changes it. (For one, they split up the name of her dorm into two words and also keep putting the “c/o” on the first line when I’ve entered it on the second line.) Has anyone else encountered this issue?

Also, can I just say that I’m glad this group exists here - there is no Tufts Parents’ FB group or anything for parents to chat with each other…which is so odd!!

Now that orientation is over, I am writing to see if anyone’s child had a similar experience to mine. We had decided not to do a pre-orientation program - thought it might be logistically difficult for us, didn’t seem to be hugely important when we asked about it, was told that only about half the students do them, etc. BIG mistake it turns out. My D felt that everyone already had their friend groups when she arrived on matriculation day and she is finding it hard to catch up. She tells me that it seemed like 80-90% of the freshman did one of those programs. I am assuming that the impact of this will wash out over time, now that classes are starting and there are increased opportunities for meeting new people. Still- she had a bit of a rough orientation week and it makes me feel that perhaps these pre-O’s should be mandatory for all students, rather than giving so much of an advantage to some. Any similar experiences, or reassurances that I can tell my D?

I do think that the emphasis should be on the “will wash out” idea. She needs to be open to people in her dorm, especially, and to engage with the community not just through being friendly in classes, but also by trying to join whatever group/s suits her fancy. It may seem like most did the pre-O, but that clearly is not the case, and she needs to leave that thinking behind. Instead, there are many, many kids who probably have similar feelings to hers, she’s not alone, but she needs to push on, be herself, and know it will all work out, or wash out, in due course. My son did TWO, but I got the impression that he was mostly with maybe eight other people, and once back in Somerville, they are not necessarily close by for hanging with. He met other kids these past five days and they seem just as important as the ones from before. Give your daughter some reassurances but I wouldn’t allow this to devolve into daily commiseration with you. Our experience as a boarding school family (teacher and students) is that minimal contact the first week and even longer is good; homesickness lingers when the strings are played too much. I realize that your daughter might reject homesickness as the issue, but independence is what you’re pushing for now, certainly. Best wishes!

I can only speak to my son’s experience, which I hope your daughter and you will find reassuring. He did do one of the pre-O programs; he enjoyed it and made a few friends. But as a freshman, the friends he really became close to were the people in his dorm, including his roommate, in his classes and his ECs (and he continues to make new friends each year), none of whom were on his pre-O program. Now two years later, it’s those kids that he’s seen over spring and summer breaks, and with whom he’s renting an off-campus apartment. So, while I can appreciate her feeling that kids have formed some friendships through the pre-O programs, it’s just a matter of time, and probably not all that long, before she becomes friendly with the kids in her dorm, her classes and her ECs.

My son also started at Tufts this past week. And he, like the 3 or 4 kids he knows from home, did not participate in the pre-O programs. Yes, I do think that put him at a bit of a disadvantage at the start. But we are hoping that as school settles in he will become more comfortable in the community. I really don’t feel I have a good grasp on how things are going, although we communicate regularly, as this is our first child in college and I have no benchmark from which to compare. I can categorically state that this has been difficult on the parents; especially now that we are 3000 miles away.

My D did FOCUS and while she did meet some nice kids in the program, the friends she is starting to make now seem to be either in the dorm or through campus organizations. Her roommate did TWO and the TWO kids seem a little more bonded with each other - but D and her roommate have become good friends (they did choose each other through the roommate FB group). The Orientation group was another good way to meet folks - and classes will be as well. I think it takes a good month for kids to get acclimated, so tell your daughter to hang in there!!

'19 parent here, my D’s Wilderness pre-O was a bit of a disaster and she really didn’t make any friends from her small group (~8 ppl) , so like those that didn’t do pre-O, orientation was a little tough. It does all “wash out” after a few weeks. She is close with her hall/dorm mates and made most friends through an EC.

Best wishes to the new parents- “It gets better”.

My '19 D wanted to do TWO but didn’t, and it had no impact on friendships or groups or anything. Most of the kids do not participate in one of these programs, and while I would guess all incoming freshmen are worried about not finding friends, I think the vast majority at Tufts do. Hardly anyone transfers out, which is a testament to how well the students and school have picked each other. We are also across the country, and at the beginning of that first year, she had some insecurity and anxiety about being in a new place with no familiar faces, that caused us parental concern and lasted literally about 12 hours. The advisory class, ECs, and dorm contacts are much more rich with friendship potential than the few days a bunch of kids are thrown together.

Can anyone weigh in on their kid’s spending and how much they needed each year? My freshman tells me that every week she has to say no to kids who are going out to dinner in Boston, etc. and it’s difficult. She has $2100 to spend for the year including books but she says many kids seem to have unlimited money to spend. I know that’s probably true at every college but I’ve had other kids go through college already who have never mentioned this as an issue. Input?

@GossamerWings, Tufts is a need-aware school, and while they absolutely have lower income and middle class students, a lot of kids I’ve met on campus (particularly international students) are not actively budgeting . Boston is an expensive area inherently and the many restaurants/shops on campus and in the surrounding area are tempting and expensive. My budget is a firm $50/week including T fare (I take a class at BU 3x a week). I have to say no to some opportunities already because of money, but I still have enough for necessities and one “treat” a week (going out to a cheaper dinner, etc). It sucks, but in the long run someone who knows how to make a budget and stick with it is going to have better long term financial success.

My daughter just graduated, but she had a budget of about $1800 per semester to spend, including buying books. However, she also had an on-campus job where she made about $60 a week and that was perfect for spending money. She never had an issue.

I think it can really vary – last year at a freshman orientation gathering I overheard a father tell his son he was getting $100/month, and there are other kids who have Mommy and Daddy’s card and just run with it!! Our daughter is a sophomore. We pay for books, and other college necessities (fridge, rug, etc). Books she orders primarily online, because it’s a lot cheaper than the bookstore. We made it clear she’s to buy used whenever possible, and that the campus bookstore should be the last resort (though sometimes it’s the only place offering the text). As for “other” spending, she gets $200/month. She is learning to budget, has $ to do fun things, and I think it’s working out quite well.

We have a senior at Tufts - he has done fine on $100 month (but I keep that going in summer too). He is frugal but travels at will on the T so he has not limited going places, just how much he spends when there. Every person is different, and on rare occasions we throw a few bucks at special situations/opportunities if it really makes sense and we can afford to do so - man, college is expensive! We did have him on the top food plan until this year so that he was always ready to go and not skipping meals. He is very responsible and we treat him like an adult and he gets it. We also encouraged him to get volunteer or research opportunities in the summer for the first two years rather than just a “job”. It was tough financially, but paid off because he got great experience and a good internship over this past summer - paid. He also served as an RA for two years so he more than contributed. Not sure how we all have made it, but so far so good!

^^ helpful to see the variety of experiences and perspectives on a fundamental issue

Hi, Jumbo parents. I wanted some advice on off-campus housing. My D is a sophomore and has been trying to get the housing sorted out for next year.

Here are the problems she has asked me for advice on

  1. She is very short on time as she is doing a double major and a double degree. Some real estate brokers have tried to scare her into appointing them to search for her hosuing. What they have been telling her is she dows not move fast she will be homeless! She has not signed anything. Anyone know of a good real estate agent that can help? Do people even use real estate agents? is there anyone else that can help?
  2. She is part of a group of 4. She is worried that is the lease is in her name, and one of er friends does not pay she is on the hook for the rent. Is there no way she can get a landlord to sign individual rental agreements with each one of them?

Thanks in advance for your help

Surprisingly, a lot of people there use real estate agents for rentals, and there is a fee. Not the case where we are from. Anyway, my daughter and 3 friends all signed the lease, so they’re all on the hook. All parents had to co-sign. Landlord requires 1 rent check- so they designate someone to pay that month and they give their rent $ to that person, and that person writes the rent check. They used Boardwalk Properties on Harvard Ave. Good luck!

Also, timing wise, after a couple months of looking, she signed her lease April 15 this year; graduated in May and moved in June 1. Near campus. Even though she works in Brighton. But- Tufts area is her comfort zone.