<p>I pm’d thelongroad- realized I had asked too personal a question on public board. However, I VERY MUCH appreciate any others willing to share their young athlete’s experiences getting started at academically rigorous schools. We are still trying to decide whether to go this route, and could use the advice. Thanks.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have announced the school, except that the poster has posted a lot on the Yale forum, so it wasn’t exactly a secret. :)</p>
<p>Need some insight to the process after the official visit. Will every school let my D know if they want her right away? What kind of feedback should she be getting? Anyone who cares to share their experience would be great. Do some schools make you commit to them before they show their hand? I know that she had to decide which school is her first choice, but what if she isn’t their first choice? Do they always make this clear?</p>
<p>Some schools/coaches can be quite cagey. One year Yale’s top swimming recruit commited to them and applied ED (or EA, whatever it was at that point), and the coach took a chance and didn’t use a tip on her. She didn’t get in and was devastated. MOST coaches will be honest and tell the recruit that if they are willing to commit and/or apply ED, they will slot them for admission. If they have other stronger recruits, they may tell the kid where they stand on the list. You need to flat out ask!</p>
<p>I second MomofWildChild. You have to flat out ask! How many athletes are you supporting through admissions? Am I one of them? Where am I on that list? Could that change (i.e. could I get bumped off your supported list at this point)?
riverrunner - didn’t mean to scare you! Just wanted to make the point that things aren’t always so rosy, even when you go in with eyes wide open.
Fortunately, the coach and team are great - very supportive - there is just a lot of adjustment as a freshman. Things would be much worse if she hadn’t picked a coach she loves. Official visits are key.
As far as the academic rigors, that depends on the kid. Some are better able to handle it. My D has not complained in that regard. However, she has adjusted her goals realistically. Not expecting all A’s in college.</p>
<p>Did you as the parent ever ask or is it best coming from the student?</p>
<p>Also…is phone or email the best method? This is stressful!!</p>
<p>I think it’s best coming from the student. Phone or e-mail: that depends I guess. If the student has the opportuntity to ask on the phone or in person, that’s what I would recommend. Since you could sense whether the coach was hedging a little. I suppose if email has been the primary mode of communication, then that’s fine too. Also the student might feel more comfortable asking in an email. Just make sure the questions get asked one way or the other.</p>
<p>I think it is best for the parents to ask the coach in person, with their child sitting there, if possible. If not, phone is better so you can gage the sincerity of the coach by listening to his/her voice. Put your kid on the line as well. Then, follow up with an email confirming details of the phone call with a question at the end so the coach has to respond to the email. Really, it all comes down to trust, and although I hate to say it, trust can be in short supply in collegiate athletics.</p>
<p>My sense is that we still have another week or so of officials before coaches have seen everyone and can give a very accurate gauge of their list. If you ask now, they may not be able to give you the kind of precise answer that you want. I could be wrong, though.</p>
<p>Bessie,
As a parent, I would be wary of getting too involved. After all, the coach is recruiting your child, not you. They want to think that the student is making the decision. If your child is not comfortable asking the coach these questions, then he/she is probably not comfortable with the coach period, and should consider that fact. There have been all kinds of stories of pushy parents with coaches and the negative impact. I have heard some of these stories personally from coaches. My own approach has been to let my kids handle all conversations and correspondence. The only time I have actually spoken to a coach or met with one, has been on official visits at their invitation (except for the obligatory handshake and introductions). Of course, I have asked my kids to document everything said or received and put it in a file, so they know how and when to follow up.</p>
<p>We’re going through this too, one coach says they definitely “support” us and “trust me” and all that, but aren’t able to give a likely right now, maybe later in October. Another says we are #2 on list, call back in 2-3 weeks and a 3rd says if we commit right now, they will issue the likely. Of course the top choices are the least certain and anecdotally we hear slots are being filled. Definitely a game that is half chicken, half musical chairs. Child handling phone discussions which makes it all the more nerve-wracking. “Support” can mean so many things depending on the school and coach. MOWC’s story on swimming is what has us most concerned since we’ve heard a few of these ourselves. Foto2gem - our experience is that coaches said they would follow up after the visits, but didn’t, but did come back later. I just think they are busy and juggling a lot and don’t usually remember what they say to each recruit (although of course the recruits remember precisely). No problem initiating contact yourself, it’s easier if you know for sure which school is your first choice. There are no rules, every situation is difference.</p>
<p>I guess every coach that recruited my son felt that 17 year old kids might need parental guidance when making such a major decision. They all “recruited” the parents as strongly as the child. They called us constantly and tried very hard to maintain a relationship with us and all of the other parents. As I said before, we were invited (and expected) to come on the official visit. Kids often have a hard time being very direct with adults who are in a position of authority over them; by asking direct questions in the presence of our son, my husband and I showed him how to ask for information he needed in a diplomatic fashion. I know sports and schools can be different. My good friend had the opposite experience and had little or no contact with the coach during recruiting. I suppose the recruiting foreshadows the college experience. I have complete access to the coach and can call him anytime I want. I don’t happen to do that, and I never ask about playing time or specific games, but I hear from him every month or two just to trade information about my son and his progress. I appreciate knowing that I can call him anytime if necessary. Just as in business and life, every person needs to assess the folks they are dealing with and act as they feel is appropriate. I would, however, be very wary of sending my child off somewhere if I wasn’t even comfortable enough to ask the coach where my child stands in the recruiting process. There is a little part of me that thinks having a parent present for the important questions might cut down the BS factor a little bit.</p>
<p>I generally agree that the kid needs to take the lead in most aspects of the college process. That applies to recruiting as well. HOWEVER, we got some interesting information from the Princeton coach. He insisted that we come in the room during our son’s first meeting with him. (our son had ordered us to disappear…) The coach said, “If your son comes to Princeton, I am the adult that is going to have the most contact with him and the most influence on him, and I want you to get to know me.” Therefore, I would not hesitate to telephone the coach, speak with him, ask the hard questions etc. My husband and I also spent some time with the coach at Penn, where my son ended up. The Williams coach made a point of calling the parents regularly during the recruiting process, as well as calling the kid.</p>
<p>The student should take the lead unless the sport is basically semi-professional. Adults should absolutely be involved in semi-professional contracts.</p>
<p>I think it it one thing to get to know the coach and that I totally agree should be done as parents. It’s quite another thing if you, as the parent, are doing all the questioning and pushing with the coaches. I would just be wary of getting too involved in the bartering, questioning aspect or acting like a sports agent. The coach wants to see who the kid is and what he’s made of, not the parent.</p>
<p>Can you identify where the “official college visit” thread is?</p>
<p>recruiting is said to be much like a relationship…“they show me they like me, i show them i like them.” when you are not being contacted by a program regularly at this point, asked to apply for admission, etc…to me that sends up a red flag that you are not a priority recruit and that they are contacting others. sometimes recruits have to move forward and keep chugging along in the process (and it might a lengthy one). that might mean making more visits, contacting more schools, sending out more tape, etc. it’s a pretty anxious time but being pro-active is certainly a better alternative than not being pro-active in the process.</p>
<p>No one has really responded to this one…We have been led to believe that the AI (Academic Index) for Ivy’s is relatively low—170ish, and if this is true, would the representation from a coach that the index of a candidate must be 210 or higher be an indication of a “low” position on the priority list? Is there any rhyme or reason to this or is it coach to coach, year to year, school to school. (I am talking about the Ivy’s now…)</p>
<p>171 is the minimum AI set by the Ivy League. Meaning the Ivies agree not to admit an athlete with an AI below that number. The actual average AI of athletes is much higher and differs from school to school and sport to sport. The 210 may be correct for the sport in question at that school.</p>