Okay so I’ve negotiated with my mom and she has agreed to help set up loans for the Fall semester and she’ll live with me in room next to the school. However, after that I’m on my own completely. We’re on quarter system so that’s like 10 weeks. The thing is, she still won’t fill out FAFSA, and she maintains that I’m not allowed to have a job under her supervision, and she will be constantly monitoring me.
If she helps me for one semester, wouldn’t that make it even more difficult to get financial aid in the future? Hopefully the kick-out delay will help me a bit, but I’m still not sure what I could do to prepare for it. Do I still fill out the Calworks thing?
sorry guys this situation is so strange, me and my mom have a super terrible relationship as you can tell lol
18 year old. AA in CS. Kicked out of parents house, except dad lives in Asia. Mom won’t let you leave the house but kicked you out. Won’t let you have a job. Won’t help with school. Please make this add up for me.
Here’s my advice. Take your AA degree and go get a job. Find an apartment/roommate and move out. ASAP. Start working. Start being your own person. Do that for a year or two and then go back for the 4 year degree.
Sorry it sounds so strange! I’ve been in community college since middle school (it’s free in my state up to hs graduation) so that’s why I have my degree. My dad does not want to take care of me, but feels guilty I guess so he just send us a check every month. My mom has issues and is abusive and controlling, and keeps going back and forth between being super controlling and then kicking me out. It’s a cycle that’s been going on for years and I can’t stand it anymore, and as you said I need to start being my own person, which I can’t under her household. I didn’t want to mention that because proving abuse stuff to the government is painstaking (I’ve had to go through that in like elementary school) and so I’d really like to just leave her once and for all and forget about her.
My main issue is that even if I get a job, I’d have to leave my household, and I can’t get an apartment without stable income or savings so i’d be practically homeless for a few months at least. I am looking at all of the information yall have been giving me about calworks and stuff, theyve been helpful 
I’m mainly worried that when they ask me about why I got into this situation, they’re gonna ask for proof from my mom, who will not want to get into trouble and will just say she’ll take me back, and bringing her back in will just make the situation even more complicated. That’s why I’m hesitant.
You can’t afford school right now. There’s no way to pay for it. You won’t get the federal student loans without filing the FAFSA. Under no circumstances would I allow her to try to co-sign private loans for you. They’re unaffordable.
You have to work. You can’t afford school without a job and your mom has shown you can’t depend on her for support.
I think you need to start looking for work immediately, but you have to be very careful. How does your mom monitor you? Does she have your email log in info? If so, can you go to the library and set up a new email account? Create a business email (something like John.Jones@gmail) and only log onto it at the library or wherever you’re using the internet. Make a habit of going to the library regularly (tell her you have to study) and just start sending resumes.
I think that is my plan, to apply for jobs. Once the interviews start I’ll have to leave the house though, so I’m still trying to figure out how that’ll work. Either I get aid from whatever programs I can find, or just have no roof for a few months until i can save up for leasing an apartment.
My worry for the school thing is that in that case, I won’t be able to apply for FAFSA until I’m 24, in 6 years. So I won’t be able to go to school affordably until then. Right? That’s why I was trying to ask what information I could possibly need from her for the FAFSA while I still have contact with her, so that at least I do have some chance of financial aid whenever I start school again. If I the documents to prove are not numerous (like if someone could suggest me in my case which exact documents I might need) i have a slim chance of convincing her to give me some info.
The documents that I might be able to get are 1. 4506-T no return (proof no taxable income) 2. bank statements 3. SSN. Are those good enough proof for my financial situation?
How did you pay for the AA in computer science? She didn’t have to file any paperwork?
It is not unusual that you turned 18, graduated from hs and now are on your own. That happens. You are lucky you have an AA degree. Ask for help, get a job, get a paycheck, rent an apartment(or a room from someone). After that, get some advice on going to college.
Don’t take a loan from your mother. It will do no good to go to school for one quarter if you can’t afford to go back in Jan. If you can file the FAFSA by next March, do so for the following year and get Cal money, a Pell grant and whatever else you need to be a full time student.
Community college is free in for middle and high school students, they didn’t make us pay to get the degree for whatever reason.
Have you contacted the career services office to help you with your resume? Can you work on it at the library?
Even if you had an AA, if you graduated from high school spring 2018 you should have applied as a freshman, not a transfer.
Okay people keep saying get a job, get a place to live. I KNOW. I know that’s what I have to do, but my issue is I can’t just go get a place to live.
Parents usually help cosign or use their credit to help their kids get a place (without financial support), I don’t have that and I can’t find many resources for my situation. I don’t have any credit or savings so no place will accept me at least for a few months until I get savings from my job, assuming that I can even get a job. I am trying to find out about jobs, need to build a portfolio this week, etc, I can handle all of that. But i still am trying to figure out how to get emergency housing and stuff from government programs (like CalWorks,) that’s my problem as online doesn’t seem to give much information. If I explain to them the situation, they’re most likely just going to contact my mother and then I can really never escape her. SO that’s the part I need help on right now.
I will try to figure out the job part on my own, that’s my responsibility don’t worry Just mainly the housing stuff really is making me nervous and worried
Do you have friends or are you friendly with any adults who would let you stay with them? No one is expecting you to run out right now and rent your own apartment.
Do you have any friends or family you could stay with for a few weeks?
I have no friends, and no family in this country.
Everyone keeps saying go get a job and go get an apartment! I can’t get a job without leaving the house, as my mom won’t let me. 
Even if I start just the process of getting a job (interviews and such) i’d have to run off. Which I am willing to do for a bit, but being like that for a few months is unsafe.
I’m almost giving up, this seems impossible. I guess I just gotta get out of here and just start applying for jobs. Once I have to start doing interviews,I gotta leave and if I have to be on the streets or couchsurf for a few months, so be it.
You don’t have a single friend from your high school or from your neighborhood? Who participated in your AA program in computer science with you? Utilizing your networks is an important skill.
I went to an independent study school. One of the reasons I really have to leave is my mom monitors all of my talking, even sometimes pretending to be me. She says some weird stuff to them, and I have to explain the situation, and then they just stop talking to me. When I did my AA, I started when I was like 15/16 and everyone there was like 25 (community college). I didn’t talk to anyone. If I did, my mom would monitor (though it’s more reasonable in that situation.) This is a huggeee reason I have to leave because her sheninigans are affecting my mental state and I can’t live a normal teenager life like this.
Your mother won’t let you leave the house … at all? Can you get to the library? What does she think you’re going to do if you can’t afford school and you’re not allowed to work?
@mom2collegekids, Aren’t you from CA? If OP contacts CalWorks for help, would they contact his mom? He’s 18 and wants to work but if he even looks for a job and his mom finds out, she’ll kick him out. I can’t imagine why they’d contact her. He’s not a minor. He should be able to find out his options.
You need a separate email account that you only use at the library.
Independent study means like you just do work at home, the bring the hw to the teacher 1 hour every week or so. I did make friends with a few other kids, but it was mainly just an acquaintance, nothing that would be close enough for me to ask this type of question. I’ll try to contact some people though, you’re right