I love love love to hear how everyone’s DC is doing these first few weeks back! My DD is finally getting into a “routine” of sorts, though she started back a few weeks early than most it seems. The first week and even the second week seemed to be mostly learning the best way for her to juggle all of it. Weeks three and four seem to have gone much smoother now that she knows what’s expected, how much work is given in each class, and how to use her free periods to her advantage! She’s out to breakfast this morning with a friend’s family and then the school has a trip planned to a huge mall today with shopping, food, go carts, movie theaters…
Anyone hearing from their DC the good the bad and the ugly? Mine is buckling under the shear quantity of work…a bit freaked out.
@MAandMEmom Deerfield correct? We aren’t really surprised or upset nor is son. We kind of expected it but maybe not this much this soon? Last year in predominantly accelerated classes the workload was crazy too but I think there was a lot more mindless make-work. He can manage it just barely-time wise. He told us that he went back to his room and took a nap a couple of days ago. The kid hasn’t willingly taken a nap since he was 2.
This thread is great. I would think it’d be useful also for people starting a search for schools. To reiterate: boarding/prep school is not for the faint of heart!
Even at non “HADES” (or any other made up acronym) schools.
For those of you in your first few weeks: the kids will be fine. They will adjust and be leaps and bounds ahead of most college kids with respect to time management. My kid is looking forward to college for all the free time. Haha.
Yes @center my DD is at Deerfield. She seems to love it and hasn’t mentioning yet being overwhelmed. I’m sure that will come. I’m ok and hopefully she will be with meaningful work. Hopefully there won’t be simply busy work.
Our DD is doing great. Not enough communication. A couple of texts and one phone call asking the “where is my…” Got a long email on Friday which made my day! She sounds extremely happy. Said that she made the perfect choice and that she couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Classes are going well. A new language class seems to be the hardest adjustment- from day one they only speak in German. She has signed up with the language lab and plans to spend more time there. I think her biggest adjustment has been how busy they all are. Tryouts for ballet company/EC’s have taken up a lot of her free time- including meals. She’s used to the grab and go though at our house
Senior leadership has been amazing. The older students have been extremely welcoming. Asking her to sit with them at meals, hanging out in her room, offering advice. Very surprised by the grade fluidity. We are surprised by the amount of work and EC obligations the first week! I hope that she can continue to manage her time well and not burn out. I’m afraid she would chose grades/social life over sleep. But right now she is getting to bed between 10-11- hitting that pillow hard! Seasoned BS parents- when does the new, shiny toy euphoria end and the reality set in for them? When can I expect that call?
Winter can be tough. Cabin fever sets in. If catty girl stuff is going to happen, that’s a time when it can fester.
Good advice doschicos- I can at least pass along that “this is normal”… I can also imagine that some of the students super friendliness will falter when class work starts loading up. Winter will be interesting anyway. She’s never experienced real cold
The Good:
- Loves classes (except one, see “Bad” below), especially math and science which are ones that AppleKid couldn’t have taken this year locally.
- Loves being on a sports team. It’s been an instant community within a community.
- Getting amazing support from faculty advisor and other adults on campus. AppleKid hasn’t been afraid to ask for help and is getting it.
- Community engagement (service) spots are first-come, first-serve, and AppleKid managed to sign up in time to get a spot which is an accomplishment better appreciated in light of the “Ugly” below.
The Bad:
- Language class (is there an echo in here?). Full immersion was expected but the difficulty in adjusting was unanticipated. A move down is still being seriously contemplated, but I’m thinking that at this point AppleKid is going to stick it out.
- AppleKid feels there isn’t enough time to eat a decent breakfast or dinner and has lost weight. I sent bars. I said order pizza (AppleKid has barely spent any money we put into bank account or student account–maybe that should be a good?). This definitely needs to get figured out!
The Ugly:
Missing a first rehearsal because AppleKid lost track of time because of a “really good conversation” with members of the sports team in the dining hall. Oh really? X_X
But as unhappy as I was about that, I realize that the kids have a lot more to manage in their schedules than they did in middle school.
The Hmmm:
- AppleKid and roomy are friendly but are developing their own set of peeps despite having some strong common interests.
- AppleKid participated in 3 tryouts, 2 which seemed to be clear reaches and 1 which seemed to be a good match. AppleKid was successful in one of the reach tryouts (good!), and not successful in the other reach tryout (bad) and the match tryout (ugly!). AppleKid says that at least this allows more time for study and sports, but also still hopes to find an additional opportunity to get involved at school. Lesson to be remembered is not to be afraid to go for reaches, and don’t take for granted what you think is a match. This was true for BS applications too.
“Friendly” is good. No kid should go to a BS or a college with the expectation that the roommate will become the BFF. If that happens, so much the better, But friendly is still better than having the spawn of Satan as your roomie.
And often it is better if they are not besties… being with someone all day AND all night can get old!
THE GOOD
- Friends. Making friends and fitting in was really easy! (Sigh of relief.) She seems to be having a BFF already, plus a small group of close friends, plus quite a few other, “regular” friends. Adviser confirms that.
- Adviser. Super pleased with adviser. Has been in touch with us a couple of times already and has been checking on kid nightly to make sure she’s done all her work. Kid appears skeptical about anyone checking on her at night. (No surprises there - I haven’t done that since 4th grade maybe?)
- Roommate. Very pleasant, getting along smoothly, but having different groups of friends. Seems to work well.
- Older students. They’ve done an outstanding job of reaching out to and mentoring the new students.
- Classes. Not too hard so far, work load has been fine. No late nights. Loves studying with friends in the library.
- Varsity sport. Great coaches, likes her teammates. The older girls have been extremely inclusive.
- ECs/Clubs. Got into one, auditioning for a couple more this week. I’m very glad she is socializing and staying engaged.
- Laundry and room cleaning. She has done laundry several times and has cleaned her room, and her mother had nothing to do with either. This is a major accomplishment!
THE BAD - not bad really, just not so good
- The foreign language honors class has been full immersion, in rapid speed. Kid is a bit startled and the teacher is not very warm and fuzzy. I’m sure she will live.
- She couldn’t get WiFi and install software on her laptop for a week, had to go to the IT for help. All got sorted out yesterday.
- Athletic schedule. Besides the 2-hour daily practice, they’ve traveled every Wednesday and Saturday afternoon. Most of the games this season are away, and travel eats a lot of time.
- No live streaming of games except at a couple of schools. It’s killing me!
THE UGLY
- We screwed up setting her bank account and she is still to receive her debit card and access her money. The silver lining: having no money stimulates creativity! The kid just created a Uber account using my credit card number (with permission) so she can go to town with her friends. That’s why we send them to BS, to figure out stuff, right?
- Room on the 4th floor (no elevator) under the roof and very hot. The concept of AC hasn’t reached New England yet.
This has been harder on me than on her. Sending lots of good wishes to everyone in the same boat!
So far so good on this end, although tempered by the fact that you get information from your child – It seems at DC’s school, the ramp up has been gradual. DC says he is able to get all his work done during study hours, but usually uses a free period to get a head start or complete some homework. School has done a lot of socializing/community building activities, so maybe the teachers know not to overload during initial weeks. DC is a very happy camper, currently. School definitely right fit for DC. DC’s dorm head is his adviser and three of his five teachers actually live in the dorm as well. Enjoying his classes and teachers, playing soccer (who knew you need three tryouts for the thirds team?? – I thought it was basically the freshman team …DC has not played in a few years, so he was very happy to make the team), making friends and joining clubs. We’ll see how it all goes as the workload increases, but we like the balance that has been shown so far. DC also has a single, which is terrific on many levels! Laundry service has also been a win. DC had same issue with Wifi and getting laptop hooked up, hopefully got that worked out…and DC last week said he had a cold, and next day told us he spent night in health center! But DC seems to be really enjoying the experience of boarding school, including heading to town on Sunday mornings for brunch with about 10-12 friends. Only requests so far – large box fan (he had a table fan), which I suspect won’t be needed quite as much as the New England weather approaches…No homesickness, but we did not expect any
Regarding “fit”: As elusive as the concept is, it seems that schools have it down to science. A recent example: DD had a pre-season team camp with five NE BS. She had applied to all five, admitted to one (her current school), waitlisted at three, rejected by one. Based on this experience, she said she can’t see herself at any of the other schools except one waitlist. In her words, it’s hard to articulate it but it’s a certain personality type, or type of competitiveness that seem to distinguish the kids at different schools. Admission decisions seem to be on target.
+1 on Junior year workload ramping up vs. previous years.
@GoatMama , you would be doing all prospective students a great service by repeating your sentiment above again and again, especially as M10 approaches. I think that many parents (and kids) see this after the stress of admissions has passed. I know that we did. DS could not have ended up in a better place, and see it even more clearly now that the 4 years is over. It’s sort of like gardening – the best gardens have all kinds of plants in them, but only ones that can thrive in that soil, climate, etc. Schools are the same.
And as for the “type”, no school takes the same kind of kid over and over – far from it – but there does tend to be something that they know about what will allow a kid to thrive. So as people are applying and wondering whether they are “good enough” for XYZ, that’s just not it. And for now, as kids are settling in to their first years, rest assured that at least 9 times out of 10, if the school felt that the kid belonged there, he or she does.
@31cruzan I wouldn’t have your child put away the fan too soon. Some NE dorms are overheated in the winter and open windows/fans can be see around campus.
@GoatMama As far as AC in NE think of the summer students who get to live in the non-AC dorms! DS1 spent 6 weeks last summer & this one in un-air conditioned dorms. Last summer was on the 15th floor! They had more or less working elevators
I totally agree with @GoatMama on fit! I absolutely KNOW that is the school that she was meant for!