First, run the Net Price Calculator for the colleges you are interested in to see if your family qualifies for any financial aid. If you do not, and only merit aid is on the table, go to collegedata.com and search by college to start getting a better idea of what is possible.
I looked up BU for you. Per collegedata, they offer merit for 7.2% of freshman who had no financial need. The average amount was $17,409. Overall cost of attendance: $65,906. Next look at the average scores for admitted freshman, you should be be WELL ABOVE the average to be in the running for merit aid. (3.6 GPA, 672 M, 624 CR, 648 W, 59% were in the top 10% for school rank).
Also, if your parents aren’t ready/willing to go over all their financial information needed for the NPC, you can go to https://nces.ed.gov/collegenavigator/ to get an average net price by income ranges to give you a ballpark of what to expect.
Good luck & aloha.