Hey, guys!
The other day I was putting off four essays (ahhh, university life) and somehow ended up browsing through the CC forums I used to obsessively post in - most notably the Brown ED Results thread with its horrible, anxious, palpitation-inducing countdown. Just reading it made me tense up and my heart was pounding at about triple the healthy rate because I remember the stress of last year all too well.
I was about as obsessed with Brown as a person can get. I was so overwhelmed with joy and a sense of belonging when I visited campus that I was actually moved almost to tears. (Super emo, right?!) Brown was all I thought about - I wore my Brown hoodie daily, refused to drink tea out of anything but my Brown mug, used only Brown pens and wrote in Brown notebooks, and had Brown memorabilia all over my walls - even the plastic bag from the bookstore went up there. Basically, I nerded out in a big way over the school, and I know most of you are doing the same thing right now. At the time, I was convinced that Brown was the only place quirky, and fun, and passionate, and intelligent to really allow me to flourish. I could justify this for hours - I had list upon list of reasons why Brown was better than any other university.
So when my ED application got rejected, I was crushed. I stayed in bed for days, crying into my pillow, and felt as though my entire world had crumbled. My life as I had planned it was over - or, at least, that’s what I thought. Somehow, I scraped myself out of bed and pumped out more applications - something ridiculous like 11 or 12. To add insult to injury, they all rejected me. How does that even happen…? I had solid grades - not amazing, but As and Bs, good AP and SAT scores, a resume that included several strong passions, and a very interesting life-story which highlighted the difficulties I’d overcome. I had amazing recommendations and fabulous interviews. I was recruited for equestrian teams. But still - I got in a total of zero schools. Life really WAS over, I thought.
But then I took a leap of faith. One more application, I thought. Just one more - and then I’d be done. I decided to apply to a university in the United Kingdom, but only one. From St. Andrews in Scotland, King’s in London, and Kent in Canterbury, I chose Kent - for it’s proximity to the continent, amazing city, and the chance to major in European Culture & Thought - a very Kent degree. So I applied, and a multitude of things went wrong. It was nearing the end of the summer at this point and I considered myself royally effed as first of all, my application was lost, then retrieved and accidentally rejected, then finally re-checked and accepted - but then, the German embassy (I was born in the UK, have a German passport, and have been in the States for 8 years) wouldn’t renew my passport, three days before I was due to fly out. Turns out bawling your eyes out at them helps. Even with my plane ticket in hand, I wasn’t convinced I would end up at university.
But somehow, somehow I did - and now, halfway through my first term at the University of Kent, I am so completely thankful that I was rejected by Brown. Brown IS an incredible school, and those of you who end up there will have a blast. But Kent is the place for me - I’ve honestly never been happier in my life, I love the area, I’ve made the best friends a girl could ask for, potentially met my soulmate (hehe!) and to top it all off, Paris is an hour and a half away! Score!
So my point here is not to stress too much - as trite as it is, you will end up where you’re meant to. And however bad it seems, it could be worse - you could find yourself in August, rejected from 12 schools with not a clue as to what you’re doing - but it will still work out. I never thought I’d survive my breakup with Brown, but I did - and I’m better for it. You are all incredibly bright, creative people with fabulous taste to have chosen Brown, but remember that the school you go to does not define you. The Ivy League title really doesn’t matter, and the high school twerps you’re worried will judge you don’t care where you go anyway. You won’t believe me until you’re at university, but it’s true - so in the meantime, switch off CC for a bit, indulge yourself in some guilty-pleasure movies, and just chill. You’ll be fine. You’ll be more than fine - you’ll have the best time of your life. Look forward to it, and enjoy the ride.
x love from England.
I do hope that I can alleviate a bit of the stress that I know everyone’s experiencing right now - quite frankly, the college application process is MISERABLE!!!