<p>I am currently at community college as a freshman. I was thinking about transferring to a university in the fall of 2011, but now I'm not so sure, and I am thinking about just commuting to a private college.
Pros of me going away:
-I have a low self esteem and I'm not very confident in myself. But I feel that if I stay at home, I won't get any better.
-It could help my self esteem issues and my self confidence.
-In my state, the average state university tuition and fees cost is between $13,000 and $16,000 a year. If I don't go to a university, but rather commute to a private college, I will be paying between $20,000 and $25,000 a year.
-I have 2 brothers who do not contribute to any housework. I do all of the housework for my parents, and it gets frustrating because I am the only one that my parents can rely on to get anything done.<br>
-I feel that I am responsible and mature enough to go away to college. </p>
<p>Cons of me going away:
-I'm not very social because I had a lot of friend problems in high school. I was walked on a lot and my friends made me believe that I wasn't a good friend, so now I'm scared to make friends and I'm a introverted person. I'm a nice girl and will do anything for anyone because I am a people pleaser and I have a guilt problem when I don't meet peoples needs. I also think that the reason why I have a low self esteem and confidence problems is because of all of the friend drama in high school.
-I'm scared that I won't get along with my roommates if I go to a university.
-I'm scared I'll be lonely and have no one to talk to. </p>
<p>My issues aren't academic issues. I am doing well academically. I am looking into 4 state schools. The closest is an hour away, but that is the biggest college and it's not in a very good area. The smallest college, which I think will be the best fit for me, is 3 and a half hours away.
My parents also don't want me going away, but I think their reasons are more because I'm the first born and they are overprotective of me.
What should I do? I have only visited one of the colleges so far, but I am going to visit more soon.</p>
<p>i think you should go to a state school and live in a dorm because it will be way easier to make friends rather than commuting to school. i also think you will make better friends in college, depending on where you go, and you shouldn’t be scared because finding a good niche of friends in college will help you get over your problems. tell your parents to grow up because nothing ****es me off more than overprotective parents. i told my parents im leaving someday no matter what and that i have a right to live my life the way i want to.</p>
<p>sorry i got carried away with my own situation haha but they have to look at it like this that she is going to leave someday and if she wants to leave for college then she’s going to have to convince them its beneficial for everyone.</p>
<p>My brothers are 15 and 12, so they are old enough to do housework, but they don’t, and because I do, my parents rely on me the most to get all of the housework done.
I am paying for my own college, but because my parents don’t want me going away, my dad is convincing me to make my bedroom a “showcase room” and he is convincing me that he will help pay for my college if I commute to a private college. So they are basically bribing me to stay home.<br>
I’m just scared that if I go away and live in a dorm, no one will like me or my personality and I’ll be a loner.</p>
<p>Skipping all the parent/home drama, the issue about being scared to leave home is a common one, but one you can absolutely overcome!</p>
<p>First, know that there are going to be lot of people whom you will like and who will like you - it may take a while to find them and it may be lonely at first, but it’s hard for everyone, not just you, to find the right crowd. Join clubs, a church group, do community service with other students…Do not sit in your room. There are lots of low pressure ways to meet people. Living in a dorm and participating should help. And leave your door open! (As a transfer student, it’s a little harder, but seek out other transfer students. Some schools have orientations targeted to that group.)</p>
<p>Second, if you are reasonably considerate, and it sounds like you’ve been brought up to be so, you should get along fine with a room-mate, although they probably won’t be your best friend. If you aren’t expecting BFF, you won’t be disappointed. Just keep the communication mature and respectful.</p>
<p>Third, lots of people have battle scars from high school. Luckily, that level of immaturity is somewhat less in college and colleges are big enough that when someone makes your life tough, you can avoid them easily and find others who treat you the way you want to be treated. A bad experience in high school isn’t a reason to give up on going away to college.</p>
<p>Finally, if you don’t go away from home, you will spend the rest of your life wondering if you could have done it. You will probably regret it, if the reason you didn’t go was that you were afraid. If you can’t go, because your family can’t afford it, or they need your help, that’s a different situation. But don’t let fear hold you back from experiencing a different world. And yes, a smaller school is definitely a plus for someone who really wants a sense of community.</p>
<p>If your parents will ONLY pay for you to go to college locally, then you may not have any other choice. You won’t have the means to pay your own way elsewhere - tuition, room, board, etc.</p>
<p>However, if you do end up commuting, I suggest that you spend as MUCH time as possible on campus…studying, doing homework, joining clubs, joining study groups, etc.</p>
<p>You should do this for 2 reasons…</p>
<p>1) to make friends…</p>
<p>2) to not be around the house so your brothers will have to do more around the house. I wouldn’t tell my parents that I’m avoiding the house to make my brothers have to do more. I would just let them think that my studies REQUIRED me to be on campus all day long (and well into the evening.)</p>
<p>Right now, while you’re at the CC, you need to start spending a LOT more time there. Use your studies as an excuse. </p>
<p>Apply to several schools.</p>
<p>Once your parents see that you’re not going to be around much anyway, they may let you go away.</p>
<p>You’re probably just going to class and going home. Stop doing that! Join a club or two. Study in the library. Get a part-time job. STAY away from the house!</p>