<p>I'm from Washington state, and I've been accepted at both UW and UNC--Chapel Hill. I'm receiving merit scholarship money and acceptance into the Honors program from UW. I would also, obviously, be entitled to in-state tuition costs at UW. But, if I go to UW, I will be required to live at home for my freshman year. My mom feels that I am not responsible enough, as of yet, to handle life on campus, and she would prefer for me to remain at home. How much do you actually miss, living at home, as opposed to living in a dorm? What are the pros/cons of the situation? Any advice?</p>
<p>Can't speak about how good it is to live on campus being a high school student and all but your parent(s) shouldn't be making you stay home of what they may feel towards you going out on your own. This should be your decision unless they are providing the money for your college education then I suppose they would have a say but I certainly would do everything I could do live on campus even if the school was a block away from my house. Living on campus I would assume would let you bond better with other freshman and allow you to have more privacy making you more independent. That's a pro for living on campus. By staying home the first year you'll end up saving money that would have gone to room and board costs.</p>
<p>My dad commuted to the state college all four years because his family just didn't have the money to pay board. While he still had a great time, I think he missed out on a lot. All of his friends were from the engineering study lounge! My mom, on the other hand, dormed away from home, joined a sorority, and has a lot more interesting college stories to tell.</p>
<p>I think that you can commute and still get the college experience...but I also think it can be tough: you need to really put yourself out there and join a lot of clubs, /especially/ if you are commuting as a freshman. Most of my mom's friends freshman year were from her dorm floor. Also, from what I've read on here, a lot of people feel a disconnect from campus life if they commute. </p>
<p>In short I think your mom is taking away from you fitting in well and having a comfortable, fun time at college. To have gotten into UNC-Chapel Hill you must be an excellent student, which leads me to believe you are probably pretty responsible! Your mom would be surprised how many kids go off to college without knowing how to do laundary, much less get good grades. College is a time to gain that independence, first by moving into a dorm, and then later into an off-campus apartment where you will /really/ live on your own. I think she is having a bit of an empty-nest sydrome! But I think you can coax her out of it; after all, if UNC is even an option for you, your Mom must be willing to let you dorm in /some/ circumstances, which is again what leads me to believe she's being totally irrational.</p>
<p>I'd choose UNC over UW any day - but I guess cost is a major concern for you. If I was forced to live at home for a year, there would be no way you could get me to go to that state school! I really believe it's important to dorm. In the end, the decision is up to you, and if you choose to dorm, your mom needs to know it's time for you to start making your own choices.</p>
<p>When applying to colleges, I refused to seriously consider any school that would allow my parents to make me live at home. I believe it takes away from the college experience and actually hinders your opportunities to learn to be a responsible adult.</p>
<p>I was egar to live in the dorms just to see and experience what it would be like to live away from home. Im not entirely sure that alot of freshman should be living in dorms though. I mean sure your away from your parents which means you can virtually do whatever you want whenever you want. But alot of people arent RESPONSIBLE enough to handle living away from home. Just because your in college doesnt mean that living in dorms is part of the college experience. I know lots of people who commute plus youll save a ton if you dont have to pay room and board.</p>
<p>Although I do miss my home town, my family, and my moms cooking. :)</p>
<p>And living in the dorms doesnt make you a responsible adult. Your overall upbrining is whats gives you the tools to be a productive "responsible" adult.</p>
<p>Living in a dorm has nothing to do with becoming a responsible adult. Look at it this way, who is more responsible - an on-campus student doing whatever he wishes while being bankrolled by his parents, or a student living at home who works, contributes to rent/utilities, and goes to school? </p>
<p>It all very much depends on the situation.</p>
<p>When you're living in the dorms, there is no one to make sure you wake up on time, make sure you go to class, or yell at you for being out late. There is no one there to do your laundry or organize your room or anything like that. Some people avoid this by having their parents put money in their bank accounts whenever they run low but technically you also become financially independent because you have to earn money to buy whatever it is you want and can't just come home and get the money from your parents as easily.</p>
<p>Sure ray, your upbringing may give you the tools to be a responsible adult, but living away from home puts the skills you learn to the test and lets you really develop and fine-tune them by practicing them. You argue that a lot of people are not responsible to handle living away from home. Most students headed off to college have already turned or are about to turn 18. In the United States, at 18 you are responsible enough to vote, fight in wars, drive, be independent of your parents, be responsible for your actions in court including facing the death penalty, etc. (though not drink) If at this point you are still not responsible enough to live away from home, then a crash court is not the worst idea - if living 18 years at home hasn't allowed you to reach that level of responsibility, why would another year or two?</p>
<p>If you don't dorm it you'll probably have 1/2 the friendships if that. I'm 26, have an MBA from a top school, a ridiculously good job and my mom still thinks I'm irresponsible because when she visited a year ago my room was messy since I was in the middle of finals. The point is mothers are going to have that opinion, but the truth is that you are independent enough to live on campus and if you don't you'll be sabbotaging the next three years of college to an extent. I have never met anyone who has lived at home first year who hasn't greatly regretted that decision. I am still best friends with the guys from my first year dorm.</p>
<p>Just because you are old enough to fight in a war, vote, or face the death penalty in criminal ourt, does not mean that you are in anyway a responsible adult. You could be 18 years old and have the MENTALITY of a 14 year old. Does age really=responsibility? No I dont think so. And sure the tools you have in your upbringing really do become fine tuned, but you have to have the right tools first. If your parents are paying your tution, sending you money, basically paying for everything as if you were still living at home, you might as well stay home and commute because that isnt what "responsible" adults do. Responsible parents give their children the right tools that they will need in living away from home. That means, for example, not paying your car note and teaching you that a job is the way you make a decent living and support your self because THATS what responsible adults do in the real world.</p>
<p>I don't understand why you think that living on campus keeps you from having a job or paying your own bills.</p>
<p>Should I spell this out for you Dima? I guess I have to......what I actually ment was that if your parents are paying all of your bills (I gave the example of the car note, insurance, tutition etc.) and basically supporting you in all the ways they did when you were living at home, you might as well stay there and commute because part of being a quote "responsible adult" is knowing that it will ultimatly be your job and your job alone to support your self . In the real world mommy and daddy wont be there with a check for the rent money. And responsible PARENTS stress this to their children.</p>
<p>Alot of college kids feel that their "all grown up" just because they live away from home. Thats bull ****! Living in a dorm away from your parents doesnt up grade you to adult status. Your just an 18 kid doing whatever you want whenever you want under the guise of being an adult.</p>
<p>^ I agree with you rayj.</p>
<p>You have to work on yourself in order to become a responsible adult. Being placed in a certain situation will not automatically make you a responsible adult.</p>
<p>I will agree completely that you have to work for yourself to consider yourself a responsible adult. However, I maintain that it is easier to do that when you are living by yourself and paying your own bills than when you live at home and your parents do everything for you.</p>
<p>How much does dorm life ACTUALLY matter? </p>
<p>What if a freshman had the opportunity to live off-campus (but still relatively close, approximately a block away) with friends for less money?</p>
<p>I guess you'd miss out on making friends from your dorm, but it's a better alternative than living at home. You're still really close to the school, maybe even close enough that you don't have the hassle of a car, and you still have that independence. I don't know, if I had to choose between a dorm and that option, it'd be a tough choice.</p>
<p>I couldn't imagine going to college and still living at home. You really are forced to take responsibility for your own actions. It's gonna be a lot easy to find a place to study on campus (library!!) than at home where there's dozens of things that can distract you. Dorms are also more fun. Besides, you won't have to worry about sneaking in at 7 am from a great night of college fun ;)</p>
<p>I lived in a dorm for two years at one college and then lived in an apartment with my mom for the last three years when I transfered to a different one. I commute 20 miles to school everyday. Personally, I prefer the commuter-student lifestyle because I never really cared much for college life. I treat college more like a job I go to for 8 hours and then go home at the end of the day. Most of the students at my school are commuters so most of the college life occurs off-campus, and students don't have a problem making friends if they don't live in a dorm. Living at home with a parent can cramp your social life if you like to bring friends over. Most of my classmates live with their parents but it doesn't have a significant effect on their social lives, but there is more freedom in having your own place if you can afford the rent. Most of the students at my school have jobs in addition to being full-time students so many don't really experience the typical college life that a student in a dorm at a larger university will experience.</p>