Loneliness in adolescents

A recently published global research study finds that kids today are more lonely than they were a decade ago. Do you share this observation? Here is the article.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140197121000853

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“Beginning in the 2010s, loneliness, depression,and self-harm increased sharply among US adolescents.” Correlates with rise in smart phone usage and increased internet use. Loneliness increased more among girls than boys.

The study discussed in the article suggests, but not with absolute certainty, that adolescent loneliness in caused in large part by the shallowness of social interactions brought on by use of smartphones, internet, & social media which encourage superficial interactions with others.

Smart phones & social media on the internet interfere with socializing by in-person interactions. States that digital media favors shallow ties.

Also notes that loneliness increases with lower unemployment , but does not suggest any explanation for this finding.

The article also touches upon cyber bullying and the fear of missing out.

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I think cell phones and social media really did decrease kid’s ability for more positive and meaningful in person interactions. I’m always shocked to see how glued people are to their phones even when they are with other people. That’s always been a no go at our house.

To this day D keeps her phone on silent, not even vibrate.

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I also think social media makes it look like everyone else is having SO much fun and doing so many interesting things which makes teens feel like they are missing out. I remember pointing out to my daughter how many kids she followed were clearly posting old photos…like it might look like they are having fun but in reality they were at home in their bedrooms posting pictures from the same event they posted about a month ago.

It was also not uncommon for some of her friends to plan outings JUST for the photos. For instance, having a picnic but the point was to take cute photos, not to have fun together. I am sure people looking at the photos thought that there were just having this amazing day together but in reality it was all about the perfect photos. Some of those same friends still post pictures like that years later.

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My boys don’t seem lonely mainly because they have an old fashioned group of neighborhood friends that they hang out with outside most days (playing basketball or soccer, biking, having a bonfire etc). Unfortunately, it’s not the norm. I think phones and other devices have stunted our kids’ social/emotional development and can leave them unable to form the type of relationships that kids need to be happy.

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I think videos and video games helped set the tone. (Of course we could go back to the days of “hide and go seek” and “tag” etc.) But I noticed back in '82 or so when video rentals were becoming a big thing, less kids would gather at the local hang outs after high school games, in fact less would even go to the games. Not as many were staying after for the dances or “stomps” as we called them. More were having private little parties or spending more time by themselves fascinated with the new technology. And now as mentioned several times, we have phones, we use the drive up, we shop without leaving our homes. I think the problem extends beyond our youth.

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Even before COVID, I began to se a big difference @ how teens interact (compared to 15-20 years ago) socially - also in terms of what used to be known as “dating”, attending parties, going out, and preferred activities.

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I tend to agree with @PrdMomto1 that it is that social media lets kids know when they are not included and may increase their FOMO and feeling of loneliness. I also think expectations are much higher for social interactions these days. Think back to when you were young. Yes, you may have played with the kids on the street, but you also likely spent a lot of time alone. My friends and I were not going out to eat (nor was my family) to the extent kids do these days. I was having family dinner, doing dishes and homework, and staying home most school nights. In high school I was out a lot of weekend nights with friends, but my kids did that as well.

One of my kids is likely lonely, but for him the internet has been both good and bad. Good because he is better able to communicate online, but bad because I think he is too dependent on that. My other son stays in touch with his faraway college friends by playing video games together. But he also spends a lot of in-person time with his friends - some of it playing both board games and video games.

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That’s too bad. When my kids were in high school, there was a lot of texting and some social media. I’m sure there were disadvantages. But I did like the way it made it easy for teens to have spur-of-the moment group activities - “be at the movie theater at 7pm if you want to see abc movie with us”.