Anticipatory missing of your daughter? Many times when I was in the car (or someplace) alone during my daughters’ senior years in high school, I would cry. And cherish the moments when you’re with your daughters. I’m sure they’ll always find time to come home, but it will never be the same as when they were living at home.
@Grinnellhopeful - according to their Common Data Set, in 2016, SO admitted 45% overall: The admit rate for men was 35%, while the admit rate for women was 56%:
https://wp.stolaf.edu/ir-e/files/2016/11/CDS-St.-Olaf-Enrollment-Survey-2016_Section-C.pdf
Collegedata.com does the math and has the breakdowns:
https://www.collegedata.com/cs/data/college/college_pg02_tmpl.jhtml?schoolId=1754
@citymama9 - You look at fields on the Common Data Set regarding admission and enrollment. Schools that typically take somewhere along the lines of 50% or more of their incoming classes through ED are practicing yield protection.
For the class that entered in 2016, only 278 students applied ED (221 were accepted). That’s less than 5% of the 6,041 students that applied RD (or which 2,704 were accepted.)
As for enrollment, only 824 of the 2,704 admitted students enrolled. That’s an under 30 percent yield. Don’t think they’re doing much yield protecting.
We also lived in an area with no public transport, and I worked. Sometimes my kid drove me to work if she needed the car. And my kids took buses, planes, trains, shuttles, etc as needed to get home from school. They are likely only coming home for winter break and part or all of the summer from college if they are not close to home. It just seems really tough to manage the insurance and maintenance costs of an extra car when your income is as low as you’ve stated, and be able to afford college as well.
I hesitate to bring this up, but what is your health insurance situation? Some colleges require the student to purchase their college health insurance if you don’t have family insurance that provides decent coverage away at college. Many NPCs don’t show that cost, and then it is a shock when the first bill arrives. The cost of the college plan varies a lot – I’ve seen from ~$1,200 a year to over $3,000/year.
@intparent the kids have health insurance. I don’t. My D won’t have to worry about that part. We just struggle at times with out of pocket.
Again, things are looking up a little with my business. Hopefully, some of the things we have struggled with will get easier.
I just don’t know from week to week.
@rosered55 I think you nailed it. I teared up when I read your post. But I want the best for her. I want her to have something different, something better. She deserves more than this.
Okay, glad to hear it. As long as the insurance has good coverage out of state. Schools will often ask for proof and make their own judgement of whether the insurance is adequate for their location. Although you can sometimes get an override if they rule against that initially.
@LoveTheBard this is good news to me. It seems the odds are in her favor for SO and it will be a joyful occasion in our home if and when she gets the big envelope.
I’m confident in their NPC. And my D is willing to borrow over the 5500 if need be to attend.
I don’t believe they are going to require my D borrow 10,000 a year to attend. I’ve spoken to other families and the NPC matched their actual FA package.
I believe my D would choose to attend SO even if her ACT was a 34. The choir, the opportunity, the people. THE CHOIR. You have to understand the importance of the choir.
If she was an athlete SO would be like a big 10 school…I’m not a huge sports girl, but I think the analogy works?
You asked what she’ll need to bring to college. You can find lists on college websites of what to bring and not bring. You can watch youtube videos on what to bring. I’m guessing if you ask the question on google you’ll get lots of suggestions. Most college rooms aren’t that big so you’re not supposed to bring everything you own. As for missing your D, mine is only a hs junior and when I think of her going off to college I get sad . It’s a wonderful thing to have a child in college, but it comes with major adjustments, I imagine. Hang in there.
There are lists out here. But I wouldn’t worry until she knows where she is going.
@intparent Yes, one step at a time. It’s scary to see her be so vested in such an amazing school that might still be a reach. I’m the one pushing her to submit more applications. She has her mind made up.
You have stated you are new to the process and asked for help thinking of things you haven’t. I was in the same position of having 2 starting college, losing my job, and not being able to pay. We made some tough decisions. For high school we lived in an area with no public transportation, no Lyft or Uber. The insurance rates for them were outrageous even though we only had one car and one child could not drive it (manual transmission), so they did not get their driver’s licenses until the last minute (one at 17, one at 18). They walked, rode bikes, paid friends to drive them to school or activities. That was just one of the hard choices we made in order to afford to live. And Eat. ALL, and I mean ALL, their friends had cars. Mine walked or made other arrangements. There was a school bus, and if they didn’t want to take it (they didn’t), they paid their friends for a ride.
My kids are 10 months apart. They go to school 2200 miles apart. They see each other at Christmas and in the summer. They text and talk almost daily. It is a choice your child will have to make to not see her sister as often if she wants to go ‘away’ to school.
You asked for ways to make schools affordable. I agree that staying within driving distance is a good idea if your daughter wants to come home more than at Christmas, but I don’t think 6 hours is doable more than twice a year. My daughter doesn’t come home for Thanksgiving because of the expense but mostly because of the time. Her school is only out 4.5 day, and it takes too long to travel anywhere.
Things to think about:
- Cars at school cost a lot of money. A lot. If you have emergency service as part of your car insurance, know that those towing and jump start charges will count as claims. Learned that the hard way! Get AAA. If you feel it is necessary that she have a car, that's your choice but we are just pointing out that it's a very large cost for a college student.
- Going away to school means being away. Now there is free long distance and texts and Skype, but you are away from home. She is going to miss stuff.
3.She may not be coming home to work or even visit in the summer. Many students do not when they get better offers at school, get internships out of state, or want to stay to be with friends. I lived at home the summer after my first year in college (I was 17) but never again after that.
- Any money not used for Qualified Expenses (tuition, fees, books) will be taxed. New tax rules might be better or might be brutal, we don't know yet. No free lunch from the IRS. Literally. If you pay nothing for QEE, you'll not get a tax credit.
- Her health insurance from Kansas might not be acceptable in small town MN. My daughter who goes to school in Florida has to buy the school policy at about $2k per year (and I still get billed $9 for the strep tests). It is not covered by scholarships, even her athletic scholarship. So far it has been about $6k in premiums, with about $100 in claims.
- My kids each got new computers when they started school 4 years ago. They need new ones but it isn't going to happen any time soon. They are both minimalist, and have very little at school in the way of decorations, matching bedding, school supplies, bikes, backpacks (which can cost $65). They do not try to keep up with the fashion trends but have many friends who do.
This is a lot to take in. I did the best I could to get my kids through school but I’m fairly mean and my kids did not have cars, did not have exotic spring break trips for spring break. One did study abroad on the cheap by living in London and only taking one trip to Paris (saw a ton of London and England though). I went through their bills with a fine tooth comb. I questioned charges and asked for discounts. I learned all the tax rules and figured ways to get the best credits. I did the FAFSA and planned how to reduce income after the first year. One has only had to take the subsidized loans but the other has taken the max Stafford loans for the last 3 years. College is expensive.
@twoinanddone That was a great post! The car on campus probably isn’t doable, I see that now.But she probably won’t need it there anyway. There are so many organized activities (referring to SO)
I didn’t pay for the car, I wouldn’t have ever been able to.
My kids don’t have bus service at school so it was absolutely a must for her the past year, because my job is not typical 9-5 she can’t drop my off at work for the day.
Her health insurance is fine, it’s not Medicaid, it’s private health insurance her NCP is court ordered to carry until she is 25 or 26, or until she gets married which is definitely not in her plans.
She will need a computer as she doesn’t have one of her own, the school provides the kids with laptops during the school year. (This has actually been a concern of mine).
We don’t plan on spring break trips, we can’t afford them, that thought never even occurred to me or her. She had an amazing opportunity to travel abroad this summer with her IB director and 5 other IB kids, it was life changing for her. But that was once in a lifetime unless the school she lands at has a strong travel abroad program built into tuition, SO does.
I need to deep dive into taxes, but at this point there isn’t enough income that I even had to pay taxes.
Fashion trends…lol we shop at thrift stores, they developed their own style from that. They don’t get new wardrobes every school year since the stopped growing. I’m ashamed to say that they mostly buy their own clothes with their own money. They are very thrifty kids. We live VERY frugally not just by choice but because we have to.
Again, the car…I didn’t buy it. I couldn’t have. My mother bought cars for each of her grandchildren before she died and she was a very equitable woman, she made sure there was money for my two girls that was specifically earmarked for transportation in her will. My son got his when she was still alive.
We have a small home in a good neighborhood but focus on the word small, about 1100 ft.²
My mortgage payment is significantly less than it would be to rent something in my area.
As far as taxes go I’m not sure that I would get the tax credit if my daughter is the one taking the loan? I’ll need to figure out how that will work next year. But I don’t believe that she can have independent status even if she’s the one taking the loan. It doesn’t really seem fair if it got the tax credit.
My income went up from the measly 9000 last year. I haven’t finished my P&L statements month over month for 2017 yet. But it will definitely be under 24-25000. My summer was tough. I’m still calling it s personal victory that I am still in business year two.
I didn’t lose money but I didn’t make much, still kind of a big deal for me. My rent at my shop in 3x what my mortgage payment at home is. The rent per square-foot is typical for my area.
I don’t know why I pulled that random number as I think about it I’m not even sure I made 20,000. And I’m just talking right numbers if I gave it to an accountant they could make it look like I made nothing. But again I’m not trying to hide anything. I want to be able to contribute to my daughter’s education.
But you do bring up some things I need to look into and become familiar with.
I wasn’t really thinking about all the stuff like physical belongings that she needs to take I was thinking more along the lines of a computer and bedding. Minnesota is cold, she will need some warmer clothes especially since she won’t be going directly out to her car from the front door then directly to a fairly close parking space at her high school. It also gets cold here but she’s not walking out in the elements.
I feel like me bringing up her car opened a can of worms that doesn’t give a clear picture. There really isn’t much more I can cut back on in this home.
We live with just the very basics and often not even the basics. My mom helped put us in a position that I was able to start my business and try to get back on my feet and earn a living wage again.
She left me a little (not a lot) of money that went directly into my start up costs for my business but I still needed a smallish business loan, which I paid off in my first year.
My girls pay their own car insurance but mine doubled just because I have children in my home of driving age. Their insurance actually isn’t too bad. With good student discounts, drivers ed, defensive driving, and so far no tickets or accidents (knocking on wood).
I will probably need to cover her car insurance while she’s in college or she’ll need to earn enough over the summer to cover her premiums which we pay in advance because it saves 500 every six months to pay in full. I’ll need to pay her prescription costs which run about $120 a month with insurance.
I’ll need to continue to pay her cell phone. I do get court ordered CS which has been garnished from day 1,it gets taken from his paycheck then distributed to me from the state after they take 5%.but her small amount will end on July 1st. I definitely have some worries and need to earn more income because that support helped with her prescriptions and out of pocket medical expenses.
There will be no more assistance from the NCP after July 1, period. But thank God her health insurance remains intact.
I’ve thought about a 2nd job but then I can’t be available for my customers. I have lots of things to try to work out.
She has a little bit of savings from her job this summer but it probably isn’t enough to cover her needs at school. We hope she can earn enough this summer to cover toiletries and such over the school year. I’ll do my best to help, I feel like I’m throwing her to the wolves.
I can’t really go into details about my business without absolutely revealing who I am. There aren’t many people who do what I do. I still believe it is a great business model but I can’t really expand without working capital. Again, this is only the beginning of year two, business is steady but I need to expand so I can do more, it’s the dilemma of most small business owners.
I’m just feeling really happy that I made it through year one with a small (very) profit and not a loss. That doesn’t usually happen with a start up.
I did the what was seemingly impossible. I started a business with no working capital and generated enough sales to pay the business expenses and my business loan. The business loan and money I was blessed enough to receive from my mom went into the finish out of my shop.
My personal bills on the other hand took a hit hence the BK. But I had been out of the workforce for awhile because of the other life circumstances, so it would have been inevitable anyway.
I have retained my BK attorney and followed his advice to the letter. I never pay a mortgage payment or my car payment late, always pay my homeownerss imsurance, car insurance, utilities, etc and business expenses on time. But let everything else go.
I’m not proud of any of this but it was our reality. And me working for myself was the best thing.
Don’t let the fact that my daughter has a car muddy the waters. It was what my mom wanted and we were blessed she made that happen.
Just because your health insurance is private does not mean it will be accepted in MN. Please check. The doctors there could easily be “out of network”. I don’t have kids in college yet so other parents can help more on this one but my parents have health insurance from my state and cannot use it where they’ve moved to retire. The insurance in their new state is more expensive for them and they really can’t afford it, but they have only two choices now. Come back here to get the most of their insurance or try to find enough money to pay for their new states’ insurance policy. Long, irrelevant story for this thread but it’s been a huge burden.
Maybe it’s different for college kids as long as all of their medical needs on met on campus? I think you should investigate just to make sure. Probably would only take one phone call.
Re health ins: regardless of the state, colleges usually require that any private health ins be “comparable” to the college plan. They may look at deductibles, doctor networks, etc.
FYI, in case the need arises, the SO plan costs $1,588.
https://wp.stolaf.edu/stuacct/healthinsurance/
Just to reassure you, my kids were/are full pay at an expensive LAC in Maine and
-One of my kids’ favorite place to shop is the local Goodwill. She and her friends pride themselves on getting good deals. Praise be to Macklemore!
-Kids layer in the cold. One of my kids refused to wear a proper winter coat for 4 Maine winters straight. For reference it’s -10 F there today.
-The general guideline for college packing is to load up the car with everything you think you’ll need then take half of it out. The lists put out by places like Bed Bath and Beyond and Target contain things your kid will never use, like ottomans, bed skirts and bathroom scales. Kids don’t really need a floor lamp or fancy under-bed storage. An old laundry basket works just as well and a set of sheets from her bed at home functions the same as a new one from the store. Less is more.
-Kids like having a car at school but it’s rarely necessary. For Thanksgiving or Christmas break it’s likely she can get a ride to somewhere near you for less than the cost of gas for the same trip. The savings on insurance alone will be substantial and honestly parking in some place like MN means constantly having to worry about digging your car out of the snow.
-If she’s straightforward about not having a budget that allows for luxuries her friends will respect that and make sure they plan low-cost outings. Even the wealthy kid often hit some time in the month when they’ve used up their allowed cash and have to live “poor” for a bit so they get it, even if they don’t live it all the time.
Too many pages to read, but just a reminder to have a good backup plan. It seems OP has made a lot of assumptions and if everything works out her way it will be fine, but has very little margin for error and no cushion for the unexpected vagaries of life which can happen. Good luck but be prepared.
@roycroftmom My D has been accepted to 6 LACs that are great schools and her State school’s Honors College. She only has 2 applications pending at this point. We learned the heard way about having all of her eggs in one basket.
@alooknac @homerdog I will check her insurance. Now you’ve got me a little worried. It’s a PPO and does have out of network and out of state options but I need to make sure that isn’t an issue.
@Sue22 I LOVE your post, as usual! The packing advice was awesome! She loves thrifting! It so good to hear she’ll find other who love it also. The bed sheets…are the beds normal, twin sized? I was thinking she would need the extra long sheets everywhere? I’m clearly not well versed yet.
Since it seems like very few students have cars on campus at SO how do they get into town? I’m just curious if they have shuttles or something? What if they want to go to a movie or out to eat occasionally, or need to go pick up a rx or grab something at Target?
Edited to add: I just looked at the link and the her Health Insurance is the same company the SO policy is offered through. I know the policy might be different but I’m hopeful this is a good sign.
I can’t speak to the specific school on your daughter’s list but at most schools the kids can walk into town, or if that’s too far the college has [usually free] shuttles. Kids also give each other rides. In an emergency there’s always Uber.
The other things about these kinds of schools is that they’re pretty self-contained. There’s a lot of entertainment on campus and you can pick up things like toiletries and school supplies at the college bookstore.
Please still check the insurance. I know Blue Cross of Illinois is completely different than Blue Cross of Florida.